Mood swings are awful, though. You can be happy as larry sitting at your desk sorting out boring crap, and miserable as fuck in social situations where it would be a lot more polite to be cheerful. There seems to be less and less correlation between my moods and the actual events in my life. It doesn't matter what's going on, you just have to hope your mood will be up when it needs to be up and down when it doesn't piss people off.
Armed response took ages though. I don't like police with guns, they scare me more than citizens with them for some reason.
Then I got on the tube and there was a bomb scare.
So today I went and watched the Burmese guys protesting for democracy outside the embassy in Mayfair. They were hard at it, and then they took a lunch break! On a protest for democracy! How great is that!
London feels like a film at the moment.
Don't stop talking to people about it, and try and keep a good handle on the things you can control. I found that was what brought me out of a time when I felt so miserable that nothing really felt good (or bad) anymore.
Things have always been a bit grim, of course. If it's not trans-global paranoia and idiots in the White House (Bush), it's the Domino Theory and idiots in the White House (Nixon). If it's not 40% unemployment in mid-80's New Zealand and Thatcher's Britain, it's AIDS in Africa and chest-thumping in Kashmir in 2007, and so on.
Hard one to figure out, of course. Don't stop trying...
re: armed police raids
happened in my street last year too.
i didn't notice until the daily mail rang my doorbell to see if i had anything nasty to say about any local brown people.
I've had a filthy cold and so have most people I see on a daily basis. Typical change of the season thing.
But I'm not bad apart from that. I've been spending too much time in the post office, but that's because Woofah has been a runaway success and people keep ordering it.
Plus, we constructed 90% of a shed at the weekend, which is pretty great in my book.
Oh yeah and I managed to play a few records together at the same tempo and all that shit, which is old news to everyone else in the world but I've never really been arsed about it before.
I think breaking patterns is quite a good way of throwing off them blues, and without sounding too pious we could probably all do with spending less time online, me included.
I have a jazz afficionado downstairs, he tries not to get angry about my loud techno because i never complain about loud jazz.
about counselling and all that.... i really felt it was a waste of time, a voice inside me was saying "do you think i haven't thought of THAT?" - i felt like my intelligence was being insulted.
this is probably totally wrong for others but for me talking about it is the worst thing to do, just get on with things, be busy, if you go on to your friends about being depressed, even the most caring and sympathetic ones will get tired of you eventually. pretend to have fun and soon you will forget you are pretending.
yes you deserve to be happy,swears, you are not a murderer or anything are you?
don't take antidepressants unless you're really mentally ill, doing dangerous things. if you're just having mood swings and getting depressed (even REALLY depressed) then... newsflash!! that's life, everyone has the same problem, be a man and deal with it (that applies to the ladies too).
i say this with 100% sympathy and empathy, i know all about being depressed, desperate, miserable and mental but you just have to decide not to let it ruin your life.
anyway, like frankie beverley says:
joy and pain are like sunshine and rain
so take the rough and turn it into ruff!
well true but he obviously made a wrong decision to work 4:30am until 7pm and should've changed his mind about it IMO
Actually, yeah - banging on and on and on about it to all and sundry probably won't help that much. I was lucky enough to have one or two people I was able to talk to in confidence and at length, and talking to them was the trigger for a fuller recognition of what was going on in my head. Just another way of bringing structure to an inchoate mass of feelings, which was the important thing for me; finding something to hang everything on...this is probably totally wrong for others but for me talking about it is the worst thing to do
Actually, Swears, coming on here and finding that I wasn't the only person in the world who dug on Scritti Politti was pretty cool! Even in the endlessly networked world we live in, it's still easy to feel alone and it's those small connections that have been keeping me going recently...