Cuntishness

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
I'll have to think, but the title of this thread made me laugh for the first time this morning, so thank you.
 

martin

----
OK, I'll kick this off

1) Went on a date with a girl to the flicks, got up halfway through, pretending I was going to the toilet, then walked out, ran round the corner and got a bus home alone

2) Gobbed in a McDonalds employee's face

3) Hit my dad across the face with a hoover (to be fair, he did have a kitchen knife in his hand at the time)

4) Didn't ring my ex-girlfriend back the week her dad died (deliberately) ; also said something extremely nasty to her which I've always regretted since, even now we're not in contact

5) Had a brief fling with a married woman with a kid, got bored, disappeared and ignored her calls, even though I'd clearly hurt her

6) Threw a firework at a parked car



None of these incidents, except 3, were provoked or out of revenge, and therefore I have nothing but regret, and if I could somehow go back and change things, I would

Und du?
 

IdleRich

IdleRich
Well that beats me hands down. I gobbed in a bouncers face once (and threw my lit cigarette in another's face on a different occasion) but that was definitely very provoked, in fact it gives me a warm glow every time I think about the way it dribbled all the way down his face, it was a really snotty one too and I had quite a bad cold. I was going to tell some rubbish story but can't begin to compete with all of the horrible things that you've done. And why does your Dad having a kitchen knife count as provocation, don't you like roast dinner or what?
 

martin

----
IdleRich said:
I was going to tell some rubbish story but can't begin to compete with all of the horrible things that you've done.

Great - now I feel like the biggest cunt on the forum.

Unless John Eden recounts the story he told me and the taxi driver.....though we might get a diff version now he's sobered up
 

matt b

Indexing all opinion
professionally:

i once pulled a chair from under a student as she was sitting down. she had pissed me off. but i felt very bad afterwards.
 

jenks

thread death
matt b said:
professionally:

i once pulled a chair from under a student as she was sitting down. she had pissed me off. but i felt very bad afterwards.

please matt don't start making me think about things i have regretted doing in the classroom!!!

handing back some work and asking the kids to open a window because 'this work stinks' is the least of it - i don't know if i can bring myself to share the worst!
 

Woebot

Well-known member
i pushed my brother down the stairs once and concussed him.

in my defense the gloves were off for many years. he pushed me off a slide once and broke my arm and, AND he broke my nose in a drive-by punch (you've heard of a drive-by shooting......)
 

tryptych

waiting for a time
WOEBOT said:
i pushed my brother down the stairs once and concussed him.

in my defense the gloves were off for many years. he pushed me off a slide once and broke my arm and, AND he broke my nose in a drive-by punch (you've heard of a drive-by shooting......)

Was he in a car or on a bike?
 

labrat

hot on the heels of love
YEARS ago L****t and a friend decided we HATED Fred Dibnah (dead professional northerner) he used to knock down disused factory chimneys
to great local acclaim (this IS the North) the night before he would chip
Away at the bottom of the chimney ,pack it with wood & paper and leave it till the next day –set fire to the kindling to the delight of traction engine fans …. However in the night subversives/spoilsports set it alight and RUINED it for everyone….the Atherton Observer was horrified!
 

bassnation

the abyss
labrat said:
YEARS ago L****t and a friend decided we HATED Fred Dibnah (dead professional northerner) he used to knock down disused factory chimneys
to great local acclaim (this IS the North) the night before he would chip
Away at the bottom of the chimney ,pack it with wood & paper and leave it till the next day –set fire to the kindling to the delight of traction engine fans …. However in the night subversives/spoilsports set it alight and RUINED it for everyone….the Atherton Observer was horrified!

when i was a teenager me and my friends were sat on a bus and there was this girl sat there holding these white crosses. emboldened by my company, i said "what you got those crosses for, off to kill some vampires?" (hur hur hur)

"no" she said "i'm going to put them on my fathers grave"

wheres that hole opening up underneath you when you need it?

actually theres many things (all of them back from teenage years, strangely enough) and some of them are bad but not that funny (with some leading to minor criminal offences which no doubt are still on some file somwhere). generally they are not the kind of thing i'd readily admit on a public forum, just the usual vandalism, drug abuse and violence. hasn't everyone had that?

the funny thing is with these incidents is its kind of hard to remember them off the cuff, but they are the kind of thing that pops into your head randomely 20 years later and you just cringe.

if my sons are anything like me (perfectly good upbringing all the rest) then i dread them coming of age.
 
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mistersloane

heavy heavy monster sound
I never stopped Marika and Psyche dropping lipstick into that cow Selina's bag and then getting her done for shoplifting. And I never stopped them from pushing her into Camden canal either. She kept on hanging around with us though. So maybe she didn't mind.
 

bruno

est malade
i have been a massive cunt in the past, but never on porpoise. now it's be nice or keep your mouth shut.
 
fantastic thread. fantastic title of thread. if i can think of something worth mentioning, I will, but generally I seem to have led a cuntless life.

oh, yeah!! I put some dubstep MP3s on my blog once without asking permission. wotta cunt!!
 

John Doe

Well-known member
Nick Gutterbreakz said:
fantastic thread. fantastic title of thread. if i can think of something worth mentioning, I will, but generally I seem to have led a cuntless life.

oh, yeah!! I put some dubstep MP3s on my blog once without asking permission. wotta cunt!!

Nah - sorry mate. That's just been a bit, ummm, remiss. You'll have to try harder than that to mix it in the big league of cuntishness with Martin ;).
 

Lichen

Well-known member
Remorsless, nagging bullying of a boy at school. We called him "Wahhhhh" for 5 years 'casue we thought he looked like a baby.

CUNT

:(
 

Jezmi

Olli Oliver Steichelsmein
I don't remember this, and it wasn't on purpose but.......On valentines day, late in the evening (might have been past twelve, so not really V day anymore) after a binge drink, threw up over a couple.
Now I probably feel worse because I don't remember it. I mean they'd probably had a very nice valentines day date, all very romantic, etc, etc. And then ruined because of a puke shower. :eek:
 
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