Now That's What I CalL Music! 94

Corpsey

bandz ahoy
In a bygone age this thread would be inexcusable but nobody else is posting so I might as well, eh?

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A potentially quickly aborted (there's 42 songs FFS) exploration of just what it is that a lot of people call Music these days (or 'NOW').

01. Calvin Harris This Is What You Came For (feat. Rihanna)

I hate Calvin Harris on principle, so I'm annoyed to find myself liking this. It's totally conventional tropical beach house but it glistens like the Mediterranean sun on the surface of an azure ocean.This is the template Diplo/Major Lazer etc. have established: the soaring, beatless breakdowns, the riffy hooks with cut-up vocals, etc. To be alive and listening to this is not unpleasant but to be young would be very heaven.

02. Justin Timberlake Can't Stop The Feeling! (from 'TROLLS¹)

Cheesy Bruno Mars disco bilge. I'm a fan of Timberlake's Timbaland/Neptunes era stuff but this is proper disposable, not-even-sub-Michael-Jackson fare that I'm forgetting even as I listen to it.

03. Kungs vs. Cookin' On 3 Burners This Girl

I mean, modern pop music is pretty sophisticated in a way - perhaps TOO sophisticated? All these EDM derived drum fills and filters, the purely instrumental riff-hooks, the filtered samples, and everything structured complicatedly. Somehow it seems totally soulless and contrived, perhaps as a consequence of this over-complicated structuring, you can sort of sense the committee of songwriters behind it, all sticking their oar in. The vocals are also drowning in reverb, rendered more-than and less-than human simultaneously. There's no sense of a personality at work. The crowd is at work, which is how it's precision engineered for mass singalongs.

04. Sia feat. Sean Paul Cheap Thrills

Vaguely tropical rhythm = get Sean Paul in! He's just there to go 'baddabyebye' and stuff like that. And to pronounce 'Pearls' 'PORLS'. It's a long way from 'Gimme the Light'. I like how they've stuck the crowd of kids(?) screaming 'We've got cheap thrills!' in (ala 'HEY! TEACHER!'). That's the kind of fairly ballsy touch that these mega hits can incorporate seamlessly. That's the interesting thing about these songs, so far - it's hard to say what genre they belong to. As if Pop is itself a distinctive genre these days. One that takes in dancehall, EDM, disco etc.

05. Fifth Harmony feat. Ty Dolla $ign Work From Home

That island riddim again, albeit sounding like a Samsung ringtone. Bit of a snappy, hint of DJ Mustard to this... Oh wait, it IS DJ Mustard. Should have known from the thumb snaps! It's funny cos change this from major to minor key and it could be a YG beat. 'WORK WORK WORK WORK' goes the hook, like most pop hooks these days. Somebody get K Punk or Reynolds to write an essay on why all our play music has the word WORK in it these days. This is just making me want to listen to 'LOYAL' which is a hundred times better. Mustard has sort of disappeared from rap and RNB lately. Presumably partly cos he can now get paid a gajillion quid for stuff like this. Clever dude.

