It's great when you're straight

I often worry these days about whether or not I should give up weed. It's bad for me in all sorts of ways but it's also (and I know this sounds sort of pathetic) a religious experience for me being stoned sometimes. I see things differently stoned, both more childishly and more profoundly. When doing an MA I had most of my good ideas for essays and what have you when stoned. Visual art and music in particular become more vivid and miraculous to me when stoned. Finally, I write better when I'm stoned. To paraphrase Hemingway 'write stoned; edit sober'.

As for other drugs, I do cocaine a fair amount cos my friends do. It's okay. Pretty pointless though. I love a good hallucinogenic trip from time to time. MDMA is always fun but it's the comedowns that put me off. A nine to five is depressing enough without that to deal with.

I enjoy drinking but it quickly turns sour for me.

I can't imagine anything worse than being fucked up all the time.

Oh our relationship certainly is dysfunctional, just as soon as I don't have a book or a film or music or whatever to contemplate. When I'm lying in the dark for example, trying to go to sleep.

I like getting a bit stoned and walking around London. Again, the huge buildings become miraculous and strange. The 'ordinary' becomes extraordinary. I'm being a bit over the top, I suppose, but it recently occurred to me that that I probably won't stop doing it for a long time. Although every night is too much. You've got to ration out the eternal.

luka said:

I prefer being straight I think. Us '90s people grew up thinking we had to be fucked up every day. It's hard for us to learn how to live straight. Mind you, I owe drugs a lot. They definitely make you more intelligent and cultivated.

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Isn't it boring?

I think i'll go with only drinking and taking drugs in the summer. I found it impossible in winter because of lack of daylight.

luka said:

I've downloaded about 40 gb of music in the last week. And I've seen every meme.

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...because you stopped smoking weed?

luka said:

I stopped smoking weed years ago and replaced it with alcohol. I've stopped drinking

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ah, that makes more sense. Did you find quitting smoking weed easy?

Barring the odd day off I smoke weed and drink every day, have done for the last 15 years or so. I can see myself giving up weed, at least, within the next couple of years or so - ie; when I've got a job with more regular hours and responsibilities. But for that to realistically happen I'll have to give up tobacco competely I think. Whenever I've had time off smoking weed I've felt more stoned than when I was smoking it! And I turn into an insufferably grumpy, hyper-sensitive bastard, though I guess (I hope) this wears off pretty quickly after a couple of weeks. The main 2 reasons why I want to give up in the near future are to set a better example to my son and a fear of lung cancer tbh - otherwise I'm fairly guilt free for the moment, lol!

I definitely strongly associated getting stoned with enjoying music from an early age, which is probably the main reason why I've never given up. Bit silly really...

One thing I'm much happier to have stopped is binge drinking, which fucks you up the most I reckon. Since I started living in Spain where there are 3-4 bars on every street and good weather, I'll go out and have 2 or three beers every night, or when I stay in I'll have a couple of glasses of red. but I definitely don't miss the days of not drinking during the week, then going out every weekend and drinking heavily 2 nights on the trot and feeling like shit for the rest of the week - much better to space it out.

I'm currently having a crafty bifter and a glass of rioja and listening to E2-E4 on headphones while my son's having a siesta. This is the life!

luka said:

I only stopped because I stopped enjoying it, although I carried on for years after it had become a chore. I found I had to give up multiple times before it stuck. The first time was very difficult. Each time the withdrawal is easier. Everyone gets moody when they stop. You just have to stick with it. Hope you don't alienate the people around you permanently.

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Well that's encouraging, thank you.

So much has to do with the context. When I went back to England last summer for a month I didn't smoke weed for the whole time and didn't even think about it because I was out of the daily routine, it was easy. Maybe next summer I'll do the same then just stop for good.

[QUOTE fear of lung cancer.[/QUOTE]

Vape.

One thing about weed is that I think people smoke too much (myself included).

If I have one or two tokes of a spliff I can be stoned for five/six hours afterwards. But ordinarily, of course, I smoke a whole spliff, and then I'm unable to sleep.

It's so powerful these days, perhaps that's the issue.

It can be pretty strong, that's not really arguable. Good hash is much nicer than skunk but of course you have to know someone who sells the stuff.