Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 16 to 30 of 66

Thread: How angry are you with your mum and dad still

  1. #16
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    North East London
    Posts
    5,209

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by baboon2004 View Post
    an alarmingly well-timed thread (in my world at least). Liking the title too - beats Oliver James' Larkin steal hands down.

    people who aren't angry with their parents are either
    - in the lucky 10% whose parents were actually good enough, and who ensured that no topic was off limits for discussion (the most important thing of all, imo - everyone fucks up, admitting to it is the thing)
    - psychopathically in denial.
    I'm gonna be 50 in a few years. The only excuse for being angry with your parents at my age is if they actually abused you.

  2. #17
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    7,866

    Default

    I think that bringing to consciousness one's anger against one's parents is positive rather than negative in a society that is so repressed (especially when it comes to family), whenever that occurs in life - but equally there's a massive difference between being angry and being consumed by anger, so I take your point.

    My take on it is that abuse takes many, many forms, and i think that's a big problem - many people don't recognise the abuse that was visited upon them AS abuse initially, because it doesn't fit the classic abuse narrative. And that can be extremely difficult to untangle.

  3. #18
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    10,634

    Default

    And you don't get to choose whether you're angry. It's either there, pent up and acidic, or its not. You can't think or moralise your way out of it.

  4. #19
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    7,866

    Default

    Totally. Difference between working through something intellectually and working through something emotionally is...well, they're two entirely different things.

  5. #20
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    North East London
    Posts
    5,209

    Default

    Well maybe I have worked it all through, or maybe I am repressed.

    Or maybe something in the middle.

    Either way it feels like I have a reasonably healthy relationship with my parents, which wasn't always the case.

    I completely accept that this won't be the case for everyone.

  6. #21
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,927

    Default

    Not for nothing, the contents of this thread are better than the title initially had me expecting.

    All I'm disclosing is I'm in my late 20s so take from that what you will |0|

  7. #22
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    The Fear - Dublin
    Posts
    5,789

    Default

    Anyone still angry at their parents after 30 without good reason is trapped in adolescent thought patterns.

    The cure is to have children, you then start wondering if your parents are still angry at you.

  8. #23
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    The Fear - Dublin
    Posts
    5,789

    Default

    If you cant or dont want to have kids, watching a few close friends/family die should also do the trick.

  9. #24
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    The Fear - Dublin
    Posts
    5,789

    Default

    This is such a middle class thread.

  10. #25
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    7,866

    Default

    ?

    can't tell if you're taking the piss or being serious. I have to presume it's the former.
    Last edited by baboon2004; 04-09-2016 at 09:54 PM.

  11. #26
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    The Fear - Dublin
    Posts
    5,789

    Default

    I am serious. Unless youve been the victim of actual abuse of some kind then the assumption that everyone must automatically be angry at their parents... Its just asnine.

  12. #27
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    7,866

    Default

    Christ, you are serious.

    1/ Don't call other people 'asinine', especially on such subjects as this. It makes you look like a conceited twat, especially when you're obviously devoted so little thought to this issue.

    2/ No-one was talking about being 'automatically' angry with parents, whatever that word could mean in this context. Rather, that a lot of parents aren't good enough.

    3/ You seem to be defining when it is 'appropriate' feel angry by employing very vague terms - 'without good reason', 'victim of actual abuse of some kind'. If someone feels angry at their parents, then you should believe that they have good reason to be. Emotions are not a choice. What to do with them, is.

    4/ As for 'the cure is to have children' - not if you're going to deny your own feelings/pretend they're not appropriate and suppress them because, believe me, you will pass it on to your own children if you do that. And that constitutes abusive behaviour in many cases.

    5/ "If you cant or dont want to have kids, watching a few close friends/family die should also do the trick." Cos no-one who's angry at their parents has ever also seen people die, right? This is, again, a stupid comment.

    6/ I'm outta here. Well done for your extraordinary empathy-free contribution to this thread.
    Last edited by baboon2004; 04-09-2016 at 10:56 PM.

  13. #28
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    The Fear - Dublin
    Posts
    5,789

    Default

    Yeah, certainly a lot of anger there.

  14. #29
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Posts
    7,866

    Default

    Are you really that much of an arsehole, or just too cowardly to admit that your comments were ill-judged?

  15. #30
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Location
    The Fear - Dublin
    Posts
    5,789

    Default

    Not really sure how to engage with such a remarkable level of self serving distortion and furious misreading.

    I didnt call anyone asnine, I said the assumption that everyone must be angry at their parents was asnine, the assumption that is written into the very thread title and an assumption that you have repeated in the starkest terms. Apparently anyone who doesnt feel this way is a psychopath or 'repressed' in some way. You literally said:

    people who aren't angry with their parents are either... psychopathically in denial
    Im not defining the criteria for 'anger'. The thread doesnt ask 'do you feel angry', it asks 'how angry are you?' and Im suggesting that a bit of perspective does wonders for the 'normal' (again defined in the context that it is abnormal NOT to be angry) levels of resentment and anger in the parent/child relationship.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •