PDA

View Full Version : Your last day



tomd
29-12-2007, 09:21 PM
If it was going to be your last day on earth tomorrow, what would you spend it doing?
Ive asked around 30 people so far, some people answering very similar to one another. Be clear it is only your last day, nobody else is aware and everybody else in the world will live on.

The fastest answer i've got so far was "i'd start killing people".

Mr. Tea
29-12-2007, 09:42 PM
Oh, the predictable stuff, you know: contact my nearest and dearest, ring some friends and relatives I haven't spoken to for ages, put my affairs in order and spend one last night of passion with my girlfriend before spiritually preparing myself for the End.

Or I might just run around Trafalgar square stark naked, biting the heads off pigeons and masturbating furiously while cackling with insane glee.

IdleRich
29-12-2007, 11:52 PM
"Or I might just run around Trafalgar square stark naked, biting the heads off pigeons and masturbating furiously while cackling with insane glee."
It's your last day alive, why not try something different for a change?

Mr. Tea
30-12-2007, 12:48 AM
It's your last day alive, why not try something different for a change?

Well I've tried to vary my daily routine from time to time, but I get no end of hassle about it from your mum.

bnek
30-12-2007, 01:18 AM
im not sure id do anything different to be honest, it depends on the weather. if it was a pleasant day id probably go to a nice park and relax. otherwise id stay in and listen to music. if it was a weekday id take the day off work. i doubt id tell anybody i was about to die either.

Dial
30-12-2007, 02:23 PM
Watch. Listen. Feel. Attend carefully. What else is worth doing?

noel emits
30-12-2007, 03:02 PM
Drugs. Lots of drugs. And laughing.

swears
30-12-2007, 03:48 PM
I'd have a bag of those BBQ flavour Doritos, not tried them yet.

noel emits
30-12-2007, 04:00 PM
I can recommend the Sainsbury's value ones. Only 18p and no additives!

swears
30-12-2007, 04:04 PM
Nah, I'm going out in style!

Dial
30-12-2007, 04:15 PM
Drugs. Lots of drugs. And laughing.

And if the man's not on time?

noel emits
30-12-2007, 04:26 PM
And if the man's not on time?
Yeah the thing is Dial, this is hypothetical. Anyway the original question says it's tomorrow so that's plenty of time to get sorted. Also the man is never early, he's always late so you just factor that in.

Mr. Tea
30-12-2007, 05:09 PM
Also the man is never early, he's always late so you just factor that in.

I love the idea of Lou Reed actually singing this!

noel emits
30-12-2007, 05:14 PM
"Once thing you learn is that you've always got to make allowances for the lack of respect for punctuality entertained by members of the criminal classes with regards to those they exploit for profit."

Mr. Tea
30-12-2007, 05:21 PM
"And what costume shall the poor girl wear...to a three-day live music festival in a former holiday camp on the south coast of England, featuring a line-up of semi-obscure post-rock acts chosen by Steve Albini?"

noel emits
30-12-2007, 06:15 PM
I thought this film was pretty good: Last Night - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0156729/

The world is coming to an end and it follows what a few people get up to in the last hours.

bassnation
30-12-2007, 10:21 PM
The fastest answer i've got so far was "i'd start killing people".

i find that scary - like, what, is the only thing stopping him kicking off with that programme the fact that hes going to be around to face the consequences?

Martin Dust
30-12-2007, 10:38 PM
I reckon I'd spend it with my family, nice day out, perhaps a meal. Early bar and fall asleep on sofa.

gek-opel
30-12-2007, 10:57 PM
Either kill people, or more realistically, sit at home arguing with people I don't know over the internet.

Dial
30-12-2007, 11:22 PM
Yeah the thing is Dial, this is hypothetical.

It was a Burroughs reference as it happens ;) If that's your way drugs and laughing sounds like a great last day.

noel emits
30-12-2007, 11:34 PM
It was a Burroughs reference as it happens ;) If that's your way drugs and laughing sounds like a great last day.
Oh really! As if Burroughs knew anything about drugs. :p

But yeah, I'd probably have to do family stuff anyway. Such is life.

Dial
30-12-2007, 11:54 PM
Oh really! As if Burroughs knew anything about drugs. :p

But yeah, I'd probably have to do family stuff anyway. Such is life.

