Work Appraisal

K

Kate Mossad

Well-known member
Aaaargh! I do a no prospects, clock watching shop assistant type job and have been told I'm due a work appraisal. I will need to identify personal goals, future objectives, strengths and weaknesses ad nauseum. What a waste of time! Any links to a site with some ready made answers I can tweak much appreciated. I Googled but all I got were links telling me "how to make the most of an appraisal" or how to give one.
Thanks in advance.
 
Mr. Tea

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
Fucking hell, I hate this kind of rubbish. Can't offer you much more than my sympathy, I'm afraid.

It all seems to be part of a very pernicious modern trend I've noticed whereby you are expected not merely to tolerate your job, viz. on the basis that you get money for it, but are meant to really love it, almost to pretend that you're so enthused and fulfilled by it you'd do it for nothing, and the salary happens to be a serendipitous extra.

I mean, it's one thing if you're climbing the career ladder to dizzying heights in some exciting new sector*, but as you say, you're a shop assistant, so what's the point?

*not trying to take the piss or anything, but you know what I mean, right?
 
M

martin

----
Work appraisals are bullshit, utter bullshit. Advice wise - is your boss a cunt? Is (s)he the kind of person who wants to hear stuff like "I enjoy the way my job combines continual learning with exposure to the public, allowing me to appreciate the diverse range of this shop's customers"? If so, can you swallow your soul and say it?

If they're vaguely OK, why not pre-empt and control this fucking shambles by asking them if they fancy a pint at lunchtime. You can bring it up then, say you're happy enough, you've sorted it informally, you get to avoid talking shit and keep your dignity, they have one less job to do when they get back, you get a pint out of them, everyone's happy

Luckily, this place is so disorganised I've never had one since I joined.
 
Leo

Leo

Well-known member
the other ridiculous/annoying trend is when management dweebs tell their underlings to write their own goals/objectives/strengths/weaknesses and then bring them in to discuss...what a load of shit, THAT's the job of a manager. they are the ones who are supposed to help employees on the road to improvement, come up with what they feel are appropriate goals for the employee's level/experience, etc. and they pawn that off on the employee under the guise of "we want your input."

a dialogue is fine, but this "do my work for me" thing is bullshit.

sorry to rant...
 
K

Kate Mossad

Well-known member
martin said:
"I enjoy the way my job combines continual learning with exposure to the public, allowing me to appreciate the diverse range of this shop's customers"
Click to expand...

LIke it!

Thanks for the feedback everyone. Perhaps this thread could turn into a valuable resource over time.

My manager's cool, in fact I'm pretty sure he feels the same way as me. However it's a big organisation so hoops have to be jumped through. This is especially true the higher up/more visible you are.
 
M

mms

sometimes
these things are utterly wrong, an absolutely false hieracical situation in which you're supposed to do a song and dance for more money, while the boss tries to pull the carpet from under yr feet and the wind from your sails.
utterly without merit.
 
swears

swears

preppy-kei
lol, I just tprint the same garbage out every six months with a few minor changes.

Even my boss thinks these things are a load of cobblers.
 
john eden

john eden

male pale and stale
When asked for targets I usually reel off a few things which it has already been agreed I will do in the period concerned.

It's a good opening gambit and you can try and leave it there, or say "oh well I think I'll have my hands full with that really!" and laugh. Whoever is doing the appraisal will probably have to come up with a specific number of objectives so if you can list 5 at the outset that is good for both of you. It helps if they are a bit beyond the obvious bits of your job spec, but don't get too creative.

Someone I work with then uses the tactic of saying "hmm that's good but maybe we could think of some more?" he then leaves a loooooooong silence. It is crucial that you ride this silence like a masterful surfer. If you fill it with ideas then you will have more to do. One of my colleagues is a chronic chatterbox and leaves with 3 times as many targets as me.
 
Z

zhao

there are no accidents
kate you seem like a smart and articulate person, and it should be a piece of cheese cake telling these jack-asses what they want to hear no?

soul? what the fuck is that when you are trying to survive in the real world? it can be argued that you are preserving your soul by being insincere to make life easier, and working toward having more time to do the things you want to do in the future.
 
G

gek-opel

entered apprentice
Just turn it into a sarcastic exercise of immanent critique of the absurdity of such a thing for such a job. The key would be to take it far more seriously than they intend, to a bloated and cartoonish degree. Take it as seriously as you would in some ludicrous managerial-speech spouting city job maybe?
 
