thirdform

pass the sick bucket
i learned this from being a young skunk addict. in my late teens i realised that every conversation has a subtext comprised of insult and mockery and attack. that because language is artfully ambiguous (and this is the whole point of finnegans wake) it can embed multiple meanings in the same phrase.

and if you develop an ear for it you will know that friends and family as well as strangers, are tearing shreds off one another all the time. which is why i like the hashtags here because it's a kind of literalisation of that... the composed superego and ego above the line and the snarling, thrashing (and very funny and truthful) id beneath it.

where you can run into serious problems is when you take that hidden id of any conversation, that hostility and scorn, for the only true reading of the text, or even just as more real, than the love and camaraderie and support which is also present and also very real and true.

yeah this is why i got addicted to skunk as well. now that i live with my mum and dad again i still can't explain to them that feeling.
 

luka

Well-known member
specially cos mums and dads can be the coldest with the subliminals actually.
like feels like violence sometimes. my dad wasnt like that. he played hard but fair... but my mum... fucking hell!
 

thirdform

pass the sick bucket
I don't mmind my mums subliminals but my dads ones send me into breakdowns.

Which happens at least twice a week.

its also why ive given up on reading. with music i can just immerse myself in the materiality of sound. with reading i have to resort to the isolated mind of Kantian epistemology. the head takes precedence the hand just flicks a page or presses a button.

honestly i think I'll probably be dead by my own hand in 10 years time.
 

thirdform

pass the sick bucket
thats why im scared of normal people. they will be like no there's no gaslighting. i used to be able to tune in better. then i got turned into a frightened boy again and retreated into the attic.
 

thirdform

pass the sick bucket
when i listen to rnb i get a strange feeling of wanting it to all be over and being uplifted. thats why i can't listen to too much of it. it reminds me of alternative paths that i was barred from. aaliya makes me wanna be non-binary but thats not possible.
 

luka

Well-known member
i had a period of finding almost all music too painful. only lasted a few months but i think back on it now and then. i know ive mentioned it before. could only listen to those 2 late talk talk albums pretty much. everything else felt so intrusive and overbearing.
 

luka

Well-known member
thats why im scared of normal people. they will be like no there's no gaslighting. i used to be able to tune in better. then i got turned into a frightened boy again and retreated into the attic.

ive arranged my life so i almost never have to interact with these people, at least on their territory under their game rules so sometimes i trick myself into thinking that means ive mastered them, that they don't pose a threat any more and that's when fate conspires me to throw me in the midst of them and im drowning all over again.

it's weird. i lose all my magic powers. all of them. they succeed in imposing their view of who i am onto me and i cant wriggle out from under it. it's black magic.
 

thirdform

pass the sick bucket
because my friends are normal folk most of the time i can get really attached to a moment in this digital reality, like if someone doesn't message me after a certain while i can get vexed, i can think they're ignoring me, or i can think they want to put me in the position of a client of a care worker. it's an odd feeling which i still haven't found in music.

and this can happen with people who i have hardlyv ever spoken to, i can construct images of what they are like without knowing anything about them, maybe not even their gender. it's very strange.
 

mistersloane

heavy heavy monster sound
Increasingly I think that the human race is a suicide cult.

As for the sound of dematerialisation, the first time I heard anything like it was the highly timestretched scream from The Matrix, it suddenly made sense as to why jungle/d&b had been using it. I think of dematerialisation as that sound, and also the sound of the high pass/lo pass filter, things disappearing and reappearing as something else. In terms of characterisation and post-dematerialisation, Poppy for me is the only 'star' that has grasped the zeitgiest, with regard to talking as if from inside the machine, and also talking about the suicide cult nature of the human race, and laughing at it.