Well, then you know what to do with the second to last day. (or maybe third, with a day to recover before that 'family stuff' :D)

noel emits
31-12-2007, 12:24 AM
Well, then you know what to do with the second to last day. (or maybe third, with a day to recover before that 'family stuff' :D)
Right, thanks for the advice. What would I do etc..

Dial
31-12-2007, 04:57 AM
Right, thanks for the advice. What would I do etc..

Not really getting the attitude, Noel.

tomd
31-12-2007, 12:02 PM
i find that scary - like, what, is the only thing stopping him kicking off with that programme the fact that hes going to be around to face the consequences?

The question blatently churns out answers of activities/people you feel most strongly about. He claims he'd like to share the pain which he was going to recieve with as many people as possible. 'They' say everyone is capable, I assume 'they' mean mentally (Steven Hawkins for example), of killing someone. Perhaps the idea of tragedy just makes certain people think they would inflict it.

noel emits
31-12-2007, 12:57 PM
Not really getting the attitude, Noel.
Alright then, sod off. Is that clearer? Sorry I don't know you at all but you seem to have initiated to this slightly off jousting session with me on the basis of my answers to this thread which were really not entirely serious. And what's with scare-quoting 'family-stuff' like that? I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding but your last four posts have come across as kind of condescending and I've taken it in good humour but you've continued to give that impression.

"Not really getting the attitude' - what are you, some kind of Christian schoolteacher?

Mr. Tea
31-12-2007, 02:25 PM
Oh really! As if Burroughs knew anything about drugs. :p


I gather nomadologist taught him everything he knew. ;)

spooky girlfriend
31-12-2007, 03:38 PM
Drugs. Lots of drugs. And laughing.
Second that, total smothering of the senses. I would emotionally blackmail friends into joining me and give crack a go. Better yet act on my violent urges in the high street and see just how badly I get beaten up, using speedballs for anaesthetic. Can you tell I'm single?

Dial
31-12-2007, 07:30 PM
Alright then, sod off. Is that clearer? Sorry I don't know you at all but you seem to have initiated to this slightly off jousting session with me on the basis of my answers to this thread which were really not entirely serious. And what's with scare-quoting 'family-stuff' like that? I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding but your last four posts have come across as kind of condescending and I've taken it in good humour but you've continued to give that impression.

"Not really getting the attitude' - what are you, some kind of Christian schoolteacher?

Dude, you're over reacting to a witticism, lame, or otherwise, as it might have been. I thought the reference was simple enough and likely to be picked up with relative ease. It was meant to be a friendly 'joust'.

The 'scare quotes' weren't scare quotes they were there to signal a quote ie something you'd previously said.

And no, you haven't taken what I've said in 'good humor' (not scare quotes, quote quotes for emphasis) You've taken it in remarkably poor humor.

My apologies if I've caused offense, I obviously made a misjudgment. I'll pay better attention next time. Now, kindly fuck off, and project whatever shit you're wrestling with elsewhere.

zhao
01-01-2008, 10:43 AM
sit at home arguing with people I don't know over the internet.

if it was really your last day man, i would gladly drop everything else to do this with you. maybe the subject of "eastern" vs. "western" constructions of subjectivity would suffice? but of course you can choose.

but i guess i'd do it on pretty much any other day too.

to Dial and Noel: what is it with this new year? i had some problems with my dj partner last night when playing to a full house last night as well. and we never really had any problems before. i hope the first day is not an indication of how the rest will be...

gek-opel
01-01-2008, 02:00 PM
if it was really your last day man, i would gladly drop everything else to do this with you. maybe the subject of "eastern" vs. "western" constructions of subjectivity would suffice? but of course you can choose.


Aw...:D

Chuu
02-01-2008, 12:15 AM
Stick up Greggs with a shotgun and eat yum yums till I go.

gek-opel
02-01-2008, 01:12 AM
I did once consume ten Gregg's chocolate covered doughnuts in a single sitting for a challenge. The doughnuts were alright but the chocolate covering was absolutely repulsive and this became especially apparent after the fourth one...

baboon2004
02-01-2008, 10:29 AM
Either kill people, or more realistically, sit at home arguing with people I don't know over the internet.

