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Thread: PE teachers = CUNTS

  1. #31
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    i was on report at school for some reason and i'd done really well that week,so at the end of what i thought was a really good PE lesson in which i'd applied myself alot and also the last lesson of the week- the pe teacher looked down the list of glowing to ok marks from the rest of the teachers and gave me one that would just take me over into trouble and another week of being on report.

    i was well angry and when i had to go the head with the report, i had a whole bunch of people with me who supported me in saying that i hadn't deserved that mark. And i won, the head was impressed at the lobby i'd formed he let me off.

    so pe teachers better not try it with me.

  2. #32
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    Had an ex-marine PE teacher who despised kids, really really hated us. Used to swear at the top of his voice in a really violent manner at us "GET OFF THAT FUCKIN' CRICKET FIELD YOU CUNTS" - to 12 year olds. There was the constant threat of surprise swimming lessons (in an outdoor, unheated pool) - if anyone forgot to bring their kit for swimming that day they did it in their pants.

    Just wouldn't be allowed these days, hes probably dead or in prison now. At least he didn't have favourites, he hated everyone equally regardless of sporting prowess.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by brown neon View Post
    kids are cunts too tho, the cheeky scamps.
    I love this post being presented next to your avatar.

    Great thread too, my stepdad was a PE teacher! Luckily he's not a cunt, but he must have been exposed to dozens of them in his time so no wonder he had a bloody breakdown. Two out of the four I had at school were cunts; unfortunately it was one of the non-cunts that got the brunt of it from the kids because he was short, fat and not nearly as threatening as the two cunts. Highlights included a boy famed for having the hardest shot at the school smacking a ball into his face after teach slipped over in the playground, and a little Indian boy belting a volley ball at him mid-way through a dressing down.

    There was no PE at the place I did sixth form, but the guy who taught Sports Science and coached the footie team was too close to the kids. Not in a paedo type of way but in a desperate to be young type of way; turning up at house parties and stuff. His favourites used to hang out in his jeep at lunch, and one time after encouraging a pizza eating contest between a few of the team, one of them vommed all over the back seat. That was a laugh.
    in the eyes of the lord i drive a spaceship.

  4. #34
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    We had a total arsehole teaching PE at our school - he wasnt a paedo, more of an all round sadist, and he lived across the road from a friend of mine who was a bit of a wrong 'un.

    So anyway, one night my mate and a few others nicked his hubcaps in a general teenage prank. A few weeks later he (my mate) was driving back from somewhere on some kind of drugs, crashed his car and torched it, and made out it had been nicked to claim insurance.

    So this PE teacher comes round to his house and was saying 'I think the people who nicked my hubcaps ware the same people who took your car' all amateur detective. And my mate was nodding at him straight faced going 'Hmmm, maybe you're right, yeah!'. Hilarious.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edward View Post
    ah now that could be a good thread, times you told it like it really was to a teacher.

    i almost feel guilty about things i said to some teachers but they did need to hear it.
    I did a bit of work with a group who were helping out *wayward* youth for a while, and one of the projects was videoing them telling the teachers exactly what they thought of them, and the teachers had to watch it, it was a fucking brilliant scheme, we had such a fucking laugh. Community action works

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by martin View Post
    Aren't they just the lowest form of life? Braindead beery army rejects.

    We had one who liked Northern Soul, which is why I think Northern Soul is shit and only wankers listen to it. He used to lock me and a couple of cronies in the music room (a boiler room) and make us write pointless essays, like "Why I think the Winter Olympics is important" as a punishment for drifting off the pitch during the tedious 25-a-side football matches. The cunt also once bounced a football off my head because I had better things to do than listen to his Graham Taylor impersonations.

    We had one in primary school who was later outed as a paedophile, the sadistic piece of filth used to pull kids' shorts down and spank them with a plastic cricket bat. Turns out later he was also filming it on a Betamax camera.

    The scumbag in "Kes" was way, way too sympathetic. How cuntish were yours?
    i had a scottish PE teacher, an absolute sadist who has pretty much destroyed any interest or enthusiasm i might have had for sport, the wanker. we used to do these stupid games where we had to line up and the first person would pass the ball under their legs, the next person over their head etc. i couldn't understand the instructions he was bellowing in his thick glaswegian accent and always ended up doing the wrong thing at which point he'd blow his fucking whistle, come over and scream in my face for five minutes. he used to make the fat kids climb up the ropes and encouraged the rest of the class to point at them and laugh. divide and rule was his PE philosphy and he excelled at it. plus he was good at devising tortorous punishments like sitting against the wall as if there was a chair, but there wasn't, for five minutes until your legs felt like they were going to fall off. he split a kids head open with a spring from one of the trampolines. i used to attempt anything to get out of PE, such as recyling sick notes from my mam, or hiding in the showers until everyone had left, or "forgetting" my kit, the latter backfiring spectacularly as then he'd make me wear a pair of skanky shorts with no top, in fucking winter, the cunt, to play rugby. later i perfected the art of truancy.

