Olympics

IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
"In answer to your question though: dressage?"
Click to expand...
No, dressage is banned by rules 1, 3 and 5.
By the way, does anyone know what dressage is?

"Also, I think you're wrong about archery - I reckon there must be indigenous dudes from the Amazonian rain forests or the hill tribes of Burma or wherever who'd totally clean up in the archery events, given half a chance to compete."
Click to expand...
It is open to individual events to argue whether or not they fall into a given category and thus face a ban.

What's left in? Athletics (except triple-jump obviously), one swimming event in each distance, cycling I guess (although I've got my eye on that), some racket sports, hockey, volleyball, weight-lifting, judo, monkey tennis, boxing perhaps - I dunno, loads of stuff, probably needs more pruning if anything.
 
Last edited:
Mr. Tea

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
Ooh, good point, I'd forgotten about fighting sports.

Then again, boxing already has world championship title fights, doesn't it? Also, under rule 2, would you merge all the weight categories so basically only the really huge bastards would stand a chance?

And I wouldn't be surprised if most other martial arts already have their own world championship events that are regarded as more prestigious within the sport.
 
IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
"Then again, boxing already has world championship title fights, doesn't it? Also, under rule 2, would you merge all the weight categories so basically only the really huge bastards would stand a chance?"
Click to expand...
Well, that's why I said maybe - I think that some might argue about a distinction between pro and amateur but then there is the question of how to apply that across all events. I mean, you could ban all professionals which would be fine by me - then Olympic football for example would have even less credibility and hopefully be removed from the games. As for the weight thing, that's a problem for boxing itself to sort out in general, it's basically a joke sport anyway with so many federations and belts and stuff.

"And I wouldn't be surprised if most other martial arts already have their own world championship events that are regarded as more prestigious within the sport."
Click to expand...
Dunno, I get the impression that with minority sports like that they love the olympics and the chance to appear on tv and the idea that someone outside their immediate family might give a fuck what their result is. I could be wrong though.
 
Mr. Tea

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
IdleRich said:
Dunno, I get the impression that with minority sports like that they love the olympics and the chance to appear on tv and the idea that someone outside their immediate family might give a fuck what their result is. I could be wrong though.
Click to expand...

Sure, I guess so, but what I was getting at is that something like karate, which is clearly a minority sport in the UK, might be pretty huge in Japan, and (for all I know) there might be a Japan-based World Karate Federation that organises competitions which, within that sport, get much more recognition that the Olympics. Then again there might not, I have no idea.

I suppose a Western analogue might be darts; it would be pointless to introduce darts to the Olympics (not that it would be any less justified than many events already included) since there's already a darts world championship, but it's only Brits and the odd Belgian (as far as I'm aware - any darts buffs in the house?) who actually compete.
 
C

crackerjack

Well-known member
IdleRich said:
By the way, does anyone know what dressage is?
Click to expand...

It's horses walking on tiptoe is what it is, a kinda equine ballet.

Btw there is a sub-Olympics Olympics for minority sports (including dancesport and tug of war!):
Click to expand...

More like tug-o-war please. British bulldog would be a worthy addition. As for beach volleyball, no sport popularised by Married With Children can be all bad.
 
IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
"I don't see what the problem is: all sports are silly if you look at them closely enough (especially horse-riding)."
Click to expand...
Well maybe so - but I reckon that there is a definite difference on the one hand between a sport where a load of superfit people compete to objectively run the fastest over a given distance and where anyone in the world who has legs has had their chance to see if they had the natural talent to start striving towards that pinnacle, and on the other hand a sport where a small number of people who have had the opportunity to participate from a young age receive a medal according to points awarded subjectively by some people who can't even agree to within four points out of ten on the value of a given attempt.
Also of course I think that there is an almost fundamental desire to discover who can run the fastest or jump the highest in a way that has no parallel with regard to finding out who can walk their horse best on tiptoes or who can best swim in synch with some other fool.
I agree that horse-riding is especially silly though.

"Btw there is a sub-Olympics Olympics for minority sports"
Click to expand...
What's that sport at the Eskimo games where they have that tug of war thing where you're only allowed to use your ears (or is it your tongue?)?
 
mos dan

mos dan

fact music
crackerjack said:
It's horses walking on tiptoe is what it is, a kinda equine ballet.
Click to expand...

it's just a horse, riding! not at great speed, not over jumps, just sort of trotting around the edge of the paddock. and then at the end they give the award to the human being, not the horse! it makes my blood boil that that's considered a sport.

now, the animal olympics: that i would actually watch.
 
