For sure yeah, while also having the courage to take your hands of the reins was a big thing I found.
That Milton quote is very good! So much was leaning into the fear or sitting with it. For me at least, the ayahuasca sort of took all that rumination and preoccupation we do and infinitely accelerated it. All thoughts and memories built into the most sophisticated matrix of anxiety you could ever conjure up - then at someone point you reach the end of it, that terrible picture is complete and you think 'huh, so that's the worst of it?' and also see very clearly that is it you doing this to yourself. Sounds like the most obvious stuff ever but profound in its own way given its the very stuff you overlook. From that point on the universe really starts singing to you and its amazing. Like I said, I would have been sceptical enough about all this recently as three weeks ago.
I think a common enough experience while tripping can be this sense of, not quite paranoia but like everything around gets woven into your thoughts be it objects, other people's movements and you start to feel like it has all been one big set up? It sort of dawned on me that this is rooted in self-centredness? Like it is very unlikely that say, anyone else in the room sneezing has anything to do with you but something inside genuinely believes it for a time. Once that lightbub went in my head all the chaos and external stuff that had just been quite oppressive turned instead to complete harmony. Speaking to someone else there the morning after who had a similar experience and we both agreed the world couldn't have been revolving around both of us!