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Thread: Tell me about where you live

  1. #31
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    Here's corpseys account

    "I shat myself in Egypt about four-five years ago. I dunno how I got a dodgy stomach (could have been any number of reasons) - all I know is that I was drinking a can of Sprite in my hotel room, looking forward to a boat trip down the nile which was commencing the next day, when suddenly I did a fart that was more liquid than the contents of the can I was sipping from. I rushed to the toilet, squitted a bit and laughed it off - 'So that was my experience of diahorrea while travelling' I thought, smugly.

    I spent the rest of the night shitting and sweating and vomiting. At one point I was sick in the sink at the SAME TIME as letting loose a pound of chocolate Angel Delight from my arse-end. I went to bed, teary eyed and turdy arsed, about five hours later. I shat myself in my sleep, waking up to find myself tucked into what was effectively a gigantic sheet of used Andrex.

    Then on the boat down the nile, I lay on my back and moaned a lot for about two days, occasionally leaving the boat to go and do a wet shit in the desert sands while stray dogs circled around me hoping that some Pedigree chum would fall out of my bumhole.

    One night (and I'm not lying) I had a dream where I was in a 'who can shit the fastest?' contest. The guy judging the contest counted down from 3. On '1' I woke up. If I could have shrunk the boat we were on to the size of a chocolate mini roll than we could have gone on a little cruise down my trouser legs.''

    - shat in a hedge on new years day about five years or more ago. left a party in the middle of the countryside while pissed up... stormed off, basically, with the intention of walking home (even though i was miles from home and had no idea how to even get close to near it), ended up walking around in pitch darkness half freezing to death. that was when the hedge shitting occured.

    - several other times in numerous fields. i grew up in a fairly rural area. its par for the course.
    rap'n'bullshit"

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  3. #32
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    Mr Tea

    "I dug a little pit with my heel and kicked soil and leaf litter over it afterwards like a cat. "

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  5. #33
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    One of the weird things about living is the uncomfortable relationship you get into with the people in the local corner shop. They know too much about you. Have seen you in too many different states.

  6. #34
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    I think Simon Reynolds or Droid started it, one of those two.
    Makes sense.

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  8. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by luka View Post
    Mr Tea

    "I dug a little pit with my heel and kicked soil and leaf litter over it afterwards like a cat. "
    One of my all time top 5 shits, that.
    Doin' the Lambeth Warp New: DISSENSUS - THE NOVEL - PM me your email address and I'll add you

  9. #36
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    We have a whole thread about this called 'al fresco shitting' I think Simon Reynolds or Droid started it, one of those two.
    It was a companion to his famous Energy Slash book.

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  11. #37
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    blissbog
    not what i was hoping for if i'm honest

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  13. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadmanbarty View Post
    blissbog
    Not pissblog?
    Doin' the Lambeth Warp New: DISSENSUS - THE NOVEL - PM me your email address and I'll add you

  14. #39

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    Quote Originally Posted by luka View Post
    One of the weird things about living is the uncomfortable relationship you get into with the people in the local corner shop. They know too much about you. Have seen you in too many different states.

    Oh my God that is so true.

  15. #40

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    They could actually disclose quite damaging information without even knowing.

  16. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by sadmanbarty View Post
    blissbog
    Blisslog

  17. #42
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    Shat in a bush on China beach while looking at the golden gate bridge, pondering about how jumpers either choose the side facing the city if they're sad to go, facing the dark Pacific if they're glad to go

  18. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by HMGovt View Post
    Shat in a bush on China beach while looking at the golden gate bridge, pondering about how jumpers either choose the side facing the city if they're sad to go, facing the dark Pacific if they're glad to go
    Dark shit, man.
    Doin' the Lambeth Warp New: DISSENSUS - THE NOVEL - PM me your email address and I'll add you

  19. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Tea View Post
    Dark shit, man.
    Yeah, I think there was some blood in it.

    Speaking of, anyone else donate? I've bagged 5 or 6 pints for the NHS over the past couple of years and for entirely selfish reasons.

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  21. #45
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    What use would the NHS have for 5 or 6 pints of shit?

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