Who remembers Wavis O'Shave ?

wavis

Member
Well, I do (seeing as how I am him!) 2005 tells me I am a cult figure! Only, I came across a post not so long ago by Martin who said that my 1979 'Don't crush bees to death with the end of your walking stick' was the best anti-violence song ever. Well done M, it actually was intended as a peace anthem. You also said it was real life, with Asperger precision. Do you know that my family have Aspergers Syndrome?? Anyone else who may remember, or care that matter, about the wavester, catch up by visiting www.dynamitevision.com and peep in the archives/vaults and new rleleases.
Let be hearing from you Mart, and all!
 

martin

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Wow, well hello. What was that casio C&W song you did about the psychopath bus driver with the passenger screaming at him before they crash, and then it all goes well Buddy Holly? That was amazing, but I lost the tape ages ago and can't find anyone who even knows what I'm on about. And no I didn't know about the Asperger's. Are you still playing gigs /recording now?
 

wavis

Member
who remembers wavis o'shave?

Martin! ..so why did you say 'Don't crush bees..' was real life with Asperger precision! What an understatement,matey!
Anyways..send me your email address and I'll see you get a copy of 'You won't catch me on the 503' on cd, plus more. Wavis look after his fans!
Anybody else out there?
 

wavis

Member
who remembers Wavis O'Shave?

....\mart....go to www.dynamitevision.com seek out archives/vaults/new releases...
'Nursery Rhymes of the apocalypse' due out soon..following on the heels of last summers undie/indie hit 'Katie Derham's Bum.."
 

wavis

Member
who remembers Wavis O'Shave?

No siree, young man - Martin has a memory like an elephant with good taste. ..mind, I do concede, If I published my musical memoirs in paperback, you'd all swear it was fiction by page 4..
As for the bloke with mauve shoes - he went to America and got loadsa air play over there, even in 2005! Crazy! The shoes, incidentally, are awful..
Do join in all - all welcome! Mart - get in touch!
 

martin

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I think you must be the first pop star to make it to Dissensus! (well maybe Lady Sovereign was on here once, I can't remember). I just want you all to know that I've given Wavis O' Shave my address - there actually is a real chance he might turn up there tonight with a couple of OAP hostages and barricade himself in the bathroom for 4 months. But Wavis, I can't help notice you're resurrecting the newsreader's bum theme - what do you think of Zina Budawi's?
 

wavis

Member
who remembers Wavis O'Shave?

..I might have to sit on the fence with that one...

I hope you have a strong barricade..
 

wavis

Member
who remembers Wavis O'Shave?

Ok - so if 'Don't crush bees to death with the end of your walking stick' was the best ever anti-violence song, what do we say about 'You think you're a woman cos you don't eat fishcakes' ??
 

martin

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wavis said:
Ok - so if 'Don't crush bees to death with the end of your walking stick' was the best ever anti-violence song, what do we say about 'You think you're a woman cos you don't eat fishcakes' ??

It's obviously a premonition of the rise of the metrosexuals. Men who yearn for a flat stomach, wear their jeans low to expose their belly buttons and spend ages looking at themselves in the mirror, waxing etc. They read their female flatmates' copy of Elle for grooming tips and religiously watch "You Are What You Eat". The idea of eating a greasy fishcake is anathema to them, that belongs to some sort of fascist working class council estate subculture who watch 'Eastenders' and don't like Goldfrapp.

Either that or it's a variation on the old Norwegian folk ballad "Yse Klapp Kipper Sandrestung", in which a woman sells her husband's fishing boat in order to buy herself some earrings. The fisherman curses her and sure enough, she drowns. He then explains that it's unhealthy to get ideas above station and that it's far better to earn a decent living and have a cheap slag for a wife than to ditch the only means of bringing home the, er, fishcakes for a few mere trinkets and the momentary illusion of social status.

am I right?
 

wavis

Member
who remembers Wavis O'Shave?

Er, well,actually no. But you weren't far off (!?). I had a friend once (whospoke like a fig roll, actually. we fell out when he offered me some of his home made Chou Mein but had, unbeknown to me, wiped some of his ear wax onto the fork). Anyway, one day fig was having a toe to toe argument with a female and had resorted to lateral accusations flung at her like ' You shit in my grandads slipper' (which was untrue), and then hit her with the inspiring 'You think you're a woman cos you don"t eat fishcakes' (Unproven) This ,still, has nought to do with the song which highlights the dilemma faced by a character called werejig who rips off a geezer called Pancho selling him a dodgy watchstrap. To be continued.
 

martin

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Wavis, it's funny you mention Chow Mein, I had a delicious Chinese meal in Soho at 5am today, did you know we saw crabs having sex blatantly in a shop window too, a black girl with braces asked us if we fancied a blow job for £30, we politely declined. I'm afraid that I caused a scene in a club when me and my friend Neal challenged two blokes to some sort of breakdance thing, it cost £6.90 for two bottles of Stella - outrageous, now I'm at work and feel like death
 

wavis

Member
who remembers Wavis O'Shave?

Martin - we can't go on meeting like this, my wife will swear we are CIA agents speaking in code. Enjoy the stuff I've sent you - it should be with you soon. Feel free to write a review here,mind, if you like.
Nanoo, Nanoo
ps Now, about Cuba..
 
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