06. DNCE Cake By The Ocean

07. Clean Bandit feat. Louisa Johnson Tears

08. Little Mix feat. Sean Paul Hair

09. The Chainsmokers feat. Daya Don't Let Me Down

10. Justin Bieber Company

11. Calum Scott Dancing On My Own

12. P!nk Just Like Fire (from 'Alice Through The Looking Glass¹)

13. Ariana Grande Dangerous Woman

14. Nick Jonas feat. Tove Lo Close

15. Meghan Trainor NO

16. Shawn Mendes Treat You Better

17. Years & Years feat. Tove Lo Desire

18. Sigma feat. Take That Cry

19. Bastille Good Grief

20. Viola Beach Boys That Sing
21. Coldplay Up&Up
22. gnash feat. olivia o'brien i hate u, i love u
23. Drake Hotline Bling
24. Galantis No Money
25. DJ Snake feat. Bipolar Sunshine Middle
26. Desiigner Panda
27. Kent Jones Don't Mind
28. Cheat Codes x Kris Kross Amsterdam Sex
29. Sigala feat. Imani Williams & DJ Fresh Say You Do
30. Blonde & Craig David Nothing Like This
31. Charlie Puth feat. Selena Gomez We Don't Talk Anymore
32. Ariana Grande Into You
33. David Guetta feat. Zara Larsson This One's For You
34. Jonas Blue feat. JP Cooper Perfect Strangers
35. Dua Lipa Hotter Than Hell
36. Kygo feat. Kodaline Raging
37. Selena Gomez Kill Em With Kindness
38. will.i.am feat. Pia Mia Boys & Girls
39. Reggie 'N' Bollie New Girl
40. Tinie Tempah feat. Wizkid Mamacita
41. Craig David One More Time
42. Sigala feat. John Newman & Nile Rodgers Give Me Your Love
 
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Corpsey

bandz ahoy
Keep jumping in and out of this to listen to a quarterly report at work that I have to transcribe and it's like standing in a warm pool throwing a beach ball about and then getting dashed in the face with cold water. The glorious, unreal hedonism of 21st century pop. As unreal as Bop!
 

Corpsey

bandz ahoy
My visual reference point for all this stuff is Spring Breakers


Although actually of course it's all aimed at schoolkids and teenagers.
 

CrowleyHead

Well-known member
The Fifth Harmony song isn't DJ Mustard, it's Ammo who's one of the producers under Doctor Luke along with Benny Blanco, who's also doing a lot of the production on this LP.

Also confused why 'fun', 'pleasure' and 'celebration' translates to 'hedonism' on Dissensus. Have we all taken the opus dei vow? When we go to the beach to dive into the sea, are the rest of the passerbys too oblivious in their wasted state of mind to note the lashes on our back of those who've committed ourselves to a life of deeper meaning? Dost the salt of thee oceanic flirtations lance and sting our wounds in our heart?

Anyway I hate being reminded that Shawn Mendes exists he really can't fucking sing but he's got that fucking Ed Sheeran "real music pop" vibe going for him in the US so everyone puts their blinders on. I hate people who love 'real music', its terrifying.
 

Corpsey

bandz ahoy
I know you were joking but that's how I feel at the beach, yes.

Hedonism is a word that I throw around on here as readily as hauntology and continuum. It's the Dissensian equivalent of a beach ball.

Also, is this just me being a Dissensian or is there something that really ISN'T 'fun' and 'celebratory' about this expensively manufactured pop music? I know that's what it's INTENDED to be, but I can't help but hear it as somehow synthetic, empty and joyless. It's as difficult to conclusively read as a Taylor Swift smile.

Sort of like Disney land. All the staff members smile, but they'll probably be disappeared if they don't.

I wish I had the strength to go on, or - more to the point - a private blog to go on and on and on
 

Corpsey

bandz ahoy
Also confused why 'fun', 'pleasure' and 'celebration' translates to 'hedonism' on Dissensus. Have we all taken the opus dei vow? When we go to the beach to dive into the sea, are the rest of the passerbys too oblivious in their wasted state of mind to note the lashes on our back of those who've committed ourselves to a life of deeper meaning? Dost the salt of thee oceanic flirtations lance and sting our wounds in our heart?

BTW this was very funny and on point.
 

Corpsey

bandz ahoy
N.B. I love the title 'Now that's what I call music!', especially cos it's the type of thing somebody who listens to Oasis or Can might say, but less so somebody who listens to Calvin Harris and Will I Am.
 

luka

Well-known member
I know you were joking but that's how I feel at the beach, yes.

Hedonism is a word that I throw around on here as readily as hauntology and continuum. It's the Dissensian equivalent of a beach ball.

Also, is this just me being a Dissensian or is there something that really ISN'T 'fun' and 'celebratory' about this expensively manufactured pop music? I know that's what it's INTENDED to be, but I can't help but hear it as somehow synthetic, empty and joyless. It's as difficult to conclusively read as a Taylor Swift smile.

Sort of like Disney land. All the staff members smile, but they'll probably be disappeared if they don't.

I wish I had the strength to go on, or - more to the point - a private blog to go on and on and on

this is funny and good
 
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