Motivation

fldsfslmn

excremental futurism
This is a practical question. I'm sure everyone struggles with procrastination, low energy, and general laziness to some degree, but it is really affecting my life. I'm struggling with it a lot at the moment -- unsure of what could be physiological (vitamins/nutrients/glands/whatever) and what is just straight-up self-sabotage.

I think a lot of people are amotivational because they don't really know what they want, but I have a clearly defined goal. In this instance, to get excellent grades in university. This is a goal for which I've already made sacrifices -- I've put other ambitions on the backburner (relatively crucial things like girls and music) to maximize my ability to focus. I've been largely drug-free since the summer and that has helped my ability to concentrate on reading, but not in terms of my ability to come up with concepts for projects and papers. Why can't I just plan my time effectively, work a bit each day, and not waste the last day looking at message boards 24 hrs before the assignment is due? And even now that I've been working on it for most of the evening, I just feel like giving up and going to sleep -- hoping the university will blow up overnight, or maybe asking for an extension, or just handing something really shitty in.

Has anyone been through this and conquered it (at least to a degree where your goals are not slipping away from you each day)? How do you make the worlds of achievement and psychological/physiological capability coincide more often? I'd be interested in how this applies to different fields too -- people who have learned a trade, or play sports, or make art, or whatever it is that you do.
 

Woebot

Well-known member
maybe if you make time to have a bit of a giggle as well. the odd night of debauchery frinstance, that may help.

signed
yr agony aunt
 

Randy Watson

Well-known member
I am not sure that excluding other ambitions or aspects of your life will help you to maximise your concentration. Too much time looking at any one thing can lead to a sort of stasis of thought, which in turn creates frustration.

Find someone you can communicate with and act as mutual editors of ideas and papers. I did not find my relationships with my tutors very helpful (as much my fault as theirs) and feel sure I would have done better if I'd found a rewarding study group.

I don't know all your circ's but writing about what you are interested in is always easier.

Good luck :)
 

Rambler

Awanturnik
Things that work for me:

1) Keep hydrated.

2) Have several things in progress at once. If you don't feel motivated to do one, work on another.

3) At the end of the day take stock of what you've done, how much closer you are to your goals.

4) I realised a while ago that I'm not a late-night person - all my best work is done in the morning, so if that's the case force yourself to work on the odd Saturday/Sunday morning. Finish work by midday and I've usually done enough to justify the rest of the day off.

5) Relax. Focus on the small goals first - use the big goals to remind you of why you're doing the small goals.

Hope some of this works for you.
 

egg

Dumpy's Rusty Nut
I had that problem and I still do in terms of what I have to do for other people (my job).

I don't have that problem in terms of what I do for myself.

But you're not alone, my brother is going through it and many of my friends and acquaintances.

Firstly when you say your goal is to get excellent grades, what proportion of your final grade is dependent on what you do now? I ask because I was so unmotivated that I failed my second year, but the juice kicked in when they let me back in and I worked ballhard in the final year, doing 2 years worth of papers.

I reckon half of academia is trying to 'teach' you to do it all for yourself, so they almost deliberately don't help you with decent tutorials or support interaction with your peers; but that's not really the most effective way to navigate life, so Randy's working with others thing is definitely worth a try; it depends on the culture of your institution.

It strikes me that the goal of excellent grades is similar to the goal of making money - focused on the outcome rather than the process. As someone else said 'writing about what you are interested in is always easier'. Why do you want excellent grades?

Rambler's advice is spot on, but you may find you can't implement it. That happened to me - I read reams about it, it all said the same stuff, but I just couldn't do it. Something that's been a key part of changing for me, and is working for others, is cognitive behavioural therapy. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend it if you can spare the money or get someone else to pay for it.

add to the goodluck chorus !
 

luka

Well-known member
i;ve never been motivated in my life. once you've stopped giving a shit its hard to care again. good luck though!
 

Rambler

Awanturnik
egg said:
Rambler's advice is spot on, but you may find you can't implement it.

Haha - I never said I was any good at it myself ;) Spend too much of my time avoiding effort these days.
 

egg

Dumpy's Rusty Nut
Melmoth said:
holy fuck that sounds sinister
don't it just?

but it ain't at all....... in fact having been the victim of several counselling/psychotherapy techniques I can confidently say it's the least sinister of the lot....in fact wholly unsinister

wholly fuck:D
 

Grievous Angel

Beast of Burden
Melmoth said:
holy fuck that sounds sinister
It isn't, it's quite straightforward.

Anyway.

From the sound of it you're not motivated because you're ignoring inner needs and desires and they're getting their own back by screwing up your conscious / rational drive to get good grades.

So, the question is, why do you want good grades? Is there a reason for getting good grades that doesn't just sound "justified" in your head, but feels right in your stomach?

