the wire versus the wire

blissblogger

Well-known member
i've been knocking about this idea for a while, but parody's not my forte, i can come up with the initial notion but not the follow-through (i started one of them Rhyme Contenders but only got as far as "State your location" , "Eassss (village, that is)"), anyway, i thought it might be a giggle to write up an episode of celebrated cult US cop show The Wire as if it were actually about a small independently owned magazine that specializes in left-field music. I'm handicapped also by only really having watched one episode (can't seem to acquire the taste for it). but it's quite gritty, political, B/W semi handheld if i recall..

so far all i've got is:

Lieutenant Keenan, the rookie investigator whose ideological constructs are often questionable but who always gets results

the inter office romance between plainclothes agent-at-large Young and desk sergeant Hilde-Nesset

ian penman as the bad lieutenant whose badge has been taken away

and half an opening scene:

INTERROGATION ROOM

A young man sits, slightly hunched, at a small wooden table. He looks thirsty, tired, and can't stop himself repeatedly glancing enviously at the cigarette being smoked by the second of two investigators in the room, Stubbs, who's propping himself up menacingly against the far wall, half in shadow. The other detective, Barnes, is lowering a stylus onto a record. Discordant twanging and plucking sounds emerge from the speaker. A middle-aged Englishwoman's voice ululates plaintively. A minute passes. A couple of beads of sweat form on the young man's brow. With a derisive grimace Barnes makes as if to rise and take the stylus off

HEBDEN: no, no, wait a minute, wait a minute, i KNOW this. Is it....... Shirley Collins?

BARNES (snorting): you'll have to do better than that...


and that's as far as i've got ...
 

Diggedy Derek

Stray Dog
Personally I'm waiting for a cop show about a detective who doesn't get many results, but at least always plays it by the book.

Lieutenant- "I'm telling you to drop this damn case!"

Detective- "Fair enough, I've got more than enough paperwork to be getting on with"
 

Clubberlang

Well-known member
blissblogger said:
INTERROGATION ROOM

A young man sits, slightly hunched, at a small wooden table. He looks thirsty, tired, and can't stop himself repeatedly glancing enviously at the cigarette being smoked by the second of two investigators in the room, Stubbs, who's propping himself up menacingly against the far wall, half in shadow. The other detective, Barnes, is lowering a stylus onto a record. Discordant twanging and plucking sounds emerge from the speaker. A middle-aged Englishwoman's voice ululates plaintively. A minute passes. A couple of beads of sweat form on the young man's brow. With a derisive grimace Barnes makes as if to rise and take the stylus off

HEBDEN: no, no, wait a minute, wait a minute, i KNOW this. Is it....... Shirley Collins?

BARNES (snorting): you'll have to do better than that...

Hahaha
 

mms

sometimes
Diggedy Derek said:
Personally I'm waiting for a cop show about a detective who doesn't get many results, but at least always plays it by the book.

Lieutenant- "I'm telling you to drop this damn case!"

Detective- "Fair enough, I've got more than enough paperwork to be getting on with"


did you ever see this beauty?
monk about a detective with ocd?
superb as fucked up as you could get

http://www.thrillingdetective.com/eyes/adrian_monk.html
 

massrock

Well-known member
Has anyone managed to find a copy of this month's Wire in the London area?

Has it sold out because Cope is such a megastar?
 

Diggedy Derek

Stray Dog
If you're having problems finding it in a particular area or whatnot feel free to let me know and I'll see if I can help.

Thanks for bumping this thread – I remember smiling about it at the time (before I worked at The Wire), and I've been looking for it for ages, but I can never get Dissensus's search function to work.
 

scottdisco

rip this joint please
WHSmiths across London generally have it.

i was going to say earlier, Smiths up here across Manchester always seem to have it, too

(i realise Massrock lives in Ldn, more just thinking aloud 'if they have it up here, they're bound to have it in Ldn outlets)
 
Last edited:

massrock

Well-known member
Oh yeah thanks, I was just being impatient, I think it's usually in the shops a bit earlier.

Couldn't find any in West over the weekend but scored one in NW today.
 

mms

sometimes
I'm renewing my subscription when i get down to it, it's been an excellent read lately, best it's been for a while.
 

blackpixie

Well-known member
Personally I'm waiting for a cop show about a detective who doesn't get many results, but at least always plays it by the book.

Lieutenant- "I'm telling you to drop this damn case!"

Detective- "Fair enough, I've got more than enough paperwork to be getting on with"

hahahahahaha
 

paolo

Mechanical phantoms
EDITOR OF THE WIRE - Fuck everything, we're putting Lady Gaga on the front cover

CLAY DAVIS - Sheeeeeeeiiiitttttt
 
Top