entertainment
Well-known member
a small collection of odd headlines from the peculiar world of football:
"Zlatan Ibrahimovic Apologises for Calling France a Shit Country"
"Lukaku looking at 3-match ban over Bong hits" (hits on a player called Bong)
"New Bayern coach Heynckes at press conference: "My daughter and my wife advised me on my decision. Then my dog Cando barked twice and the deal was sealed."
"Asamoah Gyan denies murdering rapper in alleged human sacrifice"
"Lazio fans take revenge on referee Piero Giacomelli by downvoting his cafe on TripAdvisor"
"Dele Adebola: I do not have Ebola"
"Kurt Zouma banned from Manchester United star Paul Pogba’s house over furious game of Uno"
"Isaac Success was arrested following the Southampton game after an argument with four prostitutes in a hotel. He refused to pay them as he could not get it up after drinking two bottles of Baileys"
"Harry Redknapp says he wants to sign Benoit Assou-Ekotto for Birmingham City, but the player wishes to be a pornstar"
"Burnley boss Sean Dyche has a gravel voice because he eats worms says former team mate"
"Sean Dyche: "I don't eat worms and I never have."
"Balotelli is very nice, but he used to pee on our boots - Kerlon"
"Bryan Cabezas' transfer to Independiente falls through after his name is accidentally translated to ''Bryan Heads'' on the English version of the contract"
'I don't want a minute's silence when I die. I'd like a full minute of chanting "Warnock is a wanker"
"Former England footballer David Batty took two of his severed fingertips to show and tell at school and was awarded a Mars bar."
"Zlatan Ibrahimovic Apologises for Calling France a Shit Country"
"Lukaku looking at 3-match ban over Bong hits" (hits on a player called Bong)
"New Bayern coach Heynckes at press conference: "My daughter and my wife advised me on my decision. Then my dog Cando barked twice and the deal was sealed."
"Asamoah Gyan denies murdering rapper in alleged human sacrifice"
"Lazio fans take revenge on referee Piero Giacomelli by downvoting his cafe on TripAdvisor"
"Dele Adebola: I do not have Ebola"
"Kurt Zouma banned from Manchester United star Paul Pogba’s house over furious game of Uno"
"Isaac Success was arrested following the Southampton game after an argument with four prostitutes in a hotel. He refused to pay them as he could not get it up after drinking two bottles of Baileys"
"Harry Redknapp says he wants to sign Benoit Assou-Ekotto for Birmingham City, but the player wishes to be a pornstar"
"Burnley boss Sean Dyche has a gravel voice because he eats worms says former team mate"
"Sean Dyche: "I don't eat worms and I never have."
"Balotelli is very nice, but he used to pee on our boots - Kerlon"
"Bryan Cabezas' transfer to Independiente falls through after his name is accidentally translated to ''Bryan Heads'' on the English version of the contract"
'I don't want a minute's silence when I die. I'd like a full minute of chanting "Warnock is a wanker"
"Former England footballer David Batty took two of his severed fingertips to show and tell at school and was awarded a Mars bar."