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Thread: This week's most embarrassing criminal

  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by crackerjack View Post
    One of the papers seemed to think it was all down to the Queen. She was the root of all evil, Joss played royal events, ergo Joss must die.

    There's something in this, I feel.
    Its definitely one way to do it, isn't it? Like killing a tree by chewing its bark.

    "She also recovered a printout of a map of Devon, where the singer lives, that included the words: "Here Joss Stone.""

  2. #92
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    Can you imagine if they'd gone after R Kelly? That would've ended up properly surreal.

  3. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by baboon2004 View Post
    Can you imagine if they'd gone after R Kelly? That would've ended up properly surreal.
    the world would have imploded with fabulousness

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    Quote Originally Posted by mistersloane View Post
    He's no Peckham Terminator, is he?
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  7. #97
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    Stretching the thread, but not unto breakin point...

    Smash, smash... suh-mash. Yerrr.


    Seems I've lost the power of being able to embed video

  8. #98
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    Default The Man Who Fucked The Hornets' Nest

    Man stung to death in Sweden after apparently attempting sex with hornets' nest.

    Police are said to have found semen and the deceased man’s pubic hair on a few of the dead insects and at the opening of the nest.

    Unsurprisingly, the reports of the unfortunate event did not go down well with animal rights campaigners, who expressed concern for the hornets.
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    A PENSIONER was caught shampooing his privates on a bus after becoming irritated with his underpants.

    Philip Milne, 74, was travelling from Bletchley to Bedford when he began to have some issues with his briefs and unzipped his trousers to 'use some shampoo to soothe his groin area' because he did not have his ointment to hand.

    He was spotted by a mother and son who 'were chatting and heard there was something going on' and turned around to have a look, Bedford Magistrates' Court heard today (September 3).

    Prosecuting Camille Gifford said: "In essence the defendant was masturbating while on the bus.

    “He had his zip undone on his trousers and was rubbing his penis and his testicles."

    Milne, of Water Eaton Road, Bletchley, had earlier been to the swimming pool when he was found applying the hair-care product on August 13.

    Ms Gifford added: "He said he had some issues with some briefs he was wearing and he was using ointment to soothe the area.

    "He says he became irritated but didn't have the ointment and instead used some shampoo to soothe his groin.

    "The mother notified the bus driver who then notified the police and Milne was told to stay on the back of the bus.

    "He said he wasn't masturbating and resented everyone else on the bus for ganging up on him."

    Milne, who admitted guilt to the one charge of an act of outraging public decency, represented himself in court.

    He said: "I'm not disputing what was done was wrong but bear in mind I thought I was being discreet."

    Milne, who was described as 'semi-erect' during the act, added: "I was treated like a hardened criminal."


    Magistrates fined him £75. He will also have to pay £85 court costs and a £20 victim surcharge adding up to a total of £180.
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  11. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Tea View Post

    Milne, who was described as 'semi-erect' during the act, added: "I was treated like a hardened criminal."

    GET THE FUCK IN

    Wouldn't be surprised if the hack made that up knowing that the fella was never going to call in to correct it. But still. You'd have to, wouldn't you?

  12. #102
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  15. #105
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    ROOBAH DINGHY RAPIDS!! pt.1:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-34288380

    A man who tried to buy deadly ricin poison from the Dark Web after being inspired by the TV series Breaking Bad has been jailed for eight years.

    The court heard he approached the undercover agent in January with a private message, saying: "Hi, would you be able to make me some ricin and send it to the UK?"
    In a series of encrypted chats, they discussed the price of a lethal dose, discounts for bulk orders and ricin's "shelf life", jurors were told.

    At one point, Ali asked: "How do I test this ricin?" and received the instruction: "You must test it on a rodent."

    Around this time, Ali had made a to-do list on his computer which included the entries "paid ricin guy" and "get pet to murder", the court heard.
    ROOBAH DINGHY RAPIDS!! pt.2:

    A British fighter for so-called Islamic State has penned what seems to be a racially charged rant against Arabs - providing a surprising glimpse into tensions inside IS-held areas of Syria.
    Omar Hussain is one of at least 700 Britons thought to have travelled to Syria and Iraq to join militant groups. He's become an active voice in social media propaganda for the group, has called for terror attacks, has threatened Britain in interviews with the BBC, and defended beheadings and other Islamic State atrocities.
    But he recently posted a rant critical of Arabs and his Syrian hosts on a Tumblr page under his pseudonym, Abu Saeed al Britani.
    In the post, he gives a laundry list of complaints, broad stereotypes and misinformation. Syrians are "childish" and are known for "stealing shoes", nicking food and using other people's phone chargers, he says, and also accuses them of being messy and lazy.
    I never realized that ISIS was the true face of evil incarnate until now, but using other people's phone chargers???
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