PE teachers = CUNTS

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
Something funny, bassnation? Why don't you share it with the rest of us?

Extra points of you actually do. My speciality at school was failing (not always intentionally) to recognise rhetorical questions:

"Would you like to move to the front of the class?"
"No thanks, I'm fine where I am."
*pause*
"Move to the front of the class!"
 

mms

sometimes
Not that different: we took the lesbianism as read. Not sure about the mellowness.

yeah my gym teacher at junior school was def a lesbian but a married one.

i was walking down the street 8 years ago or so and this teacher who i hated, he used to pick on me started going a bit mental at me, it was weird.
i remember his daughter at 6th form had really massive issues and she told him she knew me and he was quite mean about me, she was absolutely off her rocker with no control, one of those girls that got so out of it, she had to be taken away in an ambulance on more than one occasion, something was wrong there.
 

STN

sou'wester
Always admired people who could respond to the 'perhaps you'd like to teach the class?' by marching to the front, writing their name on the blackboard, and telling everyone to go home.
 

bassnation

the abyss
yeah my gym teacher at junior school was def a lesbian but a married one.

i was walking down the street 8 years ago or so and this teacher who i hated, he used to pick on me started going a bit mental at me, it was weird.
i remember his daughter at 6th form had really massive issues and she told him she knew me and he was quite mean about me, she was absolutely off her rocker with no control, one of those girls that got so out of it, she had to be taken away in an ambulance on more than one occasion, something was wrong there.

the strangest post-leaving school encounter i had was with this history teacher. he was awful as a teacher, one of those who've just become totally cynical and given up. he used to read in a monotone and we had to write it down, period (elizabethan maybe lol), no teaching involved. i used to think i had no interest in history back then cos he made it sound so utterly boring.

anyway a couple of years after leaving school, i was down the pub in the afternoon with my friends and he was there by himself, so drunk he could hardly stand up. he staggered over to me, poked me in the chest and told me he knew i'd never come to anything, cos your scum sonny, that kind of thing. he had to be politely informed that being mindlessly pissed at 3pm in the afternoon does not allow one to be self-righteous in such judgements. maybe his wife had left him, or something, who knows?
 

crackerjack

Well-known member
Aren't there some teachers on the dissensus boards? Time we heard from you...

PE teachers: scum of the staffroom or what?
 

mms

sometimes
the strangest post-leaving school encounter i had was with this history teacher. he was awful as a teacher, one of those who've just become totally cynical and given up. he used to read in a monotone and we had to write it down, period (elizabethan maybe lol), no teaching involved. i used to think i had no interest in history back then cos he made it sound so utterly boring.

anyway a couple of years after leaving school, i was down the pub in the afternoon with my friends and he was there by himself, so drunk he could hardly stand up. he staggered over to me, poked me in the chest and told me he knew i'd never come to anything, cos your scum sonny, that kind of thing. he had to be politely informed that being mindlessly pissed at 3pm in the afternoon does not allow one to be self-righteous in such judgements. maybe his wife had left him, or something, who knows?

yeah i had two history teachers at 6th form - chalk and cheese - one read from two books for two years, the other one did the same but with animation and encouragement and let you argue. The teaching at my 6th form seemed over managed and set in stone and the teachers seemed as if they had no real choice in their defence. My early love of history came from a teacher who used to just let you guess and fill in the gaps and let you know whether you were right or wrong after, this was a junior school.
History is such an interesting and utterly intriguing subject and i went on to do it at uni regardless of the shitness of the teaching, but then the curriculum at the time, dunno if it is the same now, was utterly empirical even at a level, just wars conquests that sort of thing, not very involving.

I did some work experience as a teacher at 6th form too and it's that kind of teacher that put me off, teaching, the sort of person that would read dates and facts from a book and then go on about how kids have no interest in learning about history. I just didn't ever want to become that jaded person.

One teacher tried to sue me after school as he blamed me for all this shit that had happened to him after i called his son a cunt, he was really paranoid, thought i was a bad one cos i didn't sing the national anthem once that sort of thing.
 
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Gavin

booty bass intellectual
thought i was a bad one cos i didn't sing the national anthem once that sort of thing.
Hah, I got a lot of shit about this too.. And not saying the Pledge of Allegiance.

The gym teachers I had were either mellow lesbians or fat former jocks. The latter were terrible, I remember in middle school the gym teacher encouraging the mouthbreathers to bully the biggest outcast student (I was continually thankful he was in my class because he took 90% of all the shit, quite a martyr really), and then writing the poor kid up for swearing as he got his ass kicked. A turning point of sorts, as I began to see a lot of teachers as grown up bullies after that. In high school the male gym teacher was an English soccer player notorious for having female students sit on his lap.
 

