borderpolice

Well-known member
Answering machine messages which say "You have reached...."

Obviously I haven't reached them or I wouldn't be hearing this bloody message.

Not sure you are joking, but the point of "you have reached ..." messages is to avoid situations where somebody accidentally dials a wrong number and leaves a message, that will not go to its intended recipient, without the caller realising that (s)he has dialled the wrong number ... Happened to me once, causing lots of grief, ever since i announce my number on the answer machine message.
 

borderpolice

Well-known member
I'm not even talking about science per se, I'm just applying a bit of basic logic to the saying.

That's not really logic. it's semantics. If you assume that a "rule" means some if-then kind of construct that does not admit exceptions, then it's analytically true that rules have no exceptions. but that's not how the term "rule" is used in everyday language. in praxi, one always leaves side-conditions implicit (otherwise one would not be able to say anthing interesting), hence every rule has exceptions. ;)

Not that i wish to claim that everyday language is the be-all and end-all of semantic analysis.
 

OldRottenhat

Active member
Not sure you are joking, but the point of "you have reached ..." messages is to avoid situations where somebody accidentally dials a wrong number and leaves a message, that will not go to its intended recipient, without the caller realising that (s)he has dialled the wrong number ... Happened to me once, causing lots of grief, ever since i announce my number on the answer machine message.

Oh, I grasp the point of it, and I have no trouble at all with messages that begin e.g. "this is BorderPolice". I strongly endorse straightforwardly identifying yourself on your answering message, rather than, say, playing a brief passage of badly-recorded music, interspersed with whooshing noises and the sound of giggling*. It's being told that I've communicated with someone when self-evidently I haven't, and the best I can do is to leave a message which they may or may not listen to later that winds me up.

*NB I am not making this up...San Francisco was rife with these people.
 

Slothrop

Tight but Polite
Two more horribly abused terms:
  • Reductionist does not mean minimalist, nor does it mean oversimplified.
  • "Begging the question" does not mean "raising or suggesting the question."
 

noel emits

a wonderful wooden reason
What does 'begging the question' mean to you Sloth? Lots of people think it does mean what you say it doesn't, so it kind of does really, doesn't it? ;)
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
What does 'begging the question' mean to you Sloth? Lots of people think it does mean what you say it doesn't, so it kind of does really, doesn't it? ;)

Argh, I HATE that argument! It means the numpties have won!

'Begging the question' means 'arriving at a conlusion that was (implicitly or explicitly) included in the initial assumption' (more or less).
And 'decimate' means 'reuduce (in numbers) by a tenth' and 'disinterested' means 'unbiased, unpartisan'. Harrumph.
 
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jenks

thread death
I know there's no point fighting the less/few fight anymore but i still have an involuntary twitch.

I love DFW's Infinite Jest where the Militant Grammarians of Massachusetts (i think) take matters into their own hands with supermarkets which have aisles for '5 items or less' (sic)
 

noel emits

a wonderful wooden reason
I know there's no point fighting the less/few fight anymore but i still have an involuntary twitch.

I love DFW's Infinite Jest where the Militant Grammarians of Massachusetts (i think) take matters into their own hands with supermarkets which have aisles for '5 items or less' (sic)

I hate it when people say aisles meaning check-out lanes. Does my bleedin' nut in.
 

noel emits

a wonderful wooden reason
These things are examples of how language evolves though aren't they? Just it seems to be devolving towards a flattening subtle meaning, or sumfing.

It's great when you can wind people up or confuse them by using the English language correctly. Some people are almost violently opposed to this.
 
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Slothrop

Tight but Polite
These things are examples of how language evolves though aren't they? Just it seems to be devolving towards a flattening subtle meaning, or sumfing.
Yeah. Although the examples I had in mind particularly piss me off because people are normally using them in a 'look at the clever word / phrase that I know' way and then using them incorrectly.
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
On a slightly more serious note, I do absolutely despise the posters you see around at the moment that basically say "Oh, what a shame, young so-and-so could have been a ballet dancer/athlete/whatever if only they hadn't been run over and killed". The implication being, if they had instead been realistically looking forward to a life of employment stacking shelves in Tesco or photocopying documents and making tea, their death somehow wouldn't have mattered. The idea that what's tragic is not simply a waste of a life but a waste of talent.

Let's face it, most people aren't astonishingly good-looking, clever, athletic, musically gifted etc. Most people are ordinary. And the idea that you have to be 'special' for your death to be in any way regrettable fucking stinks.
(And the same goes for newspaper obituaries of kids and young adults, "such a waste, they had so much to give, blah blah blah...", well SO WHAT, it's still tragic when people who weren't about to embark on a gap year before studying medicine at Cambridge die young, you know? Grrr.)
 
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viktorvaughn

Well-known member
Bits in films where people are kissing and cuddly, wriggle around slightly for a few seconds and suddenly are having penetrative sex!?
 
Bits in films where people are kissing and cuddly, wriggle around slightly for a few seconds and suddenly are having penetrative sex!?

You're just jealous. How long does it take you?

Today someone from a travel agents said "Please may you hold for a minute?"
 
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