As for the internet, I love it and still love it. I came from a time before it, and remember hearing about it and obvs reading Neuromancer and just being so excited, and it hasn't disappointed me. To have music, films, porn and books on tap is just so fantastic, let alone not having to have phone conversations with anyone.
 

luka

Well-known member
i wasnt going to post anything today but since it's sloane doing us the honour i have to.
i agree Poppy... in everything except for the music (which is just art-schooly synth archness... tell me if im missing anything) and i suspect the vision will get cruder
as diplo tries to monetise the project. i first came across her through vigilant citizen which
in itself would be a coup for her and her project. it means she got the tone right/pressed the right buttons.

https://vigilantcitizen.com/musicbusiness/poppy-youtube-star-illuminati-mind-control/
 

mistersloane

heavy heavy monster sound
i wasnt going to post anything today but since it's sloane doing us the honour i have to.
i agree Poppy... in everything except for the music (which is just art-schooly synth archness... tell me if im missing anything) and i suspect the vision will get cruder
as diplo tries to monetise the project. i first came across her through vigilant citizen which
in itself would be a coup for her and her project. it means she got the tone right/pressed the right buttons.

https://vigilantcitizen.com/musicbusiness/poppy-youtube-star-illuminati-mind-control/


I think jus to reduce her to vigilantcitizen - however interesting it is - is to negate the interioriety of her extererority. Ultimately i just think it's what Gaga wanted to say, but was too old. I don't think anyone can deny her position, which is, I think, the first from within the frame. No not missing anything about the music - they all want to make mony.

Interestingly - I think - I been listening to alot of Screw tapes, which are submergence into the field. Dematerilisata- at- at - atatata-ta - ion as submergence, which ^^^ hi pass / lo pass filter.
 

Corpsey

bandz ahoy
640px-Francisco_de_Zurbarán_-_Cup_of_Water_and_a_Rose_on_a_Silver_Plate_-_WGA26060.jpg


I was struck by this painting in the National Gallery t'other day, because it is a sort of photorealistic depiction of a cup of water and a rose that is at the same time symbolic of the Virgin. It is wholly realistic AND wholly symbolic.

It is a concentrated look at these two things, as if the intensity of scrutiny and realism will make the symbolism more intense, palpable, real. This is materiality representing ineffability. Are they just signs for that, or are they that quality itself?

I was thinking of starting a thread about symbolism in art. Whether it's declined with the decline of spiritual belief. Medieval art, e.g., was largely symbolic. I know I must be forgetting a lot of examples of symbolism in today's art (allegory is everywhere), but by and large I wonder if symbolism cannot exist as powerfully in a materialist culture such as ours. Or rather, the materialist symbol points towards more material - e.g. the gold rolex represents material power.

Anyway, as half baked as these thoughts might be it occurred to me they might fit in somewhere here.
 

craner

Beast of Burden
specially cos mums and dads can be the coldest with the subliminals actually.
like feels like violence sometimes. my dad wasnt like that. he played hard but fair... but my mum... fucking hell!

So true. My mother is a legitimate emotional terrorist. It’s crazy the stuff she can drag up from 20 years ago, and also pin on me things my father did 30/40 years ago due to “Craner genes”!
 

CrowleyHead

Well-known member
Papa Crowley dug up a photo of the both of us at Walt Disney theme park once and shared it with me. Days later when me and he were at odds he brought it back up again with "Where's that kid? He loved me!"

SMOLDERING.

Parents are traumatized by watching their kids develop into human beings. They can't wrap their brains around it as you become fully formed oppositional forces.
 

thirdform

pass the sick bucket
because my friends are normal folk most of the time i can get really attached to a moment in this digital reality, like if someone doesn't message me after a certain while i can get vexed, i can think they're ignoring me, or i can think they want to put me in the position of a client of a care worker. it's an odd feeling which i still haven't found in music.

and this can happen with people who i have hardlyv ever spoken to, i can construct images of what they are like without knowing anything about them, maybe not even their gender. it's very strange.

music. music for this feeling plz.
 

thirdform

pass the sick bucket
what about when you're going through old forum posts from yonks back and you're oh shit, i was chatting a lot of shit this could be construed as crypto-racist. maybe marxist-atheism isn't such a good thing shiiiiit maybe i need the terror of hell to keep me moral and upright.
 
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