Worst Film You've Ever Seen

IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
"Requiem For A Dream is the only film I've ever walked out of a cinema in disgust at. Horrible, cynical emotional porn that thinks it's deep"
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Glad to see some hate for this - another one that everyone seems to like but which is obviously a total waste of time. Not sure it actually belongs amongst the worst of all time but definitely really bad.

"If you're talking about emotional porn, I'd have to say the worst one I've seen for that (and probably the film I least enjoyed watching, even if it wasn't technically the most badly made) is Happiness. Just utterly appalling, smugly amoral oh-look-how-funny-fucked-up-miserable-people's-pathetic-lives-are cynical trash"
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You're wrong. It's a good film and it is genuinely funny. It's quite good to compare RFAD and Happiness and see how the latter is clever where the first just goes for shocks instead.
 
hucks

hucks

Your Message Here
Mr. Tea said:
If you're talking about emotional porn, I'd have to say the worst one I've seen for that (and probably the film I least enjoyed watching, even if it wasn't technically the most badly made) is Happiness. Just utterly appalling, smugly amoral oh-look-how-funny-fucked-up-miserable-people's-pathetic-lives-are cynical trash.
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Yes! Shittest film ever! Sneering, nasty piece of crap. Lord of the Rings 2 is totally forgiven.

Edit: Notice there are a few people defending it here. Hmmph...
 
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M

mistersloane

heavy heavy monster sound
Pretty much anything Derek Jarman ever made I think are good contenders. I detest Sans Soleil by Chris Marker as well, but my least favourite film ever is Antonioni's Red Desert.

Worst film ever made though is 10,000BC. Hands down.

Still haven't seen Heaven's Gate though, I always wanted to do a screening of it somewhere. I love Plan 9. And thought Waterworld was pretty brill as well! I think my taste got reversed after I became a Satanist.
 
nochexxx

nochexxx

harco pronting
Gabba Flamenco Crossover said:
Requiem For A Dream is the only film I've ever walked out of a cinema in disgust at. Horrible, cynical emotional porn that thinks it's deep. If Nomadologist ever made a film, it would be Requiem For A Dream.
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yeah that film totaly sucked and rather annoyingly my sister thinks it's an excellent piece of work.

another film that annoys me in similarly way is oldboy.
 
IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
"yeah that film totaly sucked and rather annoyingly my sister thinks it's an excellent piece of work."
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I think that there ought to be a special category for films that everyone rates even though you can see through to the truth that it's a load of balls, in fact the film doesn't necessarily have to be that bad, it just has to be singificantly worse than its reception from the critics (in which I include people that you meet) would have you believe. To Requiem for a Dream which has cropped up several times I would add Lost In Translation (boring film about some hateful boring wankers) and There Will Be Blood (nothing wrong with it as such, just not the new paradigm in cinema that some would have you believe).
You can't have Oldboy though because I thought that that was pretty good.

"fuist already"
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What does that mean?
 
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noel emits

a wonderful wooden reason
hucks said:
Yes! Shittest film ever! Sneering, nasty piece of crap.
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Re - Happiness, I didn't like it myself, but isn't that ^ kind of the point?

I hate lots of films and thankfully can't remember most of them or why. As for semi-sacred cows I thought 'Eternal Sunshine' was a load of faux-profound bollocks.
 
P

Pestario

tell your friends
I'll throw Magnolia out there. I didn't mind it but I saw it on dvd having never heard of it before. Only later did I find out there was so much hype about it being a masterpiece or whatever.
 
D

droid

Guest
Nearly all the films mentioned here have at least one redeeming feature, be it acting, dialogue, soundtrack, cinematograpy, make up etc... the truly bad film has none at all - not even the vague charm of a really badly put together amateur effort.

And so - I give you this. Worst film ever (even by 'cult' standards):

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When Max Taylor (Young) wins the ancestral home of Callum Chance (Lee) in a game of Poker, little does he realise that the game is far from over. One by one, Max's family are murdered by the Funny Man (James), a demonic jester with a varied and imaginative repertoire of homicidal techniques and an irreverent sense of humour. Meanwhile, Max's brother (Devitt) is on his way to the mansion with a bunch on hitchhikers who will be lucky to survive the night.
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IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
"Nearly all the films mentioned here have at least one redeeming feature, be it acting, dialogue, soundtrack, cinematograpy, make up etc... "
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I think if a film was truly terrible on all of the other counts it would take some pretty spectacular make-up to redeem it. Never seen Funny Man but I guess that's not a bad thing - it sounds a bit like The Music of Chance except rubbish.
I enjoyed Magnolia but it's not totally brilliant, is it as highly rated as all that, I dunno?
 
Mr. Tea

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
noel emits said:
Re - Happiness, I didn't like it myself, but isn't that ^ kind of the point?
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It would kind of be acceptable if it were funny as well, but as it was I think it was a bit like watching a news report about some horrific sex crime and going "Lol, rape!".

In fairness, there is one funny bit where the attractive, ostensibly successful sister who writes trashy novels says she wished she'd be sexually abused as a child, so she'd have something to write about. But that was about it.
 
N

noel emits

a wonderful wooden reason
I don't know why I'm defending it because I didn't particularly enjoy it as a movie either, but again I think that is the point. It's not supposed to be LOL funny, it's supposed to be uncomfortable. I think it's quite an American form of dry-heave yuks.

Maybe you're right and it's just crap. I sort of compared the humour to something like Andy Kaufman, who was rarely actually funny but always seemed to be making a point of some kind.
 
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Mr. Tea

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
Yeah, maybe. Thing is, though, I love distasteful humour, so I'm certainly not just being a prude - South Park, The League Of Gentlemen, (Blue) Jam/Brass Eye/The Day Today, Derek & Clive - bring it on, motherfucker. :D
 
Z

zhao

there are no accidents
Requiem For a Dream was an excellent book by Herbert Selby Jr. which gets to the harrowing bottom of consumerism and addiction, and the film was a faithful and powerful adaptation.
 
IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
I think Happiness was an uncomfortable - possibly even bleak - and amoral film that took an unusual stance towards the subject matter and that, every now and again, had moments of real humour to sweeten the pill. The League of Gentlemen and South Park are clearly set in cartoony and unreal worlds where it is possible to go further in terms of "darkness" without affecting people in the same way so I don't think that it's necessarily that instructive to compare Happiness to them. The very extreme lengths that LofG goes to to be nasty at times actually undermines that effect because it makes the whole experience less realistic and thus less likely to resonate with anyone watching. Some of the humour in LofG is almost in laughing at the way that they have deliberately made it as horrible as possible even at the expense of humour - I'm not sure whether or not that is what is intended but that is how I take it.
 
IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
"Requiem For a Dream was an excellent book by Herbert Selby Jr. which gets to the harrowing bottom of consumerism and addiction, and the film was a faithful and powerful adaptation."
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He also wrote Last Exit To Brooklyn didn't he? I've heard the book is a lot better than the film in that case.
The guy who directed Requiem also did Pi right? I was expecting great things from that when I read the reviews but the film itself seemed a bit half-arsed.
 
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