Harambe's Law

[Woebot]

All this stuff about 'our closest relatives' and '98% identical genes' is just a load of garbage, IMO. I'd say it's more like 32%.

at the best of times it's a profoundly misleading statistic. (not strictly accurate but you get my gist) we share 97% of our dna with vegetables.

@droid. don't encourage him you soppy bastard.

[Mr. Tea]

Human and yeast DNA is 70% the same...

...yet white English people share just 40% of their DNA with the French, 26% with Germans, 11% with Danes and 9% with Belgians.

Pretty clear-cut case for Brexit if you ask me. Or at least, closer political integration with unicellular fungi.

[droid]

[droid]

He has a point though, Dave Soldier's Elephant Orchestra has done a lot more for music than any ape.



I think John Eden went to see them at Cafe OTO recently.

[Mr. Tea]

'Thai Elephant Orchestra' also happens to be my favourite Fall song.

[droid]

I played one of their tunes out at a gig years ago.

Nobody noticed.

[martin]

Sorry - I try not to post on Dissensus any more as I never paid a penny towards the server and I feel like a lodger who's 3 years behind on rent scoffing the corn flakes while my disgruntled landlord Woebot slams cupboard doors and tuts at the dribble of milk left in the fridge - but I have to take issue with this fucking dreadful poem:

There was a boy whose name was Jim
His friends were very good to him
They gave him tea and cakes and jam
And slices of delicious ham
And chocolate with pink inside
And little tricycles to ride
They read him stories through and through
And even took him to the zoo

If his friends are providing all his food and reading him stories, what exactly are his parents doing? We find out later they're well-off enough to employ a 'nurse' but apparently he has to rely on other brats for food. Surely it's their parents who feed him? And if that's his typical lunch, I'd be amazed if he could fit on a "little tricycle".


You know (at least you ought to know
For I have often told you so)
That children never are allowed
To leave their nurses in a crowd

The author hasn't 'told us so' once, so far it's just been a list of food. I thought his 'friends' took him to the zoo? But now he's with his 'nurse'.

Now this was Jim's especial foible
He ran away when he was able

You thought 'antichrist / anarchist' was bad

And on this inauspicious day
He slipped his hand and ran away
He hadn't gone a yard when BANG
With open jaws a lion sprang

A yard's less than a metre, so presumably he's still 'in a crowd' and his nurse is in danger too, meaning the lion's obviously escaped from its enclosure. In which case, clinging to the nurse - or is it his feeder friends? - wouldn't make much of a difference. So is this a rant about badly behaved kids or badly maintained zoos?

"Ponto," he said with angry frown
"Down sir, let go, put it down!"
The lion made a sudden stop
He let the dainty morsel drop
And slunk reluctant to his cage
Snarling with disappointed rage


Right, the lion goes mental and springs into a crowd (even though a pair of Masai warriors walking towards a pride scares the shit out of them) but obeys an elderly fat man.

His mother as she dried her eyes
Said "It gives me no surprise
He would not do as he was told."

Child acts like child, ie, runs around a lot.
Is effectively beheaded by unrestrained wild beast in 'safe' public area.
"It gives me no surprise"

What a load of fucking shit.

[Mr. Tea]

Martin, I think I love you.

[sufi]

Sorry - I try not to post on Dissensus any more as I never paid a penny towards the server

Don't worry about that I moved the server over to somewhere cheaper a couple of years back.

[Mr. Tea]

Oh. Can I have that twenty quid back then?

[Woebot]

i'll bet you a new plastic fiver that that woman was checking her facebook account when her child clambered in there.

anyway - far be it for me to cast the first stone - BUT, and this is if i was in the parents shoes myself, i accept that it was necessary that the gorilla was killed and i'm glad that the child is fine but that doesn't alter in any way that the parents were 100% responsible for that gorilla's death.

[sufi]

Oh. Can I have that twenty quid back then?

That was in about 2012 i think dude, so i reckon you're a bit behind on your payments actually

[Mr. Tea]

That was in about 2012 i think dude, so i reckon you're a bit behind on your payments actually

Gah! Well I'll cough up next time there's a whip-round. I might even have a proper job by then.