Sick Boy

All about pride and egos
after reading this whole thread, i guess england is different... i swear half of my gym teachers were fairly mellow lesbians...

You might be onto something here! I know one P.E. teacher in England, personally, and she happens to be a mellow lesbian.
 

STN

sou'wester
Oh, I've got two PE lames to fame actually. One of our teachers was Jonathan Edwards (the religious triple-jumper or whatever)'s brother and the other one is that geezer in the trailer you always used to see at the cinema where he tries to take a pirated copy of trainspotting back to a market stall.

Anyway, they were both pretty alright blokes and neither of them stayed that long. Coincidence?
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
In high school the male gym teacher was an English soccer player notorious for having female students sit on his lap.

Eh? That's a vital part of 'soccer' training, ask anyone.

God, you colonials know nothing about football, do you?
 
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Gavin

booty bass intellectual
Eh? That's a vital part of 'soccer' training, ask anyone.

God, you colonians know nothing about football, do you?

I shared a ferry going over the English channel with a class of about 30 British 9-year-olds who were eager to prove the superiority of their culture. My favorite quote: "Your football seems a bit pussy -- how can you hit 'em proper with all that armour they wear?"
 

don_quixote

Trent End
Aren't there some teachers on the dissensus boards? Time we heard from you...

PE teachers: scum of the staffroom or what?


sorry, surfing a few old threads and hey, i wasn't a proper teacher when this first thread came up.

pe teachers have good discipline in their classes usually because the ones who cause a riot in other classrooms want to do well in sport. the people who don't behave in pe are usually the ones who don't want to be there. it's also even easier to discipline as a pe teacher as my punishment of throwing them out the classroom doesn't even compare to making them run around the field 3 times or equivalent. also they can get away with wearing trainers.

we have one at our school who all the kids (with a clue) are shit scared of. i do break duty with him and think he's awesome. the persona you portray in the classroom/on the sportsfield isn't close to what it really is.

that said i can't see him doing half the things that have been described here.

my rubbishy pe story is that i was basically a bland droid for two years of school in my pe teachers eyes, didn't know who i was, didn't care - i wasn't on the football team. i didn't show any particular gift or skill and so i got shuffled to the bottom of the pile. also i brought my kit and didn't just stand around, which is what my mate did and he ended up with short shrift, usually involving running around the field or such bullying punishments. anyway, partway through year 8 we had swimming. not only was i faster than everyone else, i then rounded it off by swimming 3 lengths underwater. this blew his mind and suddenly it was "sam this, sam that". pretty cool feeling.
 

Corpsey

bandz ahoy
Most of the PE teachers at my school either got sacked for fucking 17 year old girls, or got away with it.

Although I lived in fear of being screamed at by PE teachers I actually got on alright with most of them. I really dreaded doing P.E. for most of my time at school. One of the things that put me off playing sport for the rest of my life (alongside the competitive arsehole attitude of me school chums).

Classic memories of a scottish P.E. teacher screaming at my mate:

''LOOK AT ME IN THE EYAS WYEN UM TALKIN TU YUUU!''

''DON'T LOOAK AT MEAH LIKE A PIESE OV DURT!''

''LOOK AT ME WYEN UM TAKIN TUYUUUUUUUUUUUARGHHH!''

ETC.
 

mms

sometimes
my woodwork teacher at school had a vendetta against me, just continually used to try and make me to conform to whatever trivial standard he'd decided i should conform to and criticise everything i did on the grounds of having the wrong shoes or whatever, regardless of my actions.

He was bald and people from school used to call him up and say shit like 'we've found your hair' etc, he wasn't much liked really, an angry self righteous dick.
I was drunk once at a party and called his son who was the bus driver taking us back from the party a cunt and he called up my parents saying he was gonna sue me and how i was responsible for calling his house and saying silly things, which i never did, luckily my dad just thought he was a massive twat and told him where to go.
 

rubberdingyrapids

Well-known member
i had one whose face i can still remember vividly. once had a football go smack into my face HARD (i fucking hated football lol) and all he did was laugh.

cunt.

though it made me get better at headers.
 

Sick Boy

All about pride and egos
my woodwork teacher at school had a vendetta against me, just continually used to try and make me to conform to whatever trivial standard he'd decided i should conform to and criticise everything i did on the grounds of having the wrong shoes or whatever, regardless of my actions.

My woodwork teacher was a cunt too. He had his own brand of sadistic punishment where he would make you put screws into a picnic table and then the next poor bastard would have to remove them all. One time I was on screw duty and decided to bend pennies in half in a nearby vice. He caught me and flew into a rage asking me who said I could use the vice. I told him that I hadn't used the vice, I'd just squeezed them between my arse cheeks.

I've never screwed in and removed so many screws in my life. Actually maybe kids really are the cunts.
 
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