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Thread: Now That's What I CalL Music! 94

  1. #1
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    Default Now That's What I CalL Music! 94

    In a bygone age this thread would be inexcusable but nobody else is posting so I might as well, eh?



    A potentially quickly aborted (there's 42 songs FFS) exploration of just what it is that a lot of people call Music these days (or 'NOW').

    01. Calvin Harris This Is What You Came For (feat. Rihanna)

    I hate Calvin Harris on principle, so I'm annoyed to find myself liking this. It's totally conventional tropical beach house but it glistens like the Mediterranean sun on the surface of an azure ocean.This is the template Diplo/Major Lazer etc. have established: the soaring, beatless breakdowns, the riffy hooks with cut-up vocals, etc. To be alive and listening to this is not unpleasant but to be young would be very heaven.

    02. Justin Timberlake Can't Stop The Feeling! (from 'TROLLSą)

    Cheesy Bruno Mars disco bilge. I'm a fan of Timberlake's Timbaland/Neptunes era stuff but this is proper disposable, not-even-sub-Michael-Jackson fare that I'm forgetting even as I listen to it.

    03. Kungs vs. Cookin' On 3 Burners This Girl

    I mean, modern pop music is pretty sophisticated in a way - perhaps TOO sophisticated? All these EDM derived drum fills and filters, the purely instrumental riff-hooks, the filtered samples, and everything structured complicatedly. Somehow it seems totally soulless and contrived, perhaps as a consequence of this over-complicated structuring, you can sort of sense the committee of songwriters behind it, all sticking their oar in. The vocals are also drowning in reverb, rendered more-than and less-than human simultaneously. There's no sense of a personality at work. The crowd is at work, which is how it's precision engineered for mass singalongs.

    04. Sia feat. Sean Paul Cheap Thrills

    Vaguely tropical rhythm = get Sean Paul in! He's just there to go 'baddabyebye' and stuff like that. And to pronounce 'Pearls' 'PORLS'. It's a long way from 'Gimme the Light'. I like how they've stuck the crowd of kids(?) screaming 'We've got cheap thrills!' in (ala 'HEY! TEACHER!'). That's the kind of fairly ballsy touch that these mega hits can incorporate seamlessly. That's the interesting thing about these songs, so far - it's hard to say what genre they belong to. As if Pop is itself a distinctive genre these days. One that takes in dancehall, EDM, disco etc.

    05. Fifth Harmony feat. Ty Dolla $ign Work From Home

    That island riddim again, albeit sounding like a Samsung ringtone. Bit of a snappy, hint of DJ Mustard to this... Oh wait, it IS DJ Mustard. Should have known from the thumb snaps! It's funny cos change this from major to minor key and it could be a YG beat. 'WORK WORK WORK WORK' goes the hook, like most pop hooks these days. Somebody get K Punk or Reynolds to write an essay on why all our play music has the word WORK in it these days. This is just making me want to listen to 'LOYAL' which is a hundred times better. Mustard has sort of disappeared from rap and RNB lately. Presumably partly cos he can now get paid a gajillion quid for stuff like this. Clever dude.

