These last times, I told you a number of Russian jokes.
What I will tell in this answer is not a joke. It is absolutely serious. But it will sound as a joke. Be ready.
When I was a kid, Britain (sorry, Scots and Welsh, we the Russians call it Angliya, England) was seen as a land of gentlemen who drink tea with milk at five o’clock and play soccer. And, of course, the land of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.
[photo of two Russian actors playing Holmes and Watson]
Russian Dr. Watson and Sherlock Holmes as played by Vitali Solomin and Vasily Livanov. Russians are fiercely proud of them. Livanov has even been awarded the Order of the British Empire for his performance.
However, since the beginning of the 2000s a new perception of Britain emerged, thanks to the Russian nationalist philosopher and blogger Dmitry Galkovsky.
[photo of Galkovsky]
Dmitry Galkovsky declared that Britain is one of the three world powers of the last century, two others being US and the alliance of France and Germany. All other countries in the world are dependent on the said three. Some of them are cryptocolonies. For instance, Russia, China and India are British cryptocolonies. [emphasis in original]
It all started in the 19th century, says Galkovsky. The First International took place in London because it was controlled by British authorities. Indeed, the whole Socialist and later Communist movement was inspired and controlled by the British (though the German government has managed to take its Socialists under control in the end of the 19th century). Most Communist and post-Communist countries therefore were and are British puppets, and they oppose the USA simply because Her Majesty the Queen says so.
[Lenin, Stalin, Mao etc.]
Some of the British stooges according to Galkovsky
The US is the only great enemy of Britain and the only real rivalry in the world is between the US and the UK. The WW2 was expected to take place between these two powers and it was only thanks to British astuteness that the two countries were nominally allies.
In other words, in Galkovsky’s conspiracy theory British are real masters of most of the world, the puppeteers behind many political figures and the real perpetrators of most world atrocities. Soviet Union was their nuclear platform used to blackmail the hegemonic USA. The theory was developed by another superpopular Russian blogger known as Bohemicus. According to him, Russia is the ‘continental spade’ of Britain and most Russian wars were fought in British interests including the ongoing war in Syria in support of the London-educated Assad, another British agent.
Both Galkovsky and Bohemicus are very well-educated people. I am not sure if they believe themselves in their theory. It could be just an intellectual game, destined to show some deficiencies of the Soviet Union (both bloggers are vehemently anti-Soviet) and to excuse Soviet atrocities as caused by perfidious foreigners. However, the theory mesmerized many of their readers and firmly took root in the Russian nationalist blogosphere. And some people - they are only few, of course, but quite present in Runet - surely see Britain as a nation of Illuminati.
Once you adopt this theory, many things will start making sense to you. Why did Khrushchev, Andropov, Gorbachev, Yeltsin, Putin always start their foreign visits with Britain? Why do Russian and Indian millionaires prefer to go to London? Why are many Russian firms registered in Cyprus, British Virgin Islands, or Gibraltar?
[QEII]
Putin, Modi and the Chinese Politburo are obedient to this lady. And all the European monarchies. And all the heads of Commonwealth countries. And her main goal is to destroy the USA. Breathtaking, isn’t it?