STN

STN

sou'wester
gek-opel said:
Just turn it into a sarcastic exercise of immanent critique of the absurdity of such a thing for such a job. The key would be to take it far more seriously than they intend, to a bloated and cartoonish degree. Take it as seriously as you would in some ludicrous managerial-speech spouting city job maybe?
Click to expand...

I've had jobs where I think this would be literally impossible. The satire would simply not be recognised, no matter how much I talked about 'ownership' of problems and used 'action' as a verb.
 
G

Gabba Flamenco Crossover

High Sierra Skullfuck
Eden is on point here with some useful advice. Commit to as little as possible and try to avoid specifics. This is an occasion where talking in management speak really comes into it's own, as you can bang on sounding fully engaged with the exercise without actually committing to anything concrete at all. Treat it as a test of how much garbage you can actually talk without sounding sarcastic.

I quit a job once because they were so into this shit. I was a stockroom manager, my job was to get things to where they needed to be when they needed to be there. It wasn't particularly difficult but I was on top of it and had things humming along nicely. Then they gave me a huge list of useless targets which I didn't have time to do alongside my actual job, so whichever one I did (targets vs. actual job) they'd bollock me for not doing the other one. So I quit, their stockroom fell apart, the customer complaints shot up and six months later the store shut down. Stupid fucking idiots.
 
B

bassnation

the abyss
Leo said:
the other ridiculous/annoying trend is when management dweebs tell their underlings to write their own goals/objectives/strengths/weaknesses and then bring them in to discuss...what a load of shit, THAT's the job of a manager. they are the ones who are supposed to help employees on the road to improvement, come up with what they feel are appropriate goals for the employee's level/experience, etc. and they pawn that off on the employee under the guise of "we want your input."

a dialogue is fine, but this "do my work for me" thing is bullshit.

sorry to rant...
Click to expand...

government is the worst for this kind of utter bullshit. i worked for the department of health for a few years and during their regular "sweep out the wheat and keep the chaff" reorganisations, they'd make staff re-apply for their own jobs via a thirty page (thats right, thirty fucking pages) form with exactly these kind of questions. things like "how have you personally valued diversity in your role" for vdu input clerks.
 
Mr. Tea

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
bassnation said:
government is the worst for this kind of utter bullshit. i worked for the department of health for a few years and during their regular "sweep out the wheat and keep the chaff" reorganisations, they'd make staff re-apply for their own jobs via a thirty page (thats right, thirty fucking pages) form with exactly these kind of questions. things like "how have you personally valued diversity in your role" for vdu input clerks.
Click to expand...

Christ almighty, it's as if they want you to think of your job as a means of ensuring the salvation of your immortal soul rather than a means of putting food on the table...
 
hucks

hucks

Your Message Here
bassnation said:
government is the worst for this kind of utter bullshit. i worked for the department of health for a few years and during their regular "sweep out the wheat and keep the chaff" reorganisations, they'd make staff re-apply for their own jobs via a thirty page (thats right, thirty fucking pages) form with exactly these kind of questions. things like "how have you personally valued diversity in your role" for vdu input clerks.
Click to expand...

So did I! We had a day's training to learn how to fill out the form...
 
C

Canada J Soup

Monkey Man
I just had my annual work appraisal the other day. My boss and I spent 25 of the 30 minutes we were supposed to allot to discussing it talking about what total bullshit they are.
 
N

noel emits

a wonderful wooden reason
Mr. Tea said:
It all seems to be part of a very pernicious modern trend I've noticed whereby you are expected not merely to tolerate your job, viz. on the basis that you get money for it, but are meant to really love it, almost to pretend that you're so enthused and fulfilled by it you'd do it for nothing, and the salary happens to be a serendipitous extra.
Click to expand...
Doesn't that Zizek character have something very similar to say about modern 'control' structures? It's no longer good enough to just do what you are told, you must enjoy it too. Grizzly.
 
mos dan

mos dan

fact music
Mr. Tea said:
It all seems to be part of a very pernicious modern trend I've noticed whereby you are expected not merely to tolerate your job, viz. on the basis that you get money for it, but are meant to really love it, almost to pretend that you're so enthused and fulfilled by it you'd do it for nothing, and the salary happens to be a serendipitous extra.
Click to expand...

like the pieces of 'flair' jennifer aniston has to wear on her uniform in 'office space'.

i watched that movie the night before i quit my last job.

that zizek link looks fascinating, it's a shame he doesn't believe in the tangible existence of paragraphs though.
 
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