I tempetd Claudius into a game of dominoes, got him drunk on banana beer, overpowered him and strapped him down. My 1 year-old is going to work on him with a rusty fork.
Meanwhile, his foul-bummed cohorts continue to wreak havoc outside. My daughter and I just witnessed a thrilling stand-off between one of them and the neighbour's Airedale terrier.
I have bought a powerful slingshot from some kids at a traffic light in Cape Town and am enjoying some agreeable sport. The community pays a bunch of blokes to stagger about the hillside waving sticks at the beasts. Perhaps I could organise them into a passable team of beaters and indulge in a little 'driven baboon'.
Talk about wielding the whip for homosapiens, what what.