entertainment

Well-known member
a small collection of odd headlines from the peculiar world of football:


"Zlatan Ibrahimovic Apologises for Calling France a Shit Country"

"Lukaku looking at 3-match ban over Bong hits" (hits on a player called Bong)

"New Bayern coach Heynckes at press conference: "My daughter and my wife advised me on my decision. Then my dog Cando barked twice and the deal was sealed."

"Asamoah Gyan denies murdering rapper in alleged human sacrifice"

"Lazio fans take revenge on referee Piero Giacomelli by downvoting his cafe on TripAdvisor"

"Dele Adebola: I do not have Ebola"

"Kurt Zouma banned from Manchester United star Paul Pogba’s house over furious game of Uno"

"Isaac Success was arrested following the Southampton game after an argument with four prostitutes in a hotel. He refused to pay them as he could not get it up after drinking two bottles of Baileys"

"Harry Redknapp says he wants to sign Benoit Assou-Ekotto for Birmingham City, but the player wishes to be a pornstar"

"Burnley boss Sean Dyche has a gravel voice because he eats worms says former team mate"

"Sean Dyche: "I don't eat worms and I never have."

"Balotelli is very nice, but he used to pee on our boots - Kerlon"

"Bryan Cabezas' transfer to Independiente falls through after his name is accidentally translated to ''Bryan Heads'' on the English version of the contract"

'I don't want a minute's silence when I die. I'd like a full minute of chanting "Warnock is a wanker"

"Former England footballer David Batty took two of his severed fingertips to show and tell at school and was awarded a Mars bar."
 

CORP$EY

no mickey mouse ting
mankoff stepping down as cartoon editor at the new yorker, his classic:

How-about-never-cartoon.jpg

No shots but I've never found a cartoon in the New Yorker remotely funny and this one's no exception. I'm totally bemused at the idea that anyone could find a cartoon in the NYer funny. Maybe it's a transatlantic thing?


This might have been posted in here before but never gets old IMO
 

Lichen

Well-known member
New Yorker cartoons are uniformly shit, and uptight.

I can't find my favourite P Eye cartoon, so....


A tailor weeps over a stack of epaulettes:

"First Jackson, now Gaddafi!"
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
One NYer cartoon that did really make me laugh was a this one:

gluten.jpg

I find the best gags in Private Eye are quite often the front cover:

galloway.jpg

We've definitely had Fenton unleashed in Richmond Park before, and probably this as well:


but it's worth reposting all the same.
 
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Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
and that experience, horrible to you, would have been absolutely hilarious if videotaped

Serious question: is the relief that something unpleasant is happening to someone else and not you the fundamental root of all humour?
 

Leo

Well-known member
Serious question: is the relief that something unpleasant is happening to someone else and not you the fundamental root of all humour?

not all humor, but probably a fair portion of it, i'm sure. some things are funny because they're really clever, or reveal a truth about a person or institution.

still, few things are funnier than watching someone walk into a sign post or slip on a banana peel.
 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
still, few things are funnier than watching someone walk into a sign post or slip on a banana peel.

A few tens of pages back there's a compilation video of people falling off treadmills. Now THAT is some funny shit.

Edit: because it would be cruel not to repost:

 

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
This one's a toss-up between Makes Me Chuckle and Does My Head In.

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