    06. DNCE Cake By The Ocean

    07. Clean Bandit feat. Louisa Johnson Tears

    08. Little Mix feat. Sean Paul Hair

    09. The Chainsmokers feat. Daya Don't Let Me Down

    10. Justin Bieber Company

    11. Calum Scott Dancing On My Own

    12. P!nk Just Like Fire (from 'Alice Through The Looking Glassą)

    13. Ariana Grande Dangerous Woman

    14. Nick Jonas feat. Tove Lo Close

    15. Meghan Trainor NO

    16. Shawn Mendes Treat You Better

    17. Years & Years feat. Tove Lo Desire

    18. Sigma feat. Take That Cry

    19. Bastille Good Grief

    20. Viola Beach Boys That Sing
    21. Coldplay Up&Up
    22. gnash feat. olivia o'brien i hate u, i love u
    23. Drake Hotline Bling
    24. Galantis No Money
    25. DJ Snake feat. Bipolar Sunshine Middle
    26. Desiigner Panda
    27. Kent Jones Don't Mind
    28. Cheat Codes x Kris Kross Amsterdam Sex
    29. Sigala feat. Imani Williams & DJ Fresh Say You Do
    30. Blonde & Craig David Nothing Like This
    31. Charlie Puth feat. Selena Gomez We Don't Talk Anymore
    32. Ariana Grande Into You
    33. David Guetta feat. Zara Larsson This One's For You
    34. Jonas Blue feat. JP Cooper Perfect Strangers
    35. Dua Lipa Hotter Than Hell
    36. Kygo feat. Kodaline Raging
    37. Selena Gomez Kill Em With Kindness
    38. will.i.am feat. Pia Mia Boys & Girls
    39. Reggie 'N' Bollie New Girl
    40. Tinie Tempah feat. Wizkid Mamacita
    41. Craig David One More Time
    42. Sigala feat. John Newman & Nile Rodgers Give Me Your Love
    Last edited by Corpsey; 12-08-2016 at 02:15 PM.

  2. #2
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    Keep jumping in and out of this to listen to a quarterly report at work that I have to transcribe and it's like standing in a warm pool throwing a beach ball about and then getting dashed in the face with cold water. The glorious, unreal hedonism of 21st century pop. As unreal as Bop!

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    My visual reference point for all this stuff is Spring Breakers



    Although actually of course it's all aimed at schoolkids and teenagers.

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    35 views.

    I can only offer my sincere apologies.

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    The Fifth Harmony song isn't DJ Mustard, it's Ammo who's one of the producers under Doctor Luke along with Benny Blanco, who's also doing a lot of the production on this LP.

    Also confused why 'fun', 'pleasure' and 'celebration' translates to 'hedonism' on Dissensus. Have we all taken the opus dei vow? When we go to the beach to dive into the sea, are the rest of the passerbys too oblivious in their wasted state of mind to note the lashes on our back of those who've committed ourselves to a life of deeper meaning? Dost the salt of thee oceanic flirtations lance and sting our wounds in our heart?

    Anyway I hate being reminded that Shawn Mendes exists he really can't fucking sing but he's got that fucking Ed Sheeran "real music pop" vibe going for him in the US so everyone puts their blinders on. I hate people who love 'real music', its terrifying.

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    I know you were joking but that's how I feel at the beach, yes.

    Hedonism is a word that I throw around on here as readily as hauntology and continuum. It's the Dissensian equivalent of a beach ball.

    Also, is this just me being a Dissensian or is there something that really ISN'T 'fun' and 'celebratory' about this expensively manufactured pop music? I know that's what it's INTENDED to be, but I can't help but hear it as somehow synthetic, empty and joyless. It's as difficult to conclusively read as a Taylor Swift smile.

    Sort of like Disney land. All the staff members smile, but they'll probably be disappeared if they don't.

    I wish I had the strength to go on, or - more to the point - a private blog to go on and on and on

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    Quote Originally Posted by CrowleyHead View Post

    Also confused why 'fun', 'pleasure' and 'celebration' translates to 'hedonism' on Dissensus. Have we all taken the opus dei vow? When we go to the beach to dive into the sea, are the rest of the passerbys too oblivious in their wasted state of mind to note the lashes on our back of those who've committed ourselves to a life of deeper meaning? Dost the salt of thee oceanic flirtations lance and sting our wounds in our heart?
    BTW this was very funny and on point.

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    N.B. I love the title 'Now that's what I call music!', especially cos it's the type of thing somebody who listens to Oasis or Can might say, but less so somebody who listens to Calvin Harris and Will I Am.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Corpsey View Post
    I know you were joking but that's how I feel at the beach, yes.

    Hedonism is a word that I throw around on here as readily as hauntology and continuum. It's the Dissensian equivalent of a beach ball.

    Also, is this just me being a Dissensian or is there something that really ISN'T 'fun' and 'celebratory' about this expensively manufactured pop music? I know that's what it's INTENDED to be, but I can't help but hear it as somehow synthetic, empty and joyless. It's as difficult to conclusively read as a Taylor Swift smile.

    Sort of like Disney land. All the staff members smile, but they'll probably be disappeared if they don't.

    I wish I had the strength to go on, or - more to the point - a private blog to go on and on and on
    this is funny and good

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