Goody the Musical

matt b

matt b

Indexing all opinion
OMFG:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8014126.stm

"Jade was just an ordinary girl..."

It'll be just like Cats then


"Her dream was as a little girl was to be in a musical, so so obviously when she passed away it felt fitting to do something like this"

She also got pissed and flashed her pubic region.

I is opening a Jade Goody pub and lap dancing club
 
S

Sick Boy

All about pride and egos
What can possibly be said about her in adaptation? Jane Goody's life at most was a testament to how empty a legacy can be and still be a legacy.
 
john eden

john eden

male pale and stale
Act one:
the curtain opens to the interior of a tower block in essex. A hard-faced, yet noble, mother cradles a baby in her arms, musing on the hardships that life has dealt her.

A chorus of chavs enters stage left, singing a song about escaping from the ghetto and/or becoming a princess.

Act two:
A shoddy comprehensive canteen.

Jade is now a teenager who is picked on at school despite her generosity and good humour. After a set to with some bullies (possibly involving a light dusting of violence) Jade's friends encourage her to cheer up by singing a rendition of "When Will I Be Famous" by Bros.
 
matt b

matt b

Indexing all opinion
Act three:

In her first work experience placement, Jade's innate goodness is confused for immense stupidity by the small minded snobs around her. Although given that she has been placed in a travel agents, this is understandable
 
john eden

john eden

male pale and stale
Act four:
Jade is working as a dental nurse, a natural expression of her innate goodness. Her father is a cheery cockney villain with a heart of gold. Jade is sad when he dies of a drugs overdose.

She dreams of a better world, far away from Bermondsey. One day An Important Letter arrives from a television company.
 
matt b

matt b

Indexing all opinion
Act five:

As she enters the Big Brother house, Jade parts the audience outside as if they were water molecules. If you look closely, her feet aren't quite reaching the ground, despite Jade's embarressment at being so good.

Upon walking through the magic doors, through which Jade will leave behind the chrysallis made of items stolen by her mother and spread her glorious wings to start the path to becoming arch deacon the holy essex princess of hearts , the vain self centred fellow contestants immediately spot Jade's Innate Goodness and plan to round on her cruelly, as they must in order to win. Jade is better than that and decides to play along with their plans for now

Music: Kate Lawler scratching pon the decks
 
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D

droid

Guest
matt b said:
Act five:
Music: Kate Lawler scratching pon the decks
Click to expand...

Why stop there? Get the other BB heads in there too... Jonny, PJ, Alex... they'd add an aura of authenticity, it would allow them to repent for their sins against jade, and most importantly - theyd be cheap.
 
D

DannyL

Wild Horses
Act 6

led astray by wicked companions, she erects a burning cross in the garden of the BB house, and calls for Shilpa Shetty to be hung for a tree. The moment she realises how wicked she has been (playbacks with Davina), she is devasted - her inate goodness, floods out, stronger than before.
 
john eden

john eden

male pale and stale
DannyL said:
Act 6

led astray by wicked companions, she erects a burning cross in the garden of the BB house, and calls for Shilpa Shetty to be hung for a tree. The moment she realises how wicked she has been (playbacks with Davina), she is devasted - her inate goodness, floods out, stronger than before.
Click to expand...

Damn straight.

Also scope for a scene in which The Wicked Housemates jibe Jade for her lack of worldliness. This climaxes with Jade good-naturedly mocking both herself and the rest of the house in song:

Jade [speaking]: "Rio De Janeiro - ain't that a person?", East Angular? That's abroad!"

Jade [sings]: East Angular? East Angular!
It makes me feel rectangular!

[chorus} East Angular! East Angular!
Home of the Norwich strangular!
East Angular! East Angular!
The landscape is so bland-ular!
 
D

droid

Guest
I think we're skipping forward a bit here though - the shilpa/burning cross bit would be one of the penultimate acts, followed by her redemptive trip to India and her ascension to heaven.

Might I suggest an extension to your song John?

Jade (spoken): Am I minging big brother?

All (chant): She's Minging, Shes Minging

Jade (bursts into song): Then why do I feel like singing??

All (chant): She had a Veruca and it just didnt suit her

Jade: But they said it was a fungus and Im a bit squeamish

All (chant): Whats Asparagus? Whats Asparagus?

Jade: I don't know about Aspargus, but that's no reason for all this fuss

Harpy Journalists (chant): Kill the pig, kill the pig

Jade: I've learned that banana boats don't come from Kosovo, so why do they all still mock me so?...
 
B

BareBones

wheezy
please someone write a verse about her initially turbulent relationship with Jack whasisface, including a part where, when speaking to his mates, he refers to her as "Cashpoint"
 
B

BareBones

wheezy
Oh! and a bit about her ill-fated London Marathon attempt (collapsing halfway through after a training regime of beer and curry - legend!)
 
matt b

matt b

Indexing all opinion
BareBones said:
please someone write a verse about her initially turbulent relationship with Jack whasisface, including a part where, when speaking to his mates, he refers to her as "Cashpoint"
Click to expand...

What are we, performing fucking monkeys?

We're ARTISTS! This can't be created to order! I need to feel Jade's spirit around me first.
 
john eden

john eden

male pale and stale
Yeah there's a distinct undercurrent of mockery from some people on this thread.

She died of cancer whilst driving really fast to escpae the paparazzi and was a GOOD PERSON. :(
 
matt b

matt b

Indexing all opinion
The cynicism of this board sometimes makes think about the possibility of crying real tears.

Everything Jade did was for the two princes. Don't ever forget that
 
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