The Saga of Goblin Nonce.

luka

Well-known member
Craner will have the same horrified reaction if he reads it. Mortified. Bone-deep embarrassment
 

luka

Well-known member
I was just thinking out loud. Being self-dramatising. Self-pitying. The stuff I enjoy the most. Apologies.
 

droid

Well-known member
It's a big shock. He seemed like such a quiet chap, a bit odd, but unassuming, kept himself to himself.

We never would've have guessed what was living amongst us.
 

yyaldrin

in je ogen waait de wind
i was enjoying this too but didn't feel like replying afterwards because the bar is so high, like, what else is there to add?
 

poetix

we murder to dissect
We all have our inner goblin, wizened dweller-under-the-hill, unlovely creature that knows in its bones it is unlovely. Sometimes it is the goblin that stares back at us in the mirror, and all the blinking and head-shaking in the world will not restore the happy image of our ego ideal. Some people's entire persona is constructed around managing the goblin within, whether by maintaining an unbreakably smooth surface of human personability, or by running around jumping out at people yelling "look! goblin!" in the hope that the unbearable will become normalised through repetition.

We all have our inner nonce, energy vampire, runner of rackets, presumer upon others' patience. Noncing is about getting needs met in underhand ways, by positioning others so that they cannot help but feed us. Everyone has a desperate part of themselves that will resort to manipulation, provocation, entitled arrogant demandingness, to obtain for itself what we fear others will never willingly give.

The goblin nonce is the goblin self put in charge of our energy supply, running the show, demanding love for the unlovable. A low extortionist, a dazzling performer, skulking and smirking but never smiling in the happiness of mutual recognition. Not your best side. But sometimes a virtuoso, always an event, always a saga. You know when you've been goblin-nonced, when you've been compromised, diminished, and the other person's joy has increased as a result. You know when you've been the goblin nonce, when that payoff, that glut of satisfaction, is tinged with acid reflux, a nagging intimation that, ok you got one over on the other guy, but weren't you, you know, a bit of a prick about it? Was all that really necessary? Couldn't it have been done more honestly and straightforwardly, in a way that respected and uplifted everyone involved?
 

poetix

we murder to dissect
What I'm saying here is not that Luka has been, in this situation, the goblin nonce (I don't see it, to be honest), but that we have all, in one situation or another, been the goblin nonce.
 

yyaldrin

in je ogen waait de wind
I'm sure you have similar stories. Who was your dad? How well did you know him? Perhaps you never met him I don't know.

i feel that most people don't really know their fathers that well, or find out about who he was only later. i always think my father is emotionally crippled, like can't even give a hug. doesn't talk about feelings. etc. but somehow, this is universal i think. most of them forced to work the biggest part of their life full-time in order to sustain a family, not being able to complain about that, missing out on essential human development. it's a sacrifice. his father probably did the same, and so on. used to make me disappointed that he is like this but how much do i know about him and what he has been through?
 

luka

Well-known member
And I feel that on a symbolic level it's special. For me it is. To have a representative of Marks cadre return to us and intergrate. Maybe just sentimental but to me it feels healing.

Stockholm syndrome isnt it. Not Copenhagen.
 

luka

Well-known member
He had a blog back in pre-dissensus days. Part of that rabble. One of Marks crowd. Very intellectual. I didn't really understand him to be honest but more recently I found I could talk to him on Facebook. Which maybe surprised me a little bit, but in a good way.
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
i feel that most people don't really know their fathers that well, or find out about who he was only later. i always think my father is emotionally crippled, like can't even give a hug. doesn't talk about feelings. etc. but somehow, this is universal i think. most of them forced to work the biggest part of their life full-time in order to sustain a family, not being able to complain about that, missing out on essential human development. it's a sacrifice. his father probably did the same, and so on. used to make me disappointed that he is like this but how much do i know about him and what he has been through?

My uncle (dad's older brother) is the most nostalgic person in the world. His capacity for carping on about the good old days is the stuff of legend. He's also colossally selfish. His two kids have somehow turned out pretty well but he shows very little interest in the two lovely grandchildren his daughter has given him.

Anyway, I heard a story from my dad that helps make sense of this, a bit. Their father was an extremely no-nonsense Welshman, mining stock, grew up in dire poverty in a Swansea slum, fought in the war. Moustache. Pipe. When my uncle was two, gramps decided it was time for him to put away childish things, so he took the boy's dummy, which he was still very much into. But he didn't just throw it away. He took it into the garden and burned it. Actually burned it. Like an offering to some nameless elder god.
 
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