    i saw him a few years back serving behind the counter in a texaco garage. i knew he recognised me and briefly i considered grabbing him by the throat and beating seven shades of shit out of him, but then i thought, i am never going down to his level and i am a bigger man than that. in some ways it brought it all to a close in my mind, being able to see him for what he was - a pathetic unhappy individual. i think being a cunt is punishment enough.

    not that i'm bitter, or in any way traumatised, you understand.
    Last edited by bassnation; 09-02-2008 at 02:52 PM.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by bassnation View Post
    i had a scottish PE teacher, an absolute sadist who has pretty much destroyed any interest or enthusiasm i might have had for sport, the wanker. we used to do these stupid games where we had to line up and the first person would pass the ball under their legs, the next person over their head etc. i couldn't understand the instructions he was bellowing in his thick glaswegian accent and always ended up doing the wrong thing at which point he'd blow his fucking whistle, come over and scream in my face for five minutes. he used to make the fat kids climb up the ropes and encouraged the rest of the class to point at them and laugh. divide and rule was his PE philosphy and he excelled at it. plus he was good at devising tortorous punishments like sitting against the wall as if there was a chair, but there wasn't, for five minutes until your legs felt like they were going to fall off. he split a kids head open with a spring from one of the trampolines. i used to attempt anything to get out of PE, such as recyling sick notes from my mam, or hiding in the showers until everyone had left, or "forgetting" my kit, the latter backfiring spectacularly as then he'd make me wear a pair of skanky shorts with no top, in fucking winter, the cunt, to play rugby. later i perfected the art of truancy.

    i saw him a few years back serving behind the counter in a texaco garage. i knew he recognised me and briefly i considered grabbing him by the throat and beating seven shades of shit out of him, but then i thought, i am never going down to his level and i am a bigger man than that. in some ways it brought it all to a close in my mind, being able to see him for what he was - a pathetic unhappy individual. i think being a cunt is punishment enough.

    not that i'm bitter, or in any way traumatised, you understand.
    after reading this whole thread, i guess england is different... i swear half of my gym teachers were fairly mellow lesbians... and for some reason the old school sadist dudes either liked me (i was very good at floor hockey) or simply left me alone...

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by petergunn View Post
    after reading this whole thread, i guess england is different... i swear half of my gym teachers were fairly mellow lesbians...
    Not that different: we took the lesbianism as read. Not sure about the mellowness.

  9. #39
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    I once had this borderline psychopathic martial arts teacher who came in to teach my P.E. class self-defence, and I came in late and laughed when he told the class he got syphilis from a librarian so he used me as a helper to demonstrate to the class all fuckin 21 or something pressure points.

    Wanker.

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by petergunn View Post
    after reading this whole thread, i guess england is different... i swear half of my gym teachers were fairly mellow lesbians... and for some reason the old school sadist dudes either liked me (i was very good at floor hockey) or simply left me alone...
    well, i grew up in south wales and i don't think its that different to england. are you a girl by the way peter? (that sounds like some kind of classroom taunt, but its just you talk about having lesbian gym teachers - in my youth female teachers taught females, and vice versa).

  11. #41
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    [QUOTE=bassnation;125882]well, i grew up in south wales and i don't think its that different to england. are you a girl by the way peter? (that sounds like some kind of classroom taunt, QUOTE]


    Yeah! Take your earring out!

  12. #42
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    [QUOTE=STN;125883]
    Quote Originally Posted by bassnation View Post
    well, i grew up in south wales and i don't think its that different to england. are you a girl by the way peter? (that sounds like some kind of classroom taunt, QUOTE]


    Yeah! Take your earring out!
    have you brought enough chewing gum for everybody? no? well spit it in the bin, theres a good girl.

  13. #43
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    Something funny, bassnation? Why don't you share it with the rest of us?

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    Quote Originally Posted by STN View Post
    Something funny, bassnation? Why don't you share it with the rest of us?
    Extra points of you actually do. My speciality at school was failing (not always intentionally) to recognise rhetorical questions:

    "Would you like to move to the front of the class?"
    "No thanks, I'm fine where I am."
    *pause*
    "Move to the front of the class!"
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  15. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by crackerjack View Post
    Not that different: we took the lesbianism as read. Not sure about the mellowness.
    yeah my gym teacher at junior school was def a lesbian but a married one.

    i was walking down the street 8 years ago or so and this teacher who i hated, he used to pick on me started going a bit mental at me, it was weird.
    i remember his daughter at 6th form had really massive issues and she told him she knew me and he was quite mean about me, she was absolutely off her rocker with no control, one of those girls that got so out of it, she had to be taken away in an ambulance on more than one occasion, something was wrong there.

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