How angry are you with your mum and dad still

CrowleyHead

Well-known member
Not for nothing, the contents of this thread are better than the title initially had me expecting.

All I'm disclosing is I'm in my late 20s so take from that what you will |0|
 

droid

Well-known member
Anyone still angry at their parents after 30 without good reason is trapped in adolescent thought patterns.

The cure is to have children, you then start wondering if your parents are still angry at you.
 

droid

Well-known member
If you cant or dont want to have kids, watching a few close friends/family die should also do the trick.
 

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
?

can't tell if you're taking the piss or being serious. I have to presume it's the former.
 
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droid

Well-known member
I am serious. Unless youve been the victim of actual abuse of some kind then the assumption that everyone must automatically be angry at their parents... Its just asnine.
 

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
Christ, you are serious.

1/ Don't call other people 'asinine', especially on such subjects as this. It makes you look like a conceited twat, especially when you're obviously devoted so little thought to this issue.

2/ No-one was talking about being 'automatically' angry with parents, whatever that word could mean in this context. Rather, that a lot of parents aren't good enough.

3/ You seem to be defining when it is 'appropriate' feel angry by employing very vague terms - 'without good reason', 'victim of actual abuse of some kind'. If someone feels angry at their parents, then you should believe that they have good reason to be. Emotions are not a choice. What to do with them, is.

4/ As for 'the cure is to have children' - not if you're going to deny your own feelings/pretend they're not appropriate and suppress them because, believe me, you will pass it on to your own children if you do that. And that constitutes abusive behaviour in many cases.

5/ "If you cant or dont want to have kids, watching a few close friends/family die should also do the trick." Cos no-one who's angry at their parents has ever also seen people die, right? This is, again, a stupid comment.

6/ I'm outta here. Well done for your extraordinary empathy-free contribution to this thread.
 
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baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
Are you really that much of an arsehole, or just too cowardly to admit that your comments were ill-judged?
 

droid

Well-known member
Not really sure how to engage with such a remarkable level of self serving distortion and furious misreading.

I didnt call anyone asnine, I said the assumption that everyone must be angry at their parents was asnine, the assumption that is written into the very thread title and an assumption that you have repeated in the starkest terms. Apparently anyone who doesnt feel this way is a psychopath or 'repressed' in some way. You literally said:

people who aren't angry with their parents are either... psychopathically in denial

Im not defining the criteria for 'anger'. The thread doesnt ask 'do you feel angry', it asks 'how angry are you?' and Im suggesting that a bit of perspective does wonders for the 'normal' (again defined in the context that it is abnormal NOT to be angry) levels of resentment and anger in the parent/child relationship.
 

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
Engage by employing a bit of reading comprehension (maybe reading between the lines) and a bit of empathy. Rather than relentlessly trying to win the argument like some kind of robot.

I am definitely out of here.
 

luka

Well-known member
Most angry man on dissensus gets really angry explaining how he's not angry, ever, with anyone and least of all with his dear sainted parents.
 

john eden

male pale and stale
It is undeniable that a lot of people feel more empathy for their parents as they get older though. And that a large number of the ones that don't are filled with regret after their parents die.

I'm not telling anyone how they should feel, but Droid is right that the framing of this thread is unhelpful. It simply isn't the case that feeling angry with your parents is a natural thing. Are we really saying that this is something that the majority of people have felt, across time and across different human cultures?
 

luka

Well-known member
Don't worry John. If you don't have any problems why think about it? Same with droid. Why the need to keep picking at the scab. Lots of other threads to engage with.
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
I am serious. Unless youve been the victim of actual abuse of some kind then the assumption that everyone must automatically be angry at their parents... Its just asnine.

Right. But why is that an exclusively "middle-class" thing?
 

john eden

male pale and stale
I think people are avoiding mentioning why they are personally angry with their parents, which is completely understandable and I wouldn't really want to get into that here. But it does make for a bit of an abstract conversation.

Would it be more useful to broaden the discussion out into what parenting is, or could be?

My parents were quite strict and uptight and I think I have warmed to them more as I have got to know them better as people (rather than someone trapped in a role) and they have relaxed a bit and been able to say that being a parent was quite hard and that they made mistakes etc.

I think this is one of the problems at the heart of the nuclear family, but I am by no means advocating some hippy shit in the here and now as an alternative as people I know brought up in situations like that seem even more screwed up.
 

luka

Well-known member
There's a defensiveness there that some people might be inclined to like, read stuff into, lol
 

john eden

male pale and stale
Don't worry John. If you don't have any problems why think about it? Same with droid. Why the need to keep picking at the scab. Lots of other threads to engage with.

I'm not saying I don't have any problems, LOL.

Were you just hoping for a bunch of replies where people simply rated their anger at their parents out of 10 and said nothing else?
 
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