luka

Well-known member
sorry jenks i couldnt let it pass though it's just so so bad and if you let people get away with writing like that theyll keep doing it. sometimes you have to tear something apart for the good of the culture plus anyone who wears an earring like that grew up in somerset and has all of ben harpers albums on cd. sort of person who wears a t shirt over a long sleeved t shirt. you have to take a stand
 

Corpsey

bandz ahoy
Trump to offer bonuses to teachers who do gun training
That’s just what u need inexperienced people tackling people who are desperate to kill
Terrorists will leave America alone
Americans are doing it well enough themselves
Guns upon guns
Mental

- Neville Southall, Twitter
 

CORP$EY

no mickey mouse ting
'THOUGH leaves are many, the root is one;
Through all the lying days of my youth
I swayed my leaves and flowers in the sun;
Now I may wither into the truth.'

YEATS
 

luka

Well-known member
grim. i do a lot of work for a retired doyen of the london advertising scene but its just personal bits.
 

luka

Well-known member
The literary critic Harold Bloom shares the following
anecdote:
Some years ago, on a stormy night in New Haven, I sat down to
reread, yet once more, John Milton’s
Paradise Lost
[...] I wanted
to start all over again with the poem: to read it as though I had
never read it before, indeed as though no one had ever read it
before me [...] And while I read, until I fell asleep in the middle
of the night, the poem’s initial familiarity began to dissolve
[...] Although the poem is a biblical epic, in classical form, the
peculiar impression it gave me was what I generally ascribe to
literary fantasy or science fiction, not to heroic epic.
Weirdness
was its overwhelming effect.
 

CORP$EY

no mickey mouse ting
one thing that makes paradise lost so strange and interesting is that milton is such an intensely thoughtful and naturally rebellious poet but he's writing as if scripture is the truth and he can't deviate from it... so he ties himself in knots explaining this inexplicable story... that tension between his nature and the nature of the story he's adapting

i began the Odyssey this week (aborted due to job interview preparation but i will start again next week) and THAT is a weird story

paradise lost is fairly alien to our modern sensibilities due to its fundamentalism and so on but the odyssey is a completely different worldview
 

sadmanbarty

Well-known member
wasn't there some talk of corpse finding a creative outlet a few weeks back? write some poems or short stories or something and put them on dissensus corpse. craner and luka can critique them and i'll be dead impressed with whatever you do because it'll all sound fancy to me.
 

CORP$EY

no mickey mouse ting
It's world poetry day!

I think we should all write a haiku to celebrate

Here's mine:

The apparition of these faces in the crowd:
Petals on a wet, black bough.


Thoughts?
 

luka

Well-known member
it's remarkably reminiscent of something else i cant quite my finger on.
visions of an american in paris, imagistic verse, a hawkish countenance.
 

CORP$EY

no mickey mouse ting
a focus on some aspect of nature or the seasons

division into two asymmetrical sections, usually with a cut at the end of the first or second section, creating a juxtaposition of two subjects (e.g. something large and something small, something natural and something human-made, two unexpectedly similar things, etc.)

a contemplative or wistful tone and an impressionistic brevity

elliptical "telegram style" syntax and no superfluous words

imagery predominates over ideas and statements, so that meaning is typically suggestive, requiring reader participation

avoidance of metaphor and similes

non-rhyming lines

Some additional traits are especially associated with English-language haiku (as opposed to Japanese-language haiku):

a three-line format with 17 syllables arranged in a 5–7–5 pattern or about 10 to 14 syllables,

little or no punctuation or capitalization, except that cuts are sometimes marked with dashes or ellipses and proper nouns are usually capitalized
 

CORP$EY

no mickey mouse ting
Blue unbroken sky -
Sloping black keyboard with dust
and crumbs in white dots

original reads:

Blue unbroken sky
Black keyboard mottled with dust
And crumbs in white dots
 

CORP$EY

no mickey mouse ting
Blue unbroken sky -
Sloping black keyboard with dust
and crumbs in white dots

original reads:

Blue unbroken sky
Black keyboard mottled with dust
And crumbs in white dots

i think we can all agree the original was better
 

luka

Well-known member
i dont approve of haikus in engish or at least, not overliteral attempts at english haiku.
 

luka

Well-known member
why dont you try and write a proper poem, without the word 'wanky' in it
or any other kind of distancing or disavowing effect.
 
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