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Thread: whales ih the thames

  1. #1
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  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by marine rescue diver bloke
    at 8.30am today we got a phone call from someone on a train who thought they had just hallucinated and seen a whale going up the Thames near Waterloo Bridge.
    i just popped up to vauxhall in me lunchbreak to see if i could spot it
    apparently it's already up to putney by now!



    it looks pretty happy on the telly

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  4. #4
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    looks like Will Self is ripping off Martin today. Compare:

    "am I the only person who thinks it might, just might, be considered a portent of catastrophe 'n' doom to have a whale kick the bucket in your capital city? Imagine, for a second, that our most venerated city columnists actually did something useful and documented London life ((instead of trying to score sex through schadenfreude)), and bequeathed a wond'rous stack of archives to future generations. '21/01/06. A WHALE EXPIRED ON THE APPROACH TO SHADWELL. AND IN EAST LONDON, A COAT WAS ARRESTED.' See, it's not difficult. Ain't exactly Thomas Pynchon, you dig?"

    and:

    "Call me Ishmael, but I realised at once that it was all up for the poor cetacean. When a prodigy of nature like this occurs in an ancient city such as ours, it can only be interpreted as an omen...Obviously the mini-Moby's miserable, shocked, breathless demise was a preview of our own."

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    The monosyllabically-surnamed cunt! If I ever find him I'll make him wish he'd bloody overdosed*

    Read more about the whale in my forthcoming book, "How The Dead Live"

    * if that isn't too bullying

  6. #6
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    someone told me that there was a large sperm whale that made it as far as london bridge in the eighteenth century... i asked whether it had made it back safely to the open sea & they replied 'nah... got harpooned...'

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