Chef Napalm
Lost in the Supermarket
Dear Rephlex:
I , like many AFX fans, eagerly signed up for the Analord newsletter when the series was announced in the summer. Since then I have been waiting patiently for word on its official release. Finally, Wednesday morning, word arrived: If you want one, it'll be £40!
£40!!??! That's almost $100 Canadian! For a *new* record! That may or may not be any good! No sound samples are available and apparently nobody has heard it except for a rare few who appear to have been chosen for their extreme inarticulateness. Example:
I really would like to trust you on this, Rephlex, but RDJ's output has been questionable of late, to say the least (Smojphace...hello!). I for one am beginning to wonder whether Mr. James is playing some elaborate prank that ratchets up a notch with each subsequent release. I get the idea that he is rummaging around his bank vault cum appartment wondering, "What unlistenable shit can I sell the proles this time?" Cue the hysterical laughter as he selects a mouldering reel-to-reel from the pile on the floor. Daddy needs a new tank!
I realise that Aphex Twin probably out-sells all of the rest of Rephlex's catalogue combined, but surely there must come a time when someone over there listens to Dick's latest stylus-on-sandpaper track and says, "Fuck, Rich, this sucks! Have you got anything worth listening to?" The penny has got to drop for those of us who have obsessively collected his stuff lo these 20 years and when it does you'll be luck to move one of these soul-sucking jokes, let alone the 87 that have been ordered as of this writing. We don't take kindly to being the butt of some artfuck's joke and we have the spending power to back it up.
In closing, I would like to thank you for opening my eyes. I will not be wasting my hard-earned, near-worthless Canadian dollars on any more of your product.
Merry Christmas,
The Grinch
I , like many AFX fans, eagerly signed up for the Analord newsletter when the series was announced in the summer. Since then I have been waiting patiently for word on its official release. Finally, Wednesday morning, word arrived: If you want one, it'll be £40!
£40!!??! That's almost $100 Canadian! For a *new* record! That may or may not be any good! No sound samples are available and apparently nobody has heard it except for a rare few who appear to have been chosen for their extreme inarticulateness. Example:
I really would like to trust you on this, Rephlex, but RDJ's output has been questionable of late, to say the least (Smojphace...hello!). I for one am beginning to wonder whether Mr. James is playing some elaborate prank that ratchets up a notch with each subsequent release. I get the idea that he is rummaging around his bank vault cum appartment wondering, "What unlistenable shit can I sell the proles this time?" Cue the hysterical laughter as he selects a mouldering reel-to-reel from the pile on the floor. Daddy needs a new tank!
I realise that Aphex Twin probably out-sells all of the rest of Rephlex's catalogue combined, but surely there must come a time when someone over there listens to Dick's latest stylus-on-sandpaper track and says, "Fuck, Rich, this sucks! Have you got anything worth listening to?" The penny has got to drop for those of us who have obsessively collected his stuff lo these 20 years and when it does you'll be luck to move one of these soul-sucking jokes, let alone the 87 that have been ordered as of this writing. We don't take kindly to being the butt of some artfuck's joke and we have the spending power to back it up.
In closing, I would like to thank you for opening my eyes. I will not be wasting my hard-earned, near-worthless Canadian dollars on any more of your product.
Merry Christmas,
The Grinch
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