crappest party you've ever attended

sodiumnightlife

Sweet Virginia
on my birthday last year i went to a party which i thought was gonna be a super mental hedonistic party which turnes out to be me, my mate and 5 fairly elderly gay people sitting about, one of whom turned out to be a lecturer at my uni. He tried to convince us he was a knight of the round table and when we took the piss out of him he had us thrown out for "freaking him out".

A particularly cherished memory is of a head boy of a posh edinburgh private school, shitting himself at a party.

Bad parties are where you turn up and you're the only one pissed and you get thrown out for nicking the parents whiskey.
 

sodiumnightlife

Sweet Virginia
dunno not when you have a load of disapproving private school girls staring at you and its right on the edge of town. Good parties are where you drink so much you pass out and then get coco pops put in your boxers and socks. crunchy.
 

Octopus?

Well-known member
dunno not when you have a load of disapproving private school girls staring at you and its right on the edge of town. Good parties are where you drink so much you pass out and then get coco pops put in your boxers and socks. crunchy.

The traditional ploy around these here parts was the mac + cheese followed by lukewarm water down the pants, but I see the appeal of both and now must agree with your original post.
 

mos dan

fact music
this is a fantastic thread. someone should make it into a book and sell it to 'the idler' (they published all those 'crap towns/holidays' books).

some memorable phrases too - 'ginger baby factory', 'double decker dodgems' and 'favourite b-roads kinda party' chief among them. obviously 'spontaneous icebreaking vampire puppet show' holds the crown.

i am gonna have to have a think about my favourite crap parties..
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
I find the worst thing about barbecues is that the blokes always gravitate to the barbecue, then have a conversation about how they've gravitated towards the barbecue 'because it's like fire isn't it?' and then have a vague and extremely stupid conversation about hunting/gathering.

Hahaha. I was a party with a barbeque last weekend and someone said something about being a cave-man and burning bits of meat over a fire. It was still a good barbeque and a pretty great party all round.
 

zhao

there are no accidents
i'll try to do some data retrieval from blocked-memory-files... the worst ones might be lost for ever. but i do remember one halloween a girl sitting next to me turned to me and threw up in my lap. a full serving, complete with chunky bits.
 

tryptych

waiting for a time
I once returned home to find a small party in full swing, comprised of my housemates and various other friends in more inebriated states than I was. Mildy annoyed to be returning home to an unannounced party, which quickly escalated when i found a neatly curled shit in the middle of our bathroom floor.

Wasn't a big party, with no real randoms there, just friends so I marched downstairs in a huff and demanded that one of my housemates take responsibility for clearing it up, and went grumpily off to bed.
 

tryptych

waiting for a time
Oh...

Another party, at a friends house in the countryside, where I new few people and there was a large crusty contingent. We were camping in the garden, and I had rather inadvisidly chosen to experiment with a new exotic psychedelic (5-MeO-DIPT). After generally being spooked by some agressive behaviour and dogs running around the pitch black garden, we retreated to our tents to try and relax about 5am... but couldn't, because of the blaring horrible psy-trance from the soundsystem a couple of hundred yards away.

One of my friends, not tripping, decided that the only thing we could do was to go and demand to be let loose on the decks (we had been invited down to DJ by the host) - idiot. I was fairly nervous and twitchy, but he did all the talking and some 30 minutes later saw us easing the trance of the decks and playing more downtempo electronic music of various kinds. Needless to say, this went down like a lead balloon with everyone who'd been dancing previously. I stood behind the decks, feeling like a complete cock, tripping too hard to be able to mix decently, with my mate who has slightly Aspergers tendancies and is a bit posh trying to play lots of rather limp Big Chill style fodder. It was hell. When some other DJ finally came put us out of our misery and played some reggae, I was relieved, and retreated in embarressment to my tent. Although, mission accomplished in one way - reggae was much more conducive to relaxing and sleep than the trance

In the morning, it was sunny, the drugs had worn off, everyone seemed a lot more friendly, and they even let me spin a few more records, which went down much better. I apologised to our host for making a fuss, and the day was much nicer.
 

john eden

male pale and stale
I have also suffered "dinner parties"* at which lenghty conversations about mortgages and house prices have taken place.

*Dinner "parties" are shit. Actually they are fine but they aren't parties are they? More, coming over for a meal and talking nonsense.
 

STN

sou'wester
I hate that trend at dinner parties to keep banging on about how MMMMMMM, this food is just DELICIOUS, oh my god so-and-so you've done so well MMMMMMMMMM.

Because it's always exaggerated to the extent of involving dishonesty so no one can ever be sure anymore.
 

Pestario

tell your friends
You know that stage at a dinner party where after everyone has their first dig at the meal and puts their cutlery down, wipes their mouth and gets ready for the next wave of conversation? Yeah, I always seem to munch away obliviously through that much to the annoyance of the more well mannered people around me. All that wine has made me hungry people!
 

mms

sometimes
did you ever go to teen parties where some poor sods house gets totally destroyed, i went to a party once where every car on the street was fucked over, all the furniture, the front gate was pulled off etc.

i went to a party last year where i was thrown out after i was beaten up that wasn't a good party!

dinner parties are only good if everyone forsakes the food and goes straight into drinking shitloads of wine.
 

Pangaea

Active member
i love this thread! :D

the house wasn't destroyed luckily, but a party co-hosted by mine and ben ufo's old house, along with our neighbours in the house opposite was 'broken up' nastily by several dozen police in riot gear with dogs - numerous injuries as a result of unprovoked police attacks, one guy had his arm broken by a baton :eek:
 

zhao

there are no accidents
went to a random party a couple of months ago, left my jacket in the coat room, and some dick-face had stolen my i-pod, wallet, and KEYS out of the pocket. :mad::mad::mad:
 

Gabba Flamenco Crossover

High Sierra Skullfuck
Some house party with a really bad MC, who we named MC Rubbish.

Two friends of mine were DJing at a party ages ago (I wasn't there to see this unfortunately). Some cock insisted on MCing over them, so they told him that thier names were DJ Afterbirth and Sergeant Sound.

So he MC'd tirelessly all night with things like 'sounds of the sergeant, sergeant sound...', 'A to the F to the Tee, Afterbirth in the place to be...', etc etc.
 
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