Hey, that was my answer. Maybe the two could fruitfully be combined? Who am I kidding - I already have a list.

As for the doughnut challenge - what kind of depraved, ungodly world do you live in that you chose Gregg's as the place to do this?

Immryr
02-01-2008, 11:01 AM
maybe it was specifically a greggs doughnut challenge!

baboon2004
02-01-2008, 11:06 AM
maybe it was specifically a greggs doughnut challenge!

That's like doing a Costcutters sandwich challenge. *shudders*

Pestario
02-01-2008, 11:07 AM
Yes, surely if you're going to hold up aplace with a shotgun you could do better than Greggs.

My last day would be a quiet one. Sitting in a park admiring the natural beauty of this world (maybe a little stoned). When it came to actually dying I would want to just flop over on a park bench to be discovered by a passing jogger/homeless person. Die alone and anonymously I say.

baboon2004
02-01-2008, 11:12 AM
Die alone and anonymously I say.

Have you ever thought of writing self-help books? ;)

Mr. Tea
02-01-2008, 01:59 PM
I did once consume ten Gregg's chocolate covered doughnuts in a single sitting for a challenge.

Hahaha...other people eat doughnuts because they're hungry and like the taste; Gek-opel eats doughnuts to EXPLORE THE BOUNDARIES OF WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HUMAN IN A CAPITALIST CONSUMER SOCIETY. :p

gek-opel
02-01-2008, 02:08 PM
It means to be sickly then it that case...

The challenge was just that, a challenge a friend of mine set. I wouldn't have chosen Gregg's doughnuts if I had been paying I would definitely hasten to add.

baboon2004
03-01-2008, 12:08 PM
It means to be sickly then it that case...

The challenge was just that, a challenge a friend of mine set. I wouldn't have chosen Gregg's doughnuts if I had been paying I would definitely hasten to add.

What was the, ahem, upshot of the challenge? Was it by any chance reminiscent of the Exorcist?

gek-opel
03-01-2008, 02:10 PM
What was the, ahem, upshot of the challenge? Was it by any chance reminiscent of the Exorcist?

No I managed to keep 'em down, though the poor quality chocolate flavoured covering meant I felt like I had a fever for the rest of the afternoon...

nomadologist
03-01-2008, 02:17 PM
Second that, total smothering of the senses. I would emotionally blackmail friends into joining me and give crack a go. Better yet act on my violent urges in the high street and see just how badly I get beaten up, using speedballs for anaesthetic. Can you tell I'm single?

Crack on your last day? I'm going to advise against that. 55 valiums? Ok. Haldol? That will work. Whippets even? maybe.

But I don't think you would want to do crack while you waited to die.

gek-opel
03-01-2008, 02:18 PM
100 cups of coffee. I know after 20 you start hallucinating and have a 6 hour comedown of terrifying paranoia to deal with.

nomadologist
03-01-2008, 02:24 PM
100 cups of coffee. I know after 20 you start hallucinating and have a 6 hour comedown of terrifying paranoia to deal with.

Yes, if you like a good horrorshow, you could smoke some crack, take a couple of bottles of No-doz, a few "triple stacks" of e, AMT, and maybe smoke some salvia for good measure.

If the panic attacks didn't kill you first, you'd probably have no idea you were about to die after an hour or two.

gek-opel
03-01-2008, 02:37 PM
Yes, if you like a good horrorshow, you could smoke some crack, take a couple of bottles of No-doz, a few "triple stacks" of e, AMT, and maybe smoke some salvia for good measure.

If the panic attacks didn't kill you first, you'd probably have no idea you were about to die after an hour or two.

?

nomadologist
03-01-2008, 02:40 PM
Over-the-counter caffeine tablets. They're pretty archaic now, what with all of the insane energy drinks we have on the market with almost as much caffeine/taurine/etc.

I have never had worse caffeine-induced trauma from anything but No-Doz.

gek-opel
03-01-2008, 02:45 PM
Im currently averaging ten cups of double-strength instant coffee per day in a vainglorious attempt to retain consciousness whilst frenziedly writing end of term papers. Its working in so far as words magically appear but I've already become strictly nocturnal. I suspect strong speed of some form would be better but I can't risk the crash at this midway point (or the sensation of being overly aware of blood moving through my veins)
I never found energy drinks worked at all.

mistersloane
03-01-2008, 02:53 PM
Crack on your last day? I'm going to advise against that. 55 valiums? Ok. Haldol? That will work. Whippets even? maybe.

