nomad hurts the internet's feelings. all it wants is to be loved!
You
- Thread starter barry_abs
- Start date
N
nomadologist
Guest
it gets way too much of my love and attention as it is! i can only give so much
spooky girlfriend
Wild Horses
i feel i have a long way to go and haven't yet found the balance between self-preservation and caring for others, i either care way too much or too little..but suspect i haven't changed since childhood when i was always shy and withdrawn.
as has been said circumstances force most shy children into the social interaction that characterizes adult life but i think i've regressed alot under a self-imposed depression- this i am only just coming out of and have started to lead a normal life again. i'm learning to stop analyzing every single encounter, relationship and event in my life in relation to myself and the meaning of it all...that just leads to unbearable confusion :slanted:
as has been said circumstances force most shy children into the social interaction that characterizes adult life but i think i've regressed alot under a self-imposed depression- this i am only just coming out of and have started to lead a normal life again. i'm learning to stop analyzing every single encounter, relationship and event in my life in relation to myself and the meaning of it all...that just leads to unbearable confusion :slanted:
barry_abs
lil' beyutch
analysis paralysis.
i'm feeling what's coming out here (spooky, norma, turtles, zhao).. emotionally, very intelligent.. i think our self-image is dependent on the feedback we get day to day, and it all starts at home..
i'm a pretty needy guy.. that's possibly why my emotional response is quite extreme when hurt.. i actually consider myself a liability around my family (missus and two kids).. they have the power to hurt me.. they've seen me at my worst.. i've been removed from my house three times by the police.. i've had anger management councelling etc and it's working.. i still get some pretty unsavioury urges - it makes me feel very wrong and i worry about what i'm like but at least i'm aware, now.. my three brothers all suffer the same problem.
but outside of that intimate world, i'm pretty safe.. i strike up solid, lasting friendships with people i share things in common with.. i make little effort with those i don't.. i just can't pretend to be interested.. i don't "network" very well.
Yeah I guess it comes down to "people" as a general concept on one hand, and on the other hand the certain actual acquaintances that we build up relationships with during our lives. The closer the people are the more you care about what they think about you, I think that part's pretty inevitable (and sorry to hear about your troubles, barry. glad you seem to be dealing with them). It's when you start dealing with "people" in general that you can end up with a lot of different approaches, I s'pose. I'm with zhao actually, on generally trying to be friendly and positive towards others, and wanting to be liked in return--though within limits, obviously.
What about people you hate? Do any of you have any enemies? People that you just out and out detest, and that you actually WANT not to like you? I remember in high school there were definitely one or two arrogant rich little assholes that I actively antagonized. I'm not sure what that says about me...
What about people you hate? Do any of you have any enemies? People that you just out and out detest, and that you actually WANT not to like you? I remember in high school there were definitely one or two arrogant rich little assholes that I actively antagonized. I'm not sure what that says about me...
swears
preppy-kei
There was one prick who used to wind me up a lot at school 'cause I started seeing this girl he liked (it was only some silly little teenage thing that lasted about three weeks) he would talk shit about me, slag me off, try to turn people against me, they didn't really give a shit though. You could tell he was pretty insecure. One day I just started to ignore him, laughed it off, told him what he thought about me was meaningless because he really hated himself more than anyone. And he got bored. Still pissed me off anyway.
Then years later I found out that his dad used to beat the shit out of and he couldn't finish uni due to a mental breakdown. He has some crap supermarket job and lives with his mum, even though he could have gone on to better things.
So I suppose my point is that it's hard to stay angry with someone like that, he was probably feeling more fucked up and frustrated than me the whole time. What somebody thinks of you is often a reflection of their own self-loathing.
Noah Baby Food
Well-known member
Ain't dat the truth. It's easy to externalise shit you don't like about yourself as comments on other people's behaviour. Not neccesarily loathing eh, sometimes just ANNOYANCE.
Any Buddhists out there? Do you cats suffer any of this "mind"-y shit?
everyone cares what others think of them because everyone needs acceptance and love. no exceptions. (well maybe certain serial killers? :slanted: )
maybe what people mean when they say they don't care is that they don't care what people outside of their social circles think (people in the circles being the ones who already accept them).
in that sense, well yeah, me too, i could give a flying fuck what ignorant jocks think of my dj sets or my tailored clothes.
maybe what people mean when they say they don't care is that they don't care what people outside of their social circles think (people in the circles being the ones who already accept them).
in that sense, well yeah, me too, i could give a flying fuck what ignorant jocks think of my dj sets or my tailored clothes.
Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
But I would think a serial killer probably wants to be feared, despised and generally infamous, right?
At least, that's the impression I get from TV shows and films about them, dunno how true it is to life.
So they still care what people think of them, even if it's in a radically different way from most people.
I think it all varies according to situation. For instance, I've known people who were ultra-confident (sometimes annoyingly so) at work, or chatting up women, who literally couldn't sit in a pub on their own - they'd freak out and imagine everyone was looking and sneering at them for being 'billy no mates'. They'd start sending 'Where are you??' texts (I'm talking 5 minute delays) or deliberately turn up late just to avoid that scenario. Then, no worries, they'd be Mr Sociability as soon as you turned up.
Similarly, there's hard men who genuinely don't give a fuck about anyone, and will put themselves at risk of arrest or a serious beating to prove that point, who'll then turn bright red and stammer if a pretty girl smiles at them.
And as Nick Zedd once said, GG Allin didn't despise his audience at all, in fact he gave them far too much love and attention
Similarly, there's hard men who genuinely don't give a fuck about anyone, and will put themselves at risk of arrest or a serious beating to prove that point, who'll then turn bright red and stammer if a pretty girl smiles at them.
And as Nick Zedd once said, GG Allin didn't despise his audience at all, in fact he gave them far too much love and attention
Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
And poo. Don't forget the poo.
N
nomadologist
Guest
ok, now I get where the difference is starting, looking at what barry and turtles just said. i was raised by insane italians. you did not DARE let on that you cared about what anyone did or said to you, because from the moment you were born, you were ridiculed day in and day out. if you ever even pretended to take yourself seriously or have ambition, that made it all a million times worse. the emotional extremes i had to live with on a daily basis were pretty scary for a little kid. i remember once my mom throwing a mustard jar and smashing it right next to my head on the wall over like nothing.
that is the why being "sensitive" never really developed. in all my WASPy friends, i see they have that "sensitive" thing...
that is the why being "sensitive" never really developed. in all my WASPy friends, i see they have that "sensitive" thing...
barry_abs
lil' beyutch
what is WASPy?
Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
Of, or relating to, members of a confederation of West Germanic-speaking tribes which invaded sub-Roman Britain in the 5th century AD, and who adhere to the strain of Christian doctrine influenced by the writings of Martin Luther and John Knox.
barry_abs
lil' beyutch
i once worked with a holocaust revisionist.. a full blown racist who'd charmed me with his anecdotes about being "surrounded by negroes without his baseball bat"..
i photoshopped his face onto the cover of Mein Kampf and sent it about the office.. later, he snooped up behind me, put his hand on my shoulder and whispered death threats into my ear.. i flipped.. he went all "i was only joking!"..
the man is a compulsive liar, unlicensed gun owner and genuine threat to society.. he earned some notoriety from his lie claiming to have produced an AI system capable of sniffing out paedos on chatrooms, actually making the pages of New Scientist, The Register, The Guardian etc.. he couldn't back anything up though
http://www.guardian.co.uk/life/badscience/story/0,12980,1182695,00.html
given the chance, i'd cave his head in with a mallet, Gnadenhutten massacre style..
N
nomadologist
Guest
it's actually just "white anglo-saxon protestant"
barry_abs
lil' beyutch
wait till you have kids and you replicate that kind of shit.. you'll feel a million dollars!
seriously though, your moms must have been pretty depressed at the time to do something so wreckless.. i got a friend, nigel, in manchester (whalley range) with crazy italian parents - he lived in fear around the house.. he reckoned his dad was an arms dealer or something - had no real job to speak of yet plenty of disposable cash and an automatic rifle hidden in the house.. nigel is a bit of an eccentric - loves ninjitsu.. practices in the park, diving around obstacles in full ninja uniform! bless him.. he got me into kung fu flicks like the Lone Wolf saga (shogun assassin), Ninja Hunter etc.
Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
swears
preppy-kei
That's funny, because my family would ridicule melodramtic behaviour as well, but in a totally calm, rational manner. Any sort of moaning or screaming was ignored or got the response "don't be so bloody soft". I remember falling over and scraping my knee at about age six and had blood pouring everywhere, I ran to show my my mum, crying my eyes out. She just shrugged it off and told me to stop being a baby. Any sort of emotional complaint was met with "wait until you get some real problems".
I think this is good way to raise kids, teach them the value of stoicism.