Why are you trying to get good grades? Are you trying to impress and gain the approval of your parents? Are they instrumental in you getting a particular job? If so what sort of job and why do you want it?

Any of these motivating factors are OK -- it's OK to want to get your parents' approval for example -- but do they really reflect what your inner needs are or are they intermediate aims that conceal a deeper, unfulfilled desire?

I suspect that in being "disciplined" about getting good grades, you're actually just beating yourself up and actually increasing the likelihood that you will be unable to exhibit the behaviours you need to fulfil your conscious objective.

It's hard to get a full and complete picture of your inner needs and it's impossible to do so overnight (pace NLPers). But you can start to get a bit closer to them and as you become more aware of how it feels when you get glimpses of what you really want, you'll find the rest of your life falling into place.

The way to start getting into this is with self-compassion (and if you can stretch it into compassion for others, that's a bonus). One exercise you can try is to, for five minutes every day, sit in a safe secluded place, with your eyes closed, and with your hands folded on your navel, and do two things:

1) focus on how your belly feels -- floppy, satiated, anxious, jumpy, whatever -- and then think about what your current objectives are, which you think you're too unmotivated to achieve. In this instance, it's your school work. Notice whether you get a warm glow in your belly when you think about school work, or the ends that successful completion of school work will confer -- and notice if you start feeling anxious or alienated when considering those ends.

2) Say, in your head, that you forgive yourself for not doing your school work "well enough", for not studying hard enough, for not being "motivated". Say it over and over again.

Step 2 is much the most important. Step 1 helps you get a handle on how it feels when you've something you really want to do -- but this is a slippery concept and what you want / need changes through time anyway. Step 1 is important because it helps you get attuned to what your needs and feelings are.

Step 2 however is much more important because, regardless of what self-insight one manages to achieve, the process of self-compassion and self-forgiveness will liberate a lot of the energy which is currently being locked up in beating yourself up for not being good enough (always feel "too tired" to study, so you just hit the boards instead? maybe this is why).

This exercise will, over time, be a really good way of calming yourself down and giving yourself the space in which to prepare for successful study. But the reason people are most likely to give up on this is because they suddenly get in touch with feelings of anxiety and self-hatred they didn't realise were there. The way to respond to this is to give yourself a break. Forgive yourself. You're on OK guy -- tell yourself that.

There's no project plan for getting motivation, but self-compassion just makes your aims and your behaviours slowly fall into place.
 

Grievous Angel

Beast of Burden
mms said:
stretch your chest, pull up your sternum to the sun and walk proud.
Oh, yeah, that one's a classic.

Typical reaction -- sudden flash of fear in the stomach. Way to deal with that is to gently calm and
reassure yourself. Then feel the glow running down from your sternum to your belly.
 

luka

Well-known member
so uncle meme, what about people who don't feel anything in their stomachs or anywhere else? does that mean they have no inner self? say everything is flat-

also i disagree with the love yourself to be motivated thing entirely. i think its the total opposite. teh ebst motivating forces are fear, stress and desire to gain the approval of others. i know becasue i never suffer from any of those things and i've never been motivated to do anything. look at high acheivers-they're fucked in the head.
 

egg

Dumpy's Rusty Nut
luka said:
i disagree with the love yourself to be motivated thing entirely. i think its the total opposite. teh ebst motivating forces are fear, stress and desire to gain the approval of others. i know becasue i never suffer from any of those things and i've never been motivated to do anything. look at high acheivers-they're fucked in the head.
they're not mutually exclusive

assuming fldsfslmn is fucked in the head therefore will go far
 

jenks

thread death
motivation is difficult and i don't really know why and how i get motivated - i certainly didn't set out to be a conscientious person - just ask anybody who ever taught me - but i have found i have become motivated through a) just getting older b) realising i am quite good at some things c) not taking work home and thus creating a clear division between the two d) going down the pub at least once a week to watch football an dnot talk about work/ideas/literature only football/cricket/any other major sporting event e) getting out on the bike once a week and putting in a good twenty - thirty mile ride and finally making sure i read what i want for at least half an hour every day - this may all sound regimented and young turks like luka may scoff but it works for me.
i hope you find whatever it is that works for you.
 

luka

Well-known member
oh be competitive too. desire status. want to be better than other people. want to do better than other people.
 

mms

sometimes
luka said:
oh be competitive too. desire status. want to be better than other people. want to do better than other people.

ahh bollocks to your genes, you are mr lighthouse 2005,
out of all the millions of sperm, you were chosen.
end of story.
 

mms

sometimes
egg said:
mr lighthouse as in 'tunde' out of the lighthouse family?

celebrity alert!

no but it's quite shocking you know his name.
i want to do a finsbury park mr jesus 2005 comp, for people who think they look like jesus.
i reckon there would be quite a varied range of contestants.
 
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