Pointless But It Does My Head In
Toilets are a very strange and uncomfortable place in offices. Has anyone noticed how if someone is taking a shit they will not under any circumstances come out of the stall until the room is completely empty? It's amazing how long they will lock themselves in there for. I know because bouts of intense boredom have motivated me put it to the test.
grizzleb
Well-known member
There was a boy in my old work (a strange cunt in a number of ways) who used to feel entirely comfortable instigating a bit of small talk whilst both parties were on the shitter. I was on a floor in which the toilets only consisted of 2 adjacent cubicles, so it would be pretty uncomfortable having to try and force some chat to this guy whilst also trying to force out a shite. This guy would also make great, rasping farting noises as he done his business which he would then proceed to laugh at, uncontrollabley, at great volume. You could hear his manic chuckling outside of the toilets sitting at your deck.
The same man once told me (in the toilets) that he 'got into a bit of a scrape at the weekend' when he was asked to look after his mothers many cats. One of them ended up attacking him (for whatever reason) and he then proceeded to 'batter it'.
The ladies in the office weren't too happy with him. I wouldn't have told anyone if I was him. I actually felt a bit sorry for the nutcase.
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baboon2004
Darned cockwombles.
More from work:
Having to induct someone to the point where you're having to explain very basic computer/other processes to them (or slightly less basic ones, that you have worked out yourself with no help through the magic of initiative), thus ensuring that you're virtually doing their job for them at the same time. Ffs.
Having to induct someone to the point where you're having to explain very basic computer/other processes to them (or slightly less basic ones, that you have worked out yourself with no help through the magic of initiative), thus ensuring that you're virtually doing their job for them at the same time. Ffs.
Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
Oh jesus, as if guys who initiate banter while you're trying to piss aren't bad enough!
sufi
lala
even worse when it's someone over the age of 42 who complain 'you're doing it to quickly, all i you do is go boom boom boom, and its done, you need to show me' when you done it at an acceptable speed. I have some patience for this, but don't push it.
hahaha that's amazing.
Seriously though, this is why I don't shit at work. I'm uncomfortable enough as it is being around people this wound up, resentful and repressed, let alone having to shit a few feet away from one of them. It's like the aforementioned lift conversation taken to dizzying new heights of awkwardness.
Yeah, it's endemic in publishing agencies (almost always perpetuated by people who are shit at their jobs).
And of course the 11, the most heinous toilet crime of all, the urinal poo.
STN
sou'wester
probably a 2 or 3, a vienetta; i.e. loads of layers of shit and bogroll
only this year i am ashamed to admit that i was so hungover in work i tried to sleep on the cubicle floor on lunch.
the lowest point of my life yet
swears
preppy-kei
This is what work toilets are for. You can snooze away a whole afternoon sitting on the bog lid with a roll of paper behind your head.
scottdisco
rip this joint please
wasting the bosses' coin as you go for a nice big dump is a glorious thing.
cracking grading of toilet crimes from Martin there, i've done a 5 in Keele uni library bogs before now once or twice.
cracking grading of toilet crimes from Martin there, i've done a 5 in Keele uni library bogs before now once or twice.
Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
I've tried this but we've just had those bastard Dyson 'air blade' driers installed, which in fairness dry your hands pretty sharpish but are also roughly as loud as the engines on a space shuttle, which doesn't make for good sleepytimes.
I also note (Scott!) that this thread has very rapidly become quite confessional...
Heh, I used to work in a big company that had a whole lot of sliding compactus shelving, with a gap between the shelves and the wall. People would figure out which ones were hardly touched and slide enough down one end so they could kip behind them.