Bus drivers are cunts

Once I was on a replacement bus service to Guildford, which was stopping at every station on the way. Come Effingham Junction or somewhere, the driver does his little turn in the car park and pulls over at the bus stop, where the only person waiting is an old woman armed with a zimmerframe and a Topshop bag (!). After waiting from an absolute maximum of twenty seconds for the woman to reach the bus doors, the disgruntled driver just lost it and put his foot down, doors still open, leaving her coughing on his dust. Worst/best bit about this story is that I'd had to wait a good half an hour for this bus in the first place, so she probably had a similar wait. Poor cow...

Better story: A friend of mine actually made a bus driver quit once. Him and his mate were getting a bus from Camden to Highgate, and I think what happened is that his pal's oyster card didn't work, so he had to pay him with a note. The bus driver made a bit of a fuss about it while counting out the change, so my mate told him to cheer up, and it must have been the straw that broke the camel's back. Driver gets up, announces that this is it, he's sick of the cunts that come on his bus and take the piss out of him every day, and walks off, just leaving it running at the bus stop. Apparently people just sat there for about ten minutes to see if a replacement was coming before neatly filling off.

noel emits said:

They're short of kids in Russia. :slanted:

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Lucky bastards.

honestly haven't had much attitude from bus drivers here (nyc), some are totally jaded and basically ignore everyone/everything but some are actually friendly. i hate the ones who rock you back and forth the whole ride, always speeding up then slamming on the break instead of easing to a stop. and the ones who run the air conditioning at full blast when it's not that warm out and everyone sits there shivering.

that being said...twice this year i've been in buses that have gotten into accidents. some of these drivers figure because they're in a big rig, they can do what they want on the road, cut people off, change lanes at will, etc. both times the buses were too close to a parked car on a corner and totally sideswiped it as it took the turn. both times the drivers then casually pulled over and called the dispatcher, didn't seem very bothered by the whole thing.

btw, this is my choice for best dissensus thread title of 2007.

Immryr said:

am i the only one who finds it hilarious when bus drivers pull away from people who are walking towards the bus with their hands held out? its especially funny to me when the bus hasnt even started moving yet and pulls away all the same.

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i saw a bus driver in streatham do that to a bunch of special kids and their carers when he could plainly see they were waving and running towards the bus, the fucking twat. i was the only passenger on the bus.

London bus drivers have been outsourced; it used to be a pretty good job to have, but it's changed now, I'd read up about why no-one who drives a bus cares anymore really. I still love anyone who is good enough to have a job that I rely on, sorry, but I'd have to drive a car without them, and I hate what driving a car does to most people.

mistersloane said:

London bus drivers have been outsourced; it used to be a pretty good job to have, but it's changed now, I'd read up about why no-one who drives a bus cares anymore really. I still love anyone who is good enough to have a job that I rely on, sorry, but I'd have to drive a car without them, and I hate what driving a car does to most people.

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buses are the shittest form of transport in london. i'd rather walk, tube it or an unholy combination of both, and thats saying something.

but least of all, driving. my car is a rusting hulk permanently parked outside my house.

in fact transport in london is a constant tedious life wasting headache, full stop.


(sorry, had a bad journey today lol)

bassnation said:

i saw a bus driver in streatham do that to a bunch of special kids and their carers when he could plainly see they were waving and running towards the bus, the fucking twat. i was the only passenger on the bus.

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haha, classic.

Immryr said:

haha, classic.

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are you the kind of person who drinks in shoreditch and thinks "flid" jokes are funny? personally i felt like punching him in the face, but obviously i don't have such a well-developed sense of humour as you.

bassnation said:

are you the kind of person who drinks in shoreditch and thinks "flid" jokes are funny? personally i felt like punching him in the face, but obviously i don't have such a well-developed sense of humour as you.

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Of course it's not right to laugh the misfortune of others, but there is something very funny and absurd about people behaving like total bastards, you ever watched The Young Ones?

bassnation said:

buses are the shittest form of transport in london.

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Oh man! Come on! A sunny day, walkman, can of coke, sitting on the front of the bus upstairs? There's nothing much better in the world. Heh just don't rely on them for getting anywhere on time or anything like that.

I've had to get the nightbus home from Charing Cross countless times. Luckily, the stop at Charing Cross is only the second stop for the bus so I always manage to get on and get at seat, because by the time it's round the corner into Whitehall, it's packed!

I have very little problem with bus drivers, maybe I'm just lucky but I always seem to get the genuinely helpful ones. My worst experiences of bus drivers are (on nightbuses) when people haven't paid using those red machines by the bus shelter, the bus driver refuses to let them on...then these people refuse to get off, so (three times this has happened) the bus driver switches off the engine and starts an alarm, in the hope that some police officers will come past and deal with the problem...three times this has happened and not once have the police officers cared, which usually ends up with the bus driver driving with the fare-dodgers anyway!

tom pr said:

Better story: A friend of mine actually made a bus driver quit once. Him and his mate were getting a bus from Camden to Highgate, and I think what happened is that his pal's oyster card didn't work, so he had to pay him with a note. The bus driver made a bit of a fuss about it while counting out the change, so my mate told him to cheer up, and it must have been the straw that broke the camel's back. Driver gets up, announces that this is it, he's sick of the cunts that come on his bus and take the piss out of him every day, and walks off, just leaving it running at the bus stop. Apparently people just sat there for about ten minutes to see if a replacement was coming before neatly filling off.

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What a wonderful opportunity for a spot of busjacking!

I'm not really into driving myself, but I do have a little bit of a fantasy about banning all other traffic from central London for a day and going bus-racing (double-decker, natch) with a few mates. HOW GREAT would that be?

never learnt to drive so i've been at the mercy of public transport all me life

Manchester bus drivers are interchangable with London one's in temprement.
Once saw a guy try and get on a bus with an out of date ticket.. driver was having none of it so the guy spat at him (reprehensible obv.) the bus driver then spat back at the old ticket bloke, who then spat back ....a ten minute "spit war" ensued whilst the full bus looked on incredulous.....sorry i'm late my dear but.......

Sick Boy said:

Buses just aren't made for the size of my legs. Unless I get a spot at the back where I can put my feet up on the seat in front of me (the horror!), then I'm generally unhappy on buses.

That, and because bus drivers are cunts.

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AHAHA *points at tall person and laughs*

bassnation said:

are you the kind of person who drinks in shoreditch and thinks "flid" jokes are funny? personally i felt like punching him in the face, but obviously i don't have such a well-developed sense of humour as you.

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ahahahahahaha. to me it wouldnt have mattered if they were `special people` (as you called them, in a totally none patronising kind of way, of course) or not. in my original post i was talking about when the bus is already at a standstill having let some passengers on then pulls away from someone who is clearly about to step onto the bus, but its probably even funnier when they just flat out ignore the stop and go speeding by a bunch of pissed off people. personally i find that kind of thing pretty funny.

bus drivers in london are nice i thought. edinburgh ones are pretty much always moody and unwilling to help, though yeh don't blame them.

it can be just as bad when they forget to close the doors. I saw a guy with a backpack get on board a single decker in west end lane. He was still standing in front of the driver rooting around for change when the bus pulled away from the stop quickly and jinked around some parked cars. The bloke just flew out backwards the way he came in and landed in the street at our feet, narrowly missing a letter box and parking sign. He didn't get up and we had to call a meatwagon. Of course the driver didn't stop despite having seen a man go overboard himself - I think he went down for it though, we had a letter from the police (yeah, I snitched) asking if we wanted to know the verdict but I didn't follow it up.