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Thread: how does a person stop having bad luck?

  1. #1
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    Default how does a person stop having bad luck?

    my lodger was on the bus last week and got screamed down by a psycho, this week she was thrown up upon, yesterday she lost 80, the cycle goes on, she is drama central but this is errie.. how does a person shed their bad luck?

  2. #2

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    Tell her to apply reverse psychology to the problem. Encourage her to view being puked on as a gift from the gods, and being screamed at as the highest form of praise. Get her to cut holes in her pockets and carry large amounts of cash around, believing that if any should notes or coins should touch the ground, good fortune and health will ensue. These aren't problems, they're wonderful! Sure enough, these things will stop happening overnight

  3. #3
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    Watch 'Intacto'! Seems you can raise or lower your luck by having photos of people. Or something. Good film anyway.

  4. #4
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    No such thing, it's all witchcraft. Don't blame it on the moonlight - blame it on the Mangu.

  5. #5
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    thanks , although i think things will get worse before they get better, this year is a very bad year though so it can't get much worse
    next question how do i get a vaguely fullfilling reasonably paid fucking job arrggghhhhh!

  6. #6
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    Apparently baseball players think you can do it by sleeping with someone unattractive...

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by mms
    how do i get a vaguely fullfilling reasonably paid fucking job arrggghhhhh!
    I wouldn't bother. Just find a really rich girl and ponce off her.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by martin
    I wouldn't bother. Just find a really rich girl and ponce off her.
    damn fucked that up then....

  9. #9

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    Look, don't worry. Your life can't be that bad. I work with a bunch of incompetents and am dying to get out. The grass is greener on my mate's mag, where he just writes about satellites. My flatmate is wallowing around on the sofa, coughing up phlegm and feeling sorry for herself, and now the flat smells of cunt. And I haven't been in a relationship that's lasted more than 4 days since August 2003. See? Bet yr feeling better already.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by martin
    Look, don't worry. Your life can't be that bad. I work with a bunch of incompetents and am dying to get out. The grass is greener on my mate's mag, where he just writes about satellites. My flatmate is wallowing around on the sofa, coughing up phlegm and feeling sorry for herself, and now the flat smells of cunt. And I haven't been in a relationship that's lasted more than 4 days since August 2003. See? Bet yr feeling better already.

    bless you mate

  11. #11
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    you have to switch into one of the other timelines. a risky operation. you have to be very aware of the points, in the railway sense of the word.

  12. #12

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    I remember once this very odd Catholic person came up to me in Foyles and gave me a plastic pedant of Mother Mary, and said, "this is for you. Keep it close to you always. I sense you deserve it."

    "Yeah, OK" I said and stuffed it into my pocket.

    A few months later Luke and I spent the morning at Borough Market drinking hot cider and on our walk home I threw the Plastic Mary into the Thames in a mad, half-drunk moment of atheist defiance.

    This inaugurated a endless Reich of Bad Luck that only really ended definitively in June 2017, when almost every single thing finally seemed to be in place for success and happiness.

    Last January I purchased a Pachira for my house, also called The Money Plant and known to be a symbol of good luck. It bloomed through all of last year as my luck and life kept improving. Last weekend I re-potted it and it looks like it is now starting to die. This is making me feel very edgy.

  13. #13
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    yes i remember this. it's only fair to point out that your luck hadn't been noticeably good before you threw away the virgin you just hadnt appreciated how much worse it could get.

  14. #14
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    your money plant will be fine (i have one too) repotting stresses plants out and they can suffer in the short term but soon it will be bigger and stronger than you ever thought possible

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to luka For This Useful Post:


  16. #15

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    Thanks mate. I was getting a bit stressed about it.

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