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Thread: Inevitable (?) office party thread

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by STN View Post
    My work is 95% women, who are generally (in my experience) less prepared to explode into violence over (often completely imagined) slights.
    never been to cardiff city centre at closing time then, i take it.

  2. #32
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    Well that's probably more to do with being welsh, than gender?

    My office parties passed without any serious incident this year.

    I was bitten by a lesbian at our departmental one. On my shoulder, which was good because I was then able to wind her up that my partner had gone apeshit about it after seeing the (entirely fictional) mark she'd left.

    At the all-company one we were joined on our table from a geezer from IT who complained that people always wanted to talk to him about their computers at these things but we were alright. He then proceeded to talk about computers all night, but he was on the other side of the table so I ignored him.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by john eden View Post
    I was bitten by a lesbian at our departmental one.
    Perhaps she was trying to turn you into a lesbian? I mean, that's how it spreads, isn't it?

    (woops, sorry, I appear to have confused Facebook and Reallife again... )
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  4. #34
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    Well I missed mine, due to one of my mates being a fool.

    However, my colleagues have cracked open the first bottle of cava at 10:50am this morning. I can't see a good end to today....

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Tea View Post
    Perhaps she was trying to turn you into a lesbian?
    lol

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistersloane View Post
    lol
    If he starts fancying girls, we'll know there's no hope for him.
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  7. #37
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    Well, this thread never turns into the cesspit of Petronian mayhem that I hope it will, but I'm giving it another go. Only 8 people in the office I work in now, so unlikely anything bizarre will happen...

  8. #38
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    i heard that a girl at my work licked cocaine off some dude's dick at one of our xmas parties, but then apparently a teacher also did that to a sixth-former at the school i went to. Not sure why anyone would want to lick coke anyway.

    not as horrendous as STN is after i'm sure, but the funniest thing i ever saw at one of our xmas parties was this guy trying to breakdance near a table full of complementary glasses of champagne and bottles of beer. He fatefully tried to execute the spinning-around-on-your-back thing, getting his foot caught in the tablecloth in the process, and pulled about 20 drinks down all over himself. The final insult was a single bottle of becks teetering on its side on the edge of the table, the remaining contents dripping onto his forehead as he lay on the floor.

  9. #39
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    "i heard that a girl at my work licked cocaine off some dude's dick at one of our xmas parties, but then apparently a teacher also did that to a sixth-former at the school i went to. Not sure why anyone would want to lick coke anyway"
    I suppose though that if she'd done it differently you would be saying "why would you want someone sniffing your dick anyway" instead.

  10. #40
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    lol, true true

    can't think of any appealing drug/genitalia combos really, though i'm sure someone here will suggest one

  11. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by BareBones View Post
    lol, true true

    can't think of any appealing drug/genitalia combos really, though i'm sure someone here will suggest one
    Cocaine is absorbed by different membranes so it can be taken vaginally apparently, and it enhances sensitivity in the area, at least that's what Jack Nicholsen claimed in the 70s.

  12. #42
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    There's this girl on youtube who talks about taking DMT anally.


  13. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by viktorvaughn View Post
    Cocaine is absorbed by different membranes so it can be taken vaginally apparently, and it enhances sensitivity in the area, at least that's what Jack Nicholsen claimed in the 70s.
    If by 'enhances sensitivity' you mean 'makes you numb', then, um, sure! It's a topical anaesthetic.

    My feeling is just that people get a kick out of doing 'dirty' stuff when they're off their tits, simple as that.
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  14. #44

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    i think jack nicholson used it to numb his bell cos he blew his bag in about 2 seconds, its inb easy riders raging bulls. one of the benefits of being sacked this week is no office parties.

    Worst ive got up to was briefly copping off with my managers girl who i was chums with (well, not after that)

  15. #45
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    the anus/rectum is the most permeable membrane in the body, more permeable than the nasal passages and sinuses

    and hence it is great for using to get high (more permeable=faster absorption)

    especially on methamphetamine and ecstasy

    now THAT is an office party I'd like to attend

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