But I don't think you would want to do crack while you waited to die.

crack with e and codeine I think might temper the edge slightly :)

If I knew months beforehand that I was gonna die, I'd write to Michael Jackson and Desmond Tutu and ask to meet them, but I'm presuming it's kinda like you wake up and God appears and tells you you're gonna die on the day or something. And even if God did appear and tell me I was gonna die, I think I'd push my luck and ignore the tip-off.

nomadologist
03-01-2008, 03:29 PM
haha why am i not surprised that most people frame their last day in terms of substance injestion? michael jackson showing up does beat crack either way!

the weird part about paper writing is that i finally noticed that my papers written on speed or uppers were never *better* than others. speed just gave me enough time so i could put off writing them to a degree of "last-minuteness" that was absolutely ridiculous. i also noticed that caffeine/speed/stimulant-influenced papers had horrible grammar and punctuation. sometimes i'd really wonder why i'd get, on average, better grades on them than normal ones.

Mr. Tea
03-01-2008, 03:53 PM
i also noticed that caffeine/speed/stimulant-influenced papers had horrible grammar and punctuation. sometimes i'd really wonder why i'd get, on average, better grades on them than normal ones.

Your tutors were big Kerouac fans?

nomadologist
03-01-2008, 03:57 PM
kerouac sucks. if you're going to write ungrammatical drug-induced rants you'd probably rather be compared to hunter s. thompson.

mistersloane
03-01-2008, 03:59 PM
I saw the finest minds of my generation destroyed by Kerouac.

Mr. Tea
03-01-2008, 04:39 PM
Haha, I tried to read OTR a few years ago, got about 50 pages in and gave up.

My girlfriend recently borrowed my copy and has more perseverance than me: she decided there was no point giving up after getting halfway through, but I think she's regretting her decision.

nomadologist
03-01-2008, 10:43 PM
the only worse documents of the aesthetic of repulsive misogynistic american alcoholism are the ones bukowski shat out

Mr. Tea
04-01-2008, 02:16 PM
Now that's a different matter, I thought Factotum was quite good fun. In a horrid, pitiable sort of way.

fokse vektaire xeven
05-01-2008, 02:09 PM
the only worse documents of the aesthetic of repulsive misogynistic american alcoholism are the ones bukowski shat out

However Bukowski was a fine writer with style and economy, regardless of whether you identify with the content of his work, which cannot be said for Kerouac- whom Bukowski neither respected nor wished to be associated with. Bukowski wrote some sharp, eloquent poetry.

And personally i would say there's value in the substance of his work whether you find it "repulsive" or not. Also he was pretty much entirely responsible for saving John Fante from total obscurity, which is worthwhile in itself. Though perhaps you'll just dismiss Fante out of hand as another drunk and misogynist :slanted:

mistersloane
05-01-2008, 07:55 PM
Norman Mailer is another one I'd have up against the wall come the revolution. Oh damn, he died already. Shame.

Mr. Tea
05-01-2008, 08:12 PM
Norman Mailer is another one I'd have up against the wall come the revolution. Oh damn, he died already. Shame.

Sounds like an idea for a thread - Dead people you wish you could bring back to life just so you can kill them.

gek-opel
05-01-2008, 08:17 PM
Sounds like an idea for a thread - Dead people you wish you could bring back to life just so you can kill them.

Can I nominate Thatcher for the follow-up thread on people who aren't yet dead but who you are waiting until they die so then you can wish that you could bring back from the dead just so you can kill them? Oh and Bono please of course... K thnks bye...

nomadologist
05-01-2008, 11:06 PM
Bukowski wrote some sharp, eloquent poetry.


You really think so? I think his poetry is especially worthless. There's value in work that is intentionally repulsive at times, I'll give you that.

I might even put him in the pile with "people i'd bring back to life tokill them again."

Dial
06-01-2008, 11:47 AM
You really think so? I think his poetry is especially worthless. There's value in work that is intentionally repulsive at times, I'll give you that.

