Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
In the immortal words of Bang Face, "HEALTH AND SAFETY CAN FUCK OFF".
My college is hosting some sort of open day at the moment, and judging from the temporary signs that have sprung up over the campus, it's for people who are unable to eat a piece of toast without inadvertently disembowling themselves.
There's one saying BEWARE - LOW LIGHT LEVELS OUTSIDE please take care when walking around (Erm, yes, it's called 'the dark'? I believe it's quite a common phenomenon in many parts of the world).
Others, actually outside this time (watch out for those low light levels, now!) declare WARNING UNEVEN SURFACE. Perhaps they should add "DANGER! Ground may present impact hazard if fallen onto" (not a million miles away from the "WARNING - door may present on-swing hazard" which I've seen before, not to mention the new London buses with the very agitated-sounding woman who announces "Stand clear! DOORS OPENING!" as if it's quite likely to rip your arm off). It's only a matter of time before kitchen knives are sold with WARNING DO NOT INSERT INTO EYEBALLS OR GENITALIA on them, or simply banned altogether for our own safety. Fucking litigation lawyers.
What examples of insanely over-cautious and insultingly patronising 'warnings' have you seen lately?
My college is hosting some sort of open day at the moment, and judging from the temporary signs that have sprung up over the campus, it's for people who are unable to eat a piece of toast without inadvertently disembowling themselves.
There's one saying BEWARE - LOW LIGHT LEVELS OUTSIDE please take care when walking around (Erm, yes, it's called 'the dark'? I believe it's quite a common phenomenon in many parts of the world).
Others, actually outside this time (watch out for those low light levels, now!) declare WARNING UNEVEN SURFACE. Perhaps they should add "DANGER! Ground may present impact hazard if fallen onto" (not a million miles away from the "WARNING - door may present on-swing hazard" which I've seen before, not to mention the new London buses with the very agitated-sounding woman who announces "Stand clear! DOORS OPENING!" as if it's quite likely to rip your arm off). It's only a matter of time before kitchen knives are sold with WARNING DO NOT INSERT INTO EYEBALLS OR GENITALIA on them, or simply banned altogether for our own safety. Fucking litigation lawyers.
What examples of insanely over-cautious and insultingly patronising 'warnings' have you seen lately?
