john eden
male pale and stale
PS I never said that "anyone who doesnt feel this way (angry at their parents) is a psychopath or 'repressed' in some way". I just said 90%. Either way, I'm not sure I understand what your investment is in railing against this point of view, or in establishing what is 'normal' for people to feel.
I think Droid has expressed similar things to me, but more stridently. In my experience it is entirely normal for people to be angry with their parents. Especially if you lurk about counter-culture scenes, where it is positively a badge of pride to be estranged from them (or perhaps never to mention them so as to shield your middle class upbringing).
But yes I accept that there is a broader culture of everyone getting on terrifically well as a family except for some hilarious minor differences over something inconsequential. I think that should be challenged.
Where I disagree with both you and Droid is that it is more complicated than you are both suggesting. And also I think the polarity of both your positions is unhelpful:
This:
people who aren't angry with their parents are either
- in the lucky 10% whose parents were actually good enough, and who ensured that no topic was off limits for discussion (the most important thing of all, imo - everyone fucks up, admitting to it is the thing)
- psychopathically in denial.
Might have seemed like hilarious polemic at the time but it is actually invalidating my feelings. It is telling me that I am psychopathically in denial because my parents didn't live up to some standard of perfection you have just pulled out of your arse. And that's OK I don't really mind, especially as it's obviously a difficult topic for you. But denying the validity of someone's feelings is exactly what you are accusing Droid of doing when he says this:
Anyone still angry at their parents after 30 without good reason is trapped in adolescent thought patterns.
Although I think more could be read into the "without good reason" than perhaps you are allowing?