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Thread: What are you writing?

  1. #451
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    well no sign of this balsac essay of olivers yet but i looked at my twitter for the first time in a while today and was reminded that it is the most important and also best writing project anyone in the world has done in the last decade. i stand by that and chalenge anyone to find something either a)better or b)more important.

    its poetry and philosophy and its as long as a novel. any publisher with half a clue would be begging to publish it in its entireity.

  2. #452
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    I wrote this today in seven minutes of high calibre inspiration. It only got one Facebook like wotta pisstake. Pearls before a load of cunts frankly

    The Ballad of Paul ‘Gazza’ Gascoigne.

    Daft as Instinct, tracksuited loon, long
    in upper body, broad in chest and shoulder, strong
    in thigh and Calf
    Innocent as a Lamb.

    Turn on a sixpence, Cruyff, or cut
    Inwards, then outwards, oh MAURAUDING
    oh BARRELING straight up the guts
    oh AUDACIOUS oh MERCURIAL and oh
    CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

    English-Angloid Sentimentality and lachrymose alcoholism
    He liked to sink a few, no place for a genius, perhaps
    CELTIC or LATIN nation could have accommodated him
    But ALAS we have a tradition of EMPIRICISM and what
    Can only be described as a NATIVE PHILISTINISM.

    He wore his heart on his sleeve didn’t he?
    He fooled Jimmy ‘Five Bellies’ into
    scoffing cat shit,
    sneaked it
    into
    a
    mince
    pie,
    DIDN’T HE
    THAT WAS FUNNY

    A TRICKSTER GOD, a Jungian Archetype,
    Too large to be contained within the strictures
    And conventions of Bourgeois English Life,
    Market towns and men in quilted jackets,
    Bakewell tarts and women who wear headscarves.

    Modern Football took root, seeded from his fertile tears
    The whole billion £ circus, everybody knows it
    Which is why we all repeat it
    Mopping up salt tears with a shirt
    white
    as the cliffs of Dover.

    ARCHETYPAL TOO, in Tragedy,
    His Downfall mirroring that of BEST
    One might say, our only other
    Genius, our Dour, Utilitarian temperament,
    rarely giving rise to such
    Prodigies of Nature,
    Unicorns
    of muddy field
    and studded
    boot.
    WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG?

    REMEMBER, I know you do,
    That goal against Scotland,
    That last flaring of instinctual magic
    Ball hoisted over Hendry’s
    PLATINUM MANE
    And volleyed
    WITH AN INSOUSIANT
    SENSE
    OF DESTINY
    Goalwards!
    BISH BASH BOSH AND
    how do you like them onions?

    Or remember too,
    In that fateful year
    1996, when football came home
    A can of lager thrust into its hand
    And ushered towards the sofa,
    By matey, new lad comedians
    David Baddiel and Frank Skinner.
    England were garbed in grey,
    Strangers to themselves and yet,
    that desperate sliding lunge,
    that might have been
    deep
    into
    EXTRA
    TIME
    a
    FOOT
    just
    INCHES
    away from
    Glory and a
    Profoundly
    different England.

    We had dared to dreamed and watched,
    With familiar angst,
    As that dream was wrenched from our grasp.
    One might reflect, RUEFULLY, on how thin is
    The line separating
    What is, from What Might Have Been
    Laurelled Triumph from Defeat
    (DE FEET get it?)

    This is for you
    Paul ‘Gazza’ Gascoigne
    In your Innocence
    And your beauty.
    Your Failings
    Are
    Our Failings
    But your
    Magic
    Was
    Yours
    Alone.

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  4. #453
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    Well I like it. Not sure 'instinctual' is a word - not saying I'm sure it *isn't*, just not sure it *is*.

    I don't know how to make blank verse work and I think you have an impressive grasp of it. I'm wary of it because I think people who can't really write poetry at all use it by default because you don't have to consider rhyme or meter. My only recent attempts at verse have been in a rigidly structured form that probably went out of fashion some time in the 18th century.
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  5. #454
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    Of course instinctual is a word bleeding heck but thank you glad you like it

  6. #455
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    It just sounds like it should be 'instinctive'. But fair enough.
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  7. #456
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    Instinctive is a word too, but they sound different. They take up roughly the same amount of space and time, and it wouldn't do much harm to switch them around, but they do sound different. English has lots of words although it has famously few rhymes.

  8. #457
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    Quote Originally Posted by luka View Post
    English has lots of words although it has famously few rhymes.
    Really? Compared to what other languages?
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  10. #459
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    It's why the English poetic tradition has struggled to adapt most classical verse forms.

  11. #460
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    'He wore his heart on his sleeve didn’t he?
    He fooled Jimmy ‘Five Bellies’ into
    scoffing cat shit,
    sneaked it
    into
    a
    mince
    pie,
    DIDN’T HE
    THAT WAS FUNNY'



    Please explain why you
    do
    that
    with
    words

    IS IT A JOKE?

  12. #461
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    Robert McCrum on Conrad:

    Part of the work's strange hallucinatory atmosphere comes from the writer's struggle with a language that was not his mother tongue. He sometimes said he would have preferred to be a French novelist, and that English was a language without "clean edges". He once complained that "all English words are instruments for exciting blurred emotions". This, paradoxically, is perhaps what gives the book its famously enigmatic, and ambiguous, atmosphere.

    I bring this up cos in the intro to my HEARTOFDARKNESS it mentioned Conrad's frustrations with English, and how the word 'Oaken' means more than one thing in English whereas in French the equivalent word simply means 'made of Oak'.

  13. #462
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    Don't really like explaining things usually...

    It's obviously playing on the rhythms and vocabulary and other commonplaces of football commentary and punditry, for example, the fondness for poor puns, the linebreaks draw attention to Calf/lamb, foot/inch, and serve as a guide to stresses, and those bursts of breathless staccato you get at exciting moments in the game. So yes, it is a joke, among other things. It's how verse works. It's not as arbitrary as it looks
    Last edited by luka; 03-03-2017 at 11:39 AM.

  14. #463
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    Quote Originally Posted by luka View Post
    Latiny ones.
    Quote Originally Posted by luka View Post
    It's why the English poetic tradition has struggled to adapt most classical verse forms.
    Interesting. Perhaps connected to the traditional emphasis on alliteration rather than rhyme in the Germanic languages?
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  15. #464
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    instinctual has a more psychological component than instinctive, subtle but important difference.

  16. #465
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    Oops done a weird thing, accidentally deleted this...
    It's a poetic convention Corpsey but if you look you might find a few reasons why it's arranged the way it is, or you could try to put it in a block of text and see if it reads better. Nothing is ever just a joke is it, psychological commonplace
    And replaced it withDon't really like explaining things usually...

    It's obviously playing on the rhythms and vocabulary and other commonplaces of football commentary and punditry, for example, the fondness for poor puns, the linebreaks draw attention to Calf/lamb, foot/inch, and serve as a guide to stresses, and those bursts of breathless staccato you get at exciting moments in the game. So yes, it is a joke, among other things. It's how verse works. It's not as arbitrary as it looks

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