creativity habits/curves/tricks

swears said:

I find the mentality behind leering at women, making comments, groping them self-defeating. Why would you want to put yourself in a situation where you come off as desparate, overwhelmed, overpowered by a woman's beauty to the point where you can't control yourself? Looking like a sad bastard who's never seen an attractive woman before?

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I don't think we're talking about titans of logical thought here...

I think the very act of leering/making the comment/whatever is what arouses these people.

how common is it for pretty girls to be explicity abused by other girls in the street?

UFO over easy said:

This is just so, so weird as well. Has anyone had it happen to them in London? A close friend, who's really beautiful, moved to Paris in September to study for a year and it's happened to her three times already..

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Even worse than the fact that it happens, or the frequency with which it happens, is the reaction you get from the MTA authorities if you try to get something done about it afterward by telling the station manager where the guy is, etc. (A lot of them stand on the subway platform and wait until you're sitting facing at the platform.) Reactions I've gotten range from a shrug to a disaffected snicker.

I feel bad mostly for the innocent bystanders, like tourists' kids who have to accidentally catch a glimpse of that. If it makes me want to puke I don't know what they must feel.

STN said:

I think the very act of leering/making the comment/whatever is what arouses these people.

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I've noticed that the only time these people actually work up the courage to say anything to you, or make any "real" gesture toward trying to hit on you, it's always in the presence of at least one other male. It always comes off more as macho display for the other guy (dude I'm so not gay!) than it does a real attempt to possibly get your number or date you.

Lame. And pathetic.

tht said:

how common is it for pretty girls to be explicity abused by other girls in the street?

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Depends on how close said street is to The Hole* or Metropolitan.

*I'm pretty sure the H is closed now.

and how about the intrafeminine network of diminshing glances? time spent with fit girls in public spaces suggests the stares are more plaintive than caustic, and if they're from x ethnic group then adolescents and seniles of the same group tend to be amusingly deferent

STN said:

cockfactory

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Brilliant word.

speaking of cross-ethnic leers, i actually appreciate the more direct, frank approach that black and hispanic men seem to take over the silent ogling that old white men think they "get away without" as it magically escapes everyone's notice in their minds (at least that's how they act as if they're thinking)

i prefer the tendency of black men in my experience to just have out with it, loudly, candidly, and while making eye contact, even as over-the-top as the wordchoice may be. at least sometimes it's funny that way.

bassnation said:

hey, i never said its what i believe. thanks for the nuanced and well-thought out argument though.

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Mating display, i.e. driven by the testicles. Never mind :slanted:

Back to the OP... I hardly ever get stuck on a design problem for more than a day. Normally a nights sleep or even a nap is enough for something to pop out. Procrastination comes back to boredom (no challenge) and lack of longer term goals. Oh, and self discipline. The adage that "bad habits run deep" comes to mind.

Re the creative process, by nature I'm very introverted so for half my life have been aiming to think less and act more instinctively - have probably gone too far, hahaha. I hate "brainstorming"; it's always seemed like a bizarre attempt to commoditise and force creativity and it never works (for me). The best ideas come in their own time, either out of the blue, as tangents from something else (e.g. remembering the taste of a delicious pie and then translating that pleasurable feeling into a design appropriate for the task at hand), or during play. It's corny to say, but it is a zen/unconscious thing.

Deadlines don't always bring out the best... but I do get things done. For many years I was able to brag I had never missed a deadline. However once there was a crack in that dam it was all over. Now I have a queue. People who complain the loudest go to the front of it.

It really varies from person to person. Some take a completely anal(ytical) problem-solving approach to the process. I simply can't work like that.

zhao said:

wait i don't understand this. how is telling your GF or female friend they are "really beautiful" = acting as if you own them?

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I assume it was the "sorry mate" bit, i.e. apologising to the bloke for complimenting his girlfriend.
I can kind of see where he (STN) is coming from, though I think it's a bit of an overreaction.

Mr. Tea said:

I assume it was the "sorry mate" bit, i.e. apologising to the bloke for complimenting his girlfriend.
I can kind of see where he (STN) is coming from, though I think it's a bit of an overreaction.

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overreaction, eh?
YOU FASCIST BASTARD!!!! etc etc
Well, it's just (in Peggy Mitchell voice) I'm not 'er fackin keeper am i? Why are permission requests being made to me to talk to someone I'm sitting with? Either you think it's alright, in which case go ahead or you don't think it's alright in which case, don't.

(by 'you' I mean 'the bloke doing it' not Mr Tea and Zhao...)

I think when you're in a relationship with someone - an exclusive, half-way serious relationship, I mean - you do in a sense 'belong' to each other, though obviously not in the same sense as owning a car or a house, or even a dog. I mean, I can talk about 'my' girlfriend without it being taken to imply that I own her, and I am 'her' boyfriend in exactly the same way.

So the think about apologising to the boyfriend of the woman you're complimenting is just done out of politeness, so as to say, in effect, "I am paying you (to the woman) the compliment that you're very attractive, and you (to the bloke) the compliment that you have an attractive partner, while acknowledging that the pair of you are a couple, so as to protect me from any suspicion of sleaziness".

Zhao: this is just how emotionally retarded honkies tip-toe around the excruciating intricacies of their arcane social conventions.