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Thread: Luka's Wonderful Poetry Thread

  1. #31
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    Let's keep foremost in our minds the function of this thread, that is, to tell me how wonderful my poetry is

  2. #32
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    Amorous marble. Redeem voucher.
    Enter incarnate maelstrom. The torque
    Of cyclonic matter.
    Martyrdom Broadcast. 11 past the hour.
    And till tolls. Reconvene the assembly. Softly I have something to say
    We all feel this way, in the catastrophe
    disassembled like birdsong
    ascending at sharp angles, articulated,
    very swift and sudden in each
    change of direction, pivot and placement
    of the suceeding plane.

    It was a fait accompli, as inevitable as thunder, the consequence of benign neglect.
    We chose to be here, incarnate
    and shabbily dishonest. Would you
    scratch the hollow behind the knee?
    Collude in the threadbare fiction
    till the cardboard walls collapse.

    The stress sectors displaying friction about turn the next alignment for seasons regimental folder essay align the several sequence indefinitely wear tells are nice inclement shading seasonal lets with older to assembly date transifix reorder and realign radial symmetry orb is there is no point of origin for this fractal universe it is everywhere already

    Adjunct periodicity the pink blush cactus horizon temperate low gradient run across runway section pedestal lush regimento mauve cascade grey cashmere hauteur coat tailoring sexual upholstery interior aeronautic life jacket the textured liniment of granite cross section incline cross purposes grapple limit vortex reached rate at which shear sector turbine breaks here at intersplice lever expedient release template expectancy returns forecast arrival

    Quiver limit measure degree to which tremor receipt audial light image retinal pink highlights flash image retinal phosphur burn horizon explode as image recede to disappear closer to functional use factor negation zero
    inter zone mezzo pastel appliqué cash register hair pin anxious of problematising down the debate corridor of wrist pressure amplify syllable impulse plosives mesh curtain chokehold restraint sequence tether lock

  3. #33
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    I'm not happy, in retrospect, with the proximity of cardboard walls to threadbare.

    But I don't edit as a rule, and I don't think, which is how these infelicities creep in.

  4. #34
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    Cyclones again! Maybe you could get a job as in-house poet for Dyson?

    I especially like "sexual upholstery". The longer lines at the end are very later-Prynnian.

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  6. #35
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    "Cyclonic matter" also puts me in mind of Olson: "a poem is energy transferred from where the poet got it (he will have some several causations), by way of the poem itself to, all the way over to, the reader. Okay. Then the poem itself must, at all points, be a high energy-construct and, at all points, an energy-discharge."

  7. #36
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    Stage 1: hoover up. Stage 2: whirl about. Stage 3: directed emission

  8. #37
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    For stage 1, you need an open sensibility, to be able to take all kinds of things in. For stage 2, an un- or de-compartmentalised mind, willing to entertain impure or seemingly arbitrary combinations. For stage 3, practice and discipline. You can't just empty it out all over the floor.

  9. #38
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    I can see the point of not editing, which is that it holds your feet to the fire of trying to get it to come out right just as it comes. You generally can't edit bad stuff into good, or dull stuff into interesting. On the other hand, sometimes I do think better of something, and the replacement word or phrase is just so much better that I accept it as having the authority of first thought, even though it came along later. Dissatisfaction with what's on the page can be a valid spur to ingenuity.

  10. #39
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    Im not dogmatic about it. If I see something which needs improving I fix it

  11. #40
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    The cyclone think is partly to do with spinning, spinning earth, orbit, whirling dervish, still centre of turning world, confounding the light, the specific religious experience of the light from above as represented on the ceilings of mosques abd cathedrals. The spin which turns stars to spears

  12. #41
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    Sufi cyclonic rapture of the light
    is stained glass
    stained glass rapture
    The blow to the head
    is the fall
    from spinning roundaboutly
    light all of it
    lovely light only
    learn by doing
    walk out the circuit of the ritual
    do the motions, perform
    Ha ha! see!
    The reverberations of light

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  14. #42
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    Cyclonic irrigation -
    an exhilarating WHOOSH -
    bum-rush the system
    so I thought

    which thought brought me
    to A & E
    with painful & inextricable
    plastic Dyson nozzle

  15. #43
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  16. #44
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    Here you go corpsey


    Touchstone. Take it. Truth, they’d tarnish it
    Sooth, say it, there’s wisdom within it,
    awakening, it starts to glow.
    All told, lo! it’s wordy
    Prone to prattle,
    A precis,
    Calls it-
    Poem

    Plucked, picked, from pearlescent aether, saw it shining, sounding singing,
    cooed it down to earth. Such voices! Hear, it’s heavenly, happens
    it is hardly human, hearken, how unearthly, unbirthed and
    unbegun. Barely herely, scarcely nowly, nearly unbecome
    wholly free from fealty, owing no allegiance, under
    no illusion acting on an idle whim.
    Wind guessed it, gusted it
    billowed it, bustled it
    thrusting it
    Within.

    Heart bird in rib cage, captured, O it sings
    sadly sobs laments and wailing woes
    Soul, set, with ropes and pins
    pines and moons, wanes
    and nearly wastes
    away.

    Why?
    Woe wails
    Vast vale of
    Sighs and crys and tears.
    Touchstone. Take it, touch it, Time.
    Dust. It’s this tale of days turning, into years.

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  18. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by poetix View Post
    Cyclones again! Maybe you could get a job as in-house poet for Dyson?

    I especially like "sexual upholstery". The longer lines at the end are very later-Prynnian.
    I was saying to you on Facebook it was partly a process of reverse engineering Prynne

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