I might even put him in the pile with "people i'd bring back to life tokill them again."

Ha. I came to this last post first. Made me laugh out loud. Thanks for restoring my sense of humor.

And Noel, have you forgiven me yet, mate?

Mr. Tea
06-01-2008, 02:40 PM
Ha. I came to this last post first. Made me laugh out loud. Thanks for restoring my sense of humor.


And it was MY thread idea too, harrumph!

:cool:

fokse vektaire xeven
07-01-2008, 12:13 AM
You really think so? I think his poetry is especially worthless. There's value in work that is intentionally repulsive at times, I'll give you that.

I might even put him in the pile with "people i'd bring back to life tokill them again."

Would i have said so otherwise? It happens to be the case. Though your ungenerous and ignorant assessment of his work is no surprise. He fell out of favour in academic circles a long time ago.

I'll leave you with two quotes- one from Jean Genet:

"The best poet in America"

The other from his gravestone:

"Don't Try."

Apologies for the thread drift Mr. Tea, I promise i won't do it again if you change your avatar ;)

Mr. Tea
07-01-2008, 12:29 AM
Apologies for the thread drift Mr. Tea, I promise i won't do it again if you change your avatar ;)

What's wrong with you? It's clearly the best avatar ever. :cool:

mistersloane
07-01-2008, 12:41 AM
What's wrong with you? It's clearly the best avatar ever. :cool:

Yes, but rather distracting. I keep thinking it's a baby's foot in his mouth, and then have a vague desire to zoom in to find out whether it is or not, and then decide not to, just in case it is.

fokse vektaire xeven
07-01-2008, 01:00 AM
What's wrong with you? It's clearly the best avatar ever. :cool:

I think what's wrong with you would probably be the more pertinent question ;)

what can i say, it just makes my visits to dissensus less....wholesome

i'm afraid i find myself scrolling it off the edge of the screen :rolleyes:

However you have now also contributed to the probably irreversible thread drift, so i feel better anyway.

personally i was surprised by the initial responses as to how well adjusted you all are. i'd have expected a little more transgression/ breaking of societal boundaries during people's last 24.

mistersloane
07-01-2008, 01:16 AM
personally i was surprised by the initial responses as to how well adjusted you all are. i'd have expected a little more transgression/ breaking of societal boundaries during people's last 24.

I can't think of anything more transgressive than having tea with Michael Jackson.

Slothrop
07-01-2008, 01:28 AM
Im currently averaging ten cups of double-strength instant coffee per day in a vainglorious attempt to retain consciousness whilst frenziedly writing end of term papers. Its working in so far as words magically appear but I've already become strictly nocturnal.
The best thing about that is deciding it's finally time to turn in, and winding down before bed with a whisky and some music while the sun rises.

Slothrop
07-01-2008, 01:36 AM
Thatcher
It's astonishing the number of people - even a lot of people who were too young to be politically aware while she was in power - who noticeably shudder or clench up when she appears unexpectedly on TV....

Oh, and somewhere near on topic, do other people get those dreams where you're in a situation where you know you're going to die and a bizarre sense of peace and resignation sets in before you wake up feeling really freaked out?

fokse vektaire xeven
07-01-2008, 02:01 AM
I can't think of anything more transgressive than having tea with Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson having sex with small boys?

Now what would HE do with his last day...

mistersloane
07-01-2008, 10:19 AM
Michael Jackson having sex with small boys?

Now what would HE do with his last day...

He could come and have tea with me on my last day and we could die in each others arms *sigh*

Dial
07-01-2008, 11:59 AM
You really think so? I think his poetry is especially worthless. There's value in work that is intentionally repulsive at times, I'll give you that.

I might even put him in the pile with "people i'd bring back to life to kill them again.




Ha. I came to this last post first. Made me laugh out loud. Thanks for restoring my sense of humor.


And it was MY thread idea too, harrumph!



Sounds like an idea for a thread - Dead people you wish you could bring back to life just so you can kill them.

Credit where it's due Mr Tea. ;)

swears
07-01-2008, 01:09 PM
He could come and have tea with me on my last day and we could die in each others arms *sigh*

But it wouldn't be your last day, 'cause he'd miraculously heal you with his love.