Mr. Tea

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
crackerjack said:
It's horses walking on tiptoe is what it is, a kinda equine ballet.
Click to expand...

Strictly speaking, most terrestrial mammals other than primates walk on tiptoe all the time.

Can I award myself this
stephenfry2zh9.jpg

?
 
IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
"Conversation?"
Click to expand...
Nah, it's called... ear pull apparently.

http://www.aliciapatterson.org/APF001972/Morgan/Morgan09/Morgan03.jpg

http://dwb.adn.com/photo/2007/07/21/2985919-240-x-160.jpg

"EAR PULL
In this event, two people sitting facing each other with twine looped around each other's ear - right ear to right ear, left to left. The two begin a "tug-of-war" to see who the winner is. Best two out of three wins the match. There are times when the loop will slip off one opponent's ear - that person is the loser of that round. Each participant alternate each round using alternate ears. The victor is demonstrating the ability to withstand pain, a trait sometimes needed to survive the harsh realities of the North."
Click to expand...

http://fairbanks-alaska.com/eskimo-indian-games.htm
 
C

crackerjack

Well-known member
There are times when the loop will slip off one opponent's ear - that person is the loser of that round.
Click to expand...

So it's not about ear strength, but ear-shape. Big flappy-eared fuckers win everytime.
 
mos dan

mos dan

fact music
IdleRich said:
Crikey, until this thread started I never realised how much of a problem I had with the olympics.
Click to expand...

well as someone (you?) so rightly pointed out at the start of this thread, why waste valuable energy decrying the horror of the all the political and corporate aspects of the games, when the sport is so shite to begin with! thank christ for the football season.

did anyone buy time out this week and find out why they (time out) are mooting cancelling london 2012? i refused on principle to pick it up and be taken in by its alluring headline.
 
IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
"So it's not about ear strength, but ear-shape. Big flappy-eared fuckers win everytime"
Click to expand...
Not at all, it's a perfect combination of the two, that's what makes the game so incredibly diverse and tactical and why it has grown so much in popularity in the UK over the last few years.

"well as someone (you?) so rightly pointed out at the start of this thread, why waste valuable energy decrying the horror of the all the political and corporate aspects of the games, when the sport is so shite to begin with!"
Click to expand...
But I can't leave it alone, ever since Crackerjack(?) started this thread I've been, er, bending everyone's ear about how many stupid sports there are in it and the number of ludicrous rules involved that anyone with half an brain can see are moronic the second that they are told about them. It's becoming an obsession.

"did anyone buy time out this week and find out why they (time out) are mooting cancelling london 2012? i refused on principle to pick it up and be taken in by its alluring headline."
Click to expand...
Nah, saw it and assumed it was just some kind of pointless "thought experiment" although obviously that would be giving it far too grand a name.
 
IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
"china is gonna get most the medals this olympics, heads will roll if they don't, plus they are smart enough to target events like rowing that theoretically anyone could do and have tons of events (and tons of medals)..."
Click to expand...
Is it true that American reporting has rejigged the medal table rules so that is in order of total medals rather than in order of golds to make their total larger than China's? (Well, they're actually level now if you count it that way but you get my point).
 
craner

craner

Beast of Burden
Barcelona 92, remember how strong the UK track and field team was that year? The early 90s was really good: Christie, Jackson, Backley, Gunnell, Jarrett, the 4x400 mens relay team etc. etc.

Now our major medal hope devolves to...Kelly Southerton!

I'm dreading 2012. It seems inevitable that it will be a disaster, a humiliation on all fronts.
 
Last edited:
craner

craner

Beast of Burden
Cancellation is a very good idea! Quick, before any more damage is done! What, we have to follow CHINA?? I think the entire country would breathe a collective sigh of relief if it was all called off. Phew! Close one!
 
IdleRich

IdleRich

IdleRich
"I'm dreading 2012. It seems inevitable that it will be a disaster, a humiliation on all fronts."
Click to expand...
Maybe that's why I'm so busy getting my retaliation in first.
Just been reading about this guy Phelps, apparently his time in the 400m was 28.14 seconds faster than the equivalent winning time in 1972 - how can that be? The winners in the serious events (not dressage) in the Olympics these days are almost literally superhuman - if you compared your average Olympian to me you would be hard pressed to tell that we were even from the same species. There is something incredibly impressive about that but in a sense I feel a bit unreasonably sad for the days when people considered it unsportsmanlike to train and it was purely a matter of finding out who was the most naturally gifted.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top