View Full Version : Favorite Spam Mail Headers or Messages

28-01-2010, 03:09 PM
These can be quite profound and/or complex. I always check just in case. This is not the best, but it arrived today and made me think (a lot more than most contemporary literature ever does):

Come boldly and see how we fucked - REMEMBER?

28-01-2010, 03:11 PM
I had one the other day that just said


I thought, bloody hell, about what???

Benny B
28-01-2010, 04:41 PM
Whats with all the 'Get RIPPED in 4 weeks!' spam thats going around at the minute? Well embarrassing when I'm using a proxy site at work to check Dissensus and someone looks over your shoulder.

28-01-2010, 05:29 PM
Depends on whether you will be RIPPED in 4 weeks or not?

And what do they mean by "RIPPED"?

And why "4 weeks"?

Isn't that, like, a month or something?

Baffling. Scary.

29-01-2010, 09:45 AM
Great thread!

They've kinda got boring recently, but there was a golden era where spam mail titles were like surreal haikus or something. I also remember a lot of questions like "Is this what some women do to horses?"

29-01-2010, 10:04 AM
hi my name is sebastian foss. are you like me?

Mr. Tea
29-01-2010, 10:14 AM
A small selection from my gmail account's Spam folder:

High love temperament at any age

I'll still love you, come to me, I'm in a hotel!

OLLIE, Learn Massage Therapy!

Energetic boost for your desire! Because all men want their lever to go up!

)I came to your town and there's nothing I do not know, for a walk?

Erase your man troubles.

And that's just from the first page.

I have nonsense spam filler text to thank for blessing my vocabulary with the delightful 'katzenjammer', which literally means 'the yowling of cats' but is also German slang for a really stinking hangover. Great word.

john eden
29-01-2010, 10:22 AM
"vinyl purists: you are boring. please stop."

29-01-2010, 03:44 PM
I had one a few years ago that read:

Everybody loves someone - even you

I am still unpacking that.

It's true that they're not quite as inventive as the 2003-5 Golden Age when we got spam mail surrealist word montages every day. Word generators, I guess, but they were gorgeous. Such Art just to sell Viagra!

Mr. Tea
29-01-2010, 04:13 PM
Yeah, computer programs autogenerating weird dadaist Beat poetry to flog Viagra and porn - it's kind of a masterstroke of postmodernism.

29-01-2010, 04:16 PM
All very 1992. It's an Arthur Kroker orgasm.

29-01-2010, 04:30 PM
I had one a few years ago that read:

Everybody loves someone - even you

That's deep. Woudl it make a good T-shirt?

29-01-2010, 05:07 PM
Yes, unless it was long-sleeved and had Ned's Atomic Dustbin written down the arms.

03-02-2010, 05:58 PM
I am your Russian pussy - you remember my nick name?

(Quite witty, that one.)

Mr. Tea
10-05-2013, 04:35 PM
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

10-05-2013, 10:54 PM
Is your Belly Infested with TOXIC Bugs?
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

I got that one too. The email, that is.

Unrelatedly, I was disappointed to find that no one's set up a women's apparel shop at www.hersuit.com. Missed opportunity.

Mr. Tea
31-05-2013, 03:25 PM
Exiled Nigerian tycoons who want to make me a multi-millionaire? Not interested.

Stunning Russian models queuing up to suck my cock till I'm bored of it? Yawn.

Then I see:

Find printable dog--food coupons on top brands here...!


06-06-2013, 01:38 AM
Dog food is pretty expensive to be fair..

Mr. Tea
08-07-2013, 10:46 AM
3 Innocent Words That Make
(must be 18+ to click)

Watch Shocking Free Video

This automatically triggers her to crave your manhood...
And she'll completely lose control and be aching to
"have you"

I imagine this to be a bit like 'the Voice' used by the Bene Gesserit sisters in Dune.

Mr. Tea
19-07-2013, 10:21 AM

Mr. Tea
18-08-2014, 11:19 AM
The nuclear membrane dissolves as the microtubules invade the nuclear space.

Retrieved September 8, 2011. Belcea Quartet, who gave its premiere at the Wigmore Hall in February 2004.
It ensures that the atria have ejected their blood into the ventricles first before the ventricles contract. He has also succeeded in increasing his fastball velocity from year to year.
He was an Arctic guide and interpreter who played an important role in exploration in that part of North America. He is President of Alvin H.
It currently operates in Italy. For want of provisions, the Sikhs were reduced to rigorous straits. SOS saw an increase in nine of the ten protective factors, while one category saw no change.

Mr. Tea
19-08-2014, 06:26 PM
Well - did you?

26-08-2014, 02:08 PM
The nuclear membrane dissolves as the microtubules invade the nuclear space.i got some cod-biog just now, same bot?

Hearing Services, and Urology Services.
Seven people were confimed dead, and a further 51 injured. More say he rose again and joined the British Army.
England in 1958 by Pearson, supported Nazi ideologies and included former members of the Nazi Party. He has twice been linked with the Indian Cricket Team, in 2008 and 2009, however both times have been press speculation.

Mr. Tea
26-08-2014, 02:24 PM
Sounds like the premise for a pretty badass computer game.

27-08-2014, 12:21 PM
Hi there,

I hope you don't mind if I point out some broken links on the dissensus.com website:

Your Page: http://www.dissensus.com/showthread.php?t=361&page=13, Link: http://www.divus.cz/london/artists/hollands.html
Your Page: http://www.dissensus.com/showthread.php?t=361&page=13, Link: http://www.thisisafrica.me/music/detail/19675/The-real-roots-of-Kwaito-and-South-African-house-music
Your Page: http://www.dissensus.com/showthread.php?t=361&page=13, Link: http://www.thisisafrica.me/music/detail/19648/DJ-Zhao:-observations-from-South-Africa,-a-nation-still-segregated

If you update your site, may I suggest a link? You may be interested in <a href='http://www.bubblegumdance.co.uk'>Bubblegum Dance</a>, a dance company in Croydon that runs lessons, birthday parties and after school clubs, as well as working closely with engaged couples to plan their first dance routines at their wedding.

Kind regards,

Chris Philpot
Hopefully Chris will appreciate us featuring his linky, as per his courteous (automatically generated?) request

24-02-2016, 10:06 AM
My name is Jose miracle.i want to give thanks to Dr fire fire for bringing back my ex husband. No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I’m about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like this, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close friend) that Dr fire fire is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person, It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles; I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn't face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. and he brake up with me again.I was confuse and do not no what to do again,rather them to get in contact with Dr fire. He did a love spell that make my husband come back to me. we are now very much happy with our self. Dr fire fire make him to realize how much we love and need each other.This man is for REAL and for good.he can also help you to fix your broken relationship. I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well,in our love life. contact email(doctorfire77@gmail.com)

(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(cool If you need financial assistance.
(9) If you need a herbal cured for HIV.
(10) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money.


08-06-2016, 04:24 PM
Music leave say doors him. Tore bred form if sigh case as do.
May indulgence difficulty ham can put especially.
Delay music in lived noise an.
Yet she income effect edward.
Or neglected agreeable of discovery concluded oh it sportsman.
Dissimilar compliment cultivated preference eat sufficient may.
Wrote water woman of heart it total other.

apparently this is not a poem, it's a "hash-buster" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hash_buster

Mr. Tea
08-06-2016, 05:51 PM
Algorithms are this century's Beats.

18-12-2017, 09:04 PM
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