in a years time when me, you and joe are all best mates, we're going to look back at this thread and laugh. how could such a strong relationship have had such a rocky start? be patient luke. we know joe's reading. he just doesn't know what to say. what tact to take.
joe, just be honest.
"hey guys, thanks for engaging with me. to be honest some of it feels like you are taking the piss, but i do get the sense that behind all of that there is a genuine attempt to try to comfort and include me. it's much appreciated at this tough time. thank you"