Earth Song time: Ahhh ah ahhhh ah ah ahhhh ahhhh....

Mr. Tea
07-01-2008, 02:38 PM
Earth Song time: Ahhh ah ahhhh ah ah ahhhh ahhhh....

*jumps on stage and waggles corduroy-clad arse at audience* :cool:

FVX: I'll change my avatar today I think, I've had that one for a while anyway. It just, shall we say, grabbed me!

Edit: Louis Wain for the win.

Gavin
07-01-2008, 06:52 PM
A day is so short! What can you possibly do?

I think I'd like to meet the last one sober. Well, maybe with a drink in hand.

fokse vektaire xeven
08-01-2008, 03:11 PM
FVX: I'll change my avatar today I think, I've had that one for a while anyway. It just, shall we say, grabbed me!

Edit: Louis Wain for the win.

thanks, my life is now a very very tiny bit better, and it all helps :D

of course it would have to be wain after he lost it ;)


A day is so short! What can you possibly do?


I guess that's the point. life for a mayfly and all that. would a week be any easier?

Pestario
08-01-2008, 04:09 PM
A week would be so much harder to think about. You could possibly accomplish a lot but you would still be freaking out the whole time. How could you sleep?

A day forces you to accept your fate quickly and focus on what's important - like getting completely mashed out of your mind.

Mr. Tea
08-01-2008, 04:59 PM
thanks, my life is now a very very tiny bit better, and it all helps :D


I think you're confusing me with http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:YWyatgEAAmD5uM:http://www.pspsps.tv/Tesco_Logo.jpg, but I'm pleased for you all the same.

mistersloane
08-01-2008, 05:04 PM
Edit: Louis Wain for the win.

You've changed. You're just not the same person anymore. I hardly even recognise you.

Gavin
08-01-2008, 05:48 PM
While I don't hate my family or anything, I think spending the last day with them would be very disappointing.

mistersloane
08-01-2008, 06:01 PM
While I don't hate my family or anything, I think spending the last day with them would be very disappointing.

that made me laugh out loud, never a truer word.

Jaie Miller
10-01-2008, 07:03 PM
the answer is nothing...relative would prob all be over watching..agaisnt my wishes..or id go for a walk,write, play piano, i'd prob be feeling mightily enlightened..and i'd arrage a few new lifetimes...tell people how i want our relationship to be etc..not getting drugs, would ruin the day.

STN
12-01-2008, 06:36 PM
In terms of stupid consuption challenges I once drank a gallon of Mountain Dew (why? because my cousin's wife said I couldn't, OK? I showed her etc etc...) Please, all of you, promise me you will never attempt this foolish act.

In terms of my last day, I'd probably spend it going over Niagra falls in a barrel, listening to In A Silent Way and prank calling James Hetfield. I might even have a lager and lime if I were feeling saucy.

Oh yeah, and Kerouac is balls, my dad bought me a book about him for Christmas (here son, you're a teenager, I think...) and that's balls too.

There's a really lovely Bukowski poem about Horses.

mms
12-01-2008, 07:24 PM
i once drank an entire bottle of banana liqueur, a really nasty bottle that had been at the back of the local offy for a bet once, i immediately went and sicked it up else i would have got alcohol poisoning.

i woudn't do that on my last day, i'm not sure, some exotic drugs i imagine.

mistersloane
13-01-2008, 12:41 AM
12 Char Sui Baus. They'd still be my last meal and all, but not 12 of them.

STN"s rolling off Niagra is a great suggestion, that'd be an amazing way to go.

Sick Boy
14-01-2008, 07:16 AM
I would get a bottle of brandy, go directly to a warm beach looking onto an ocean, and spend my last day sitting in the sand, staring out at the water, basking in the ol' oceanic feeling of there being things that are big that we don't understand.

brown neon
14-01-2008, 02:37 PM
i don't know what i'd do, unlikely to be what i planned.

bet you'd get such a rush all day tho!

zhao
14-01-2008, 03:10 PM
I would get a bottle of brandy, go directly to a warm beach looking onto an ocean, and spend my last day sitting in the sand, staring out at the water, basking in the ol' oceanic feeling of there being things that are big that we don't understand.

that sounds pretty good. i might do that too. after the feast and orgy and designer drugs cocktail, that is. :)