Your Own ATP

martin

----
Say someone gave you the chance to "curate" your own ATP. You have a fixed budget of £100. Which of the following artists would you employ for the event? You cannot stray beyond your allowance, and bear in mind that if you put on any old crap, you'll be subjected to a hundred poisonous posts from disgruntled bloggers everywhere. And there should ideally be 3 acts at the very least, 5 max. I think Woebot or Blissblogger or someone important should judge the entries and declare a winner - maybe they could reward them with a grime mix. OK, here's your menu

Capt Beefheart (1 night only) £65
Saxon Sound System (1 night only) £50
Daft Punk £50
Amerie £50
Roll Deep £45
The Streets £45
Dennis Brown £45
Aphex Twin £45
Patti Smith £45
Karlheinz Stockhausen £45
Bloc Party £45
Luke Vibert £45
MIA £45
Miss Kittin £45
Madvillain £40
Ariel Pink £40
The Fall £40
Merzbow £40
Plastikman £40
Richie Hawtin £30
Rachel Stevens £30
Ninjaman £30
Kevin Shields £30
Kid 606 £30
Venetian Snares £30
The Bug £30
Lady Sovereign £30
DJ Rupture £30
Wolf Eyes £20
Death From Above 1979 £20
Ziegenbock Kopf £20
Le Tigre £20
Whitehouse £10
Autechre £10
Selfish Cunt £10
Wild Billy Childish £10
Stiff Little Fingers £5

(OPTIONAL) EXTRAS

Weird artwork everywhere from prominent Goldsmiths graduate - £5
Mental kung fu / sci fi / exploitation films playing simultaneously on screens around venue - £5
Pete Doherty and Kate Moss to be seen stumbling around audience - £10
Security to actually bother protecting artists from bottle throwers - £5 bribe
Zizek to compere and announce each band's entrance with a bit of philosophy - £5
 

john eden

male pale and stale
Depends, dunnit.

Is Saxon with full crew or is it just juggling?

Can we get Zizek to chat 'pon the mic over reworkings of old studio one records?

Will security stop people vandalising the artwork?
 

3underscore

Well-known member
Can we have some £35 artists please?

Already have a proto line-up sorted, but have £5 left and would like to (potentially) improve a band. Considering Zeigenbock Kopf are one of the line-up, the whole notion of preventing people throwing bottles (esp after the last UK tour's voluntary JD bottle fight) seems pointless, so I need to spend £5.
 

mpc

wasteman
Roll Deep £45
DJ Rupture £30
Pete Doherty and Kate Moss to be seen stumbling around audience - £10

the extra £15 will be spent on crack and smoked (with my good pal pete doherty) from a pipe inserted into kate's anal sphincter. we'll then both commit suicide and get an NME front cover. crazy.

(but before we kill ourselves, pete will steal some money off someone and we'll hire lady sovereign and burn her).
 

martin

----
john eden said:
Can I swap SLF for two Oi bands? (pref. including Klasse Kriminale?)

You'll have to check with Blissblogger - he's on the ATP organising committee - send him a PM marked 'URGENT DISSENSUS ATP CONTEST REQUEST'.
 

martin

----
3underscore said:
Can we have some £35 artists please?

Already have a proto line-up sorted, but have £5 left and would like to (potentially) improve a band. Considering Zeigenbock Kopf are one of the line-up, the whole notion of preventing people throwing bottles (esp after the last UK tour's voluntary JD bottle fight) seems pointless, so I need to spend £5.

Sorry mate - you'll have to work with what you've got. Putting on an ATP isn't easy you know! Did ZK really play the UK, can't believe I missed that
 

martin

----
mpc said:
Roll Deep £45
DJ Rupture £30
Pete Doherty and Kate Moss to be seen stumbling around audience - £10

the extra £15 will be spent on crack and smoked (with my good pal pete doherty) from a pipe inserted into kate's anal sphincter. we'll then both commit suicide and get an NME front cover. crazy.

(but before we kill ourselves, pete will steal some money off someone and we'll hire lady sovereign and burn her).

An excellent answer, and one I believe would probably win, except that it's the entire plot of Woebot's new
TV drama pitch.
 

3underscore

Well-known member
martin said:
Sorry mate - you'll have to work with what you've got. Putting on an ATP isn't easy you know! Did ZK really play the UK, can't believe I missed that

Indeed they did - I was due to see them in Glasgow. It seemed to work out that out of four gigs, they made one. It involved lots of smoke, a bottle of JD getting smashed, one of them rolling in it, and consequent lacerations that meant a long hospital stay and the cancellation of the rest of the tour.
 
Top