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Thread: Unfortunate names

  1. #1
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    Default Unfortunate names

    The things some parents name their children, it's almost like they want to cripple their formative years. Some are just plain unfortunate.

    Brock Kiely ('brocolli') - not so shaming, just hilarious that his parents didn't notice it.
    Nicole Mack - an atypically tall and burly girl at my school - in Canada, extremely large lorries are called "Mack Trucks"
    Leonard Poo - found him in the phonebook, used to prank call him all the time til he took his name out
    Robert Gotobed (someone from my mum's childhood, also I discovered, shares the name with someone in the band Wire)
    Richard Holder - that's right folks, Dick Holder
    There was a kid on my brothers hockey team whose last name was Bonar, which is a shame because that is what appears blown up in capital letters on the back of his jersey. Even worse, he was the goalie, so people stare at his back the whole time while he lets in goals.

    What might take the cake though: I was watching a movie the other day and in the credits I saw someone with the surname Cumstien.

    I also cringe when I see women with the name Trollope. You know they pronounce it "Troh-lope" to everyone though.

    I'm sure you have better ones.

  2. #2
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    Default

    Impossibly cool names are allowed too.

    For instance, Joel Noone ("No one") and Calvin Whynot (these are real people).

    I really wish my name was Calvin Whynot?

  3. #3
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    No-one will ever best Randy Bumgardner.
    Doin' the Lambeth Warp New: DISSENSUS - THE NOVEL - PM me your email address and I'll add you

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Tea View Post
    No-one will ever best Randy Bumgardner.
    you might very well be right.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Tea View Post
    No-one will ever best Randy Bumgardner.
    Yes they will

    The second of those used to introduce himself at press conferences (to the English speaking media, obviously) by announcing his name and telling everyone to get the giggles out of the way early

  6. #6
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    i used to work in a movie theater and i swear Baylis Glascock was a gaffer for every single picture

    there is a recent story here on the east coast USA about a father who named his son Adolf Hitler _______; his daughters were named So-and-so Aryan Nation _______ and whatever whatever some nazi name _________.

    there was this (hot) girl in my school name Kathleen Anita Blow. you know, like, kathy, i need a blow.
    :/

  7. #7
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    Default

    Working at the, shall we say, customer focused end of things I've had a few of these and will try to remember some more.

    The best one ever though is a lady ringing up to let us know she wanted her details changed because she'd got married.

    "I'd now like to be Mrs [forename] Smith"

    "Ok, that's great, [forename], congratulations! May I ask what your surname was previously?"

    "Thundercock"


    It wasn't me who took the call and the guy that did is THE DON for his internal fortitude because he retained his professional composure at that point.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by john eden View Post
    Working at the, shall we say, customer focused end of things I've had a few of these and will try to remember some more.

    The best one ever though is a lady ringing up to let us know she wanted her details changed because she'd got married.

    "I'd now like to be Mrs [forename] Smith"

    "Ok, that's great, [forename], congratulations! May I ask what your surname was previously?"

    "Thundercock"


    It wasn't me who took the call and the guy that did is THE DON for his internal fortitude because he retained his professional composure at that point.
    Fucking hell, I'm quite tempted to change my surname TO 'Thundercock'.
    Doin' the Lambeth Warp New: DISSENSUS - THE NOVEL - PM me your email address and I'll add you

  9. #9
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    If one good thing has come from the Gaza situation, it's the fact that it prompted me to google and find this guy:

    http://www.ratemyteachers.com/school...rold__jizzrael

  10. #10
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    there was a vietnamese kid named Phuk Nyo or something like that. and the correct pronunciation was : Fuck No.

  11. #11
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    in my time i have answered the phone to:

    Mr A Cockaday
    Ms Z Nazi
    Mr N Labia

    Ho ho!

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by STN View Post
    Ms Z Nazi
    Mr N Labia
    I think these two should hook up and found a Nazi-Labia clan. With sexy results.
    Last edited by Mr. Tea; 20-10-2009 at 11:10 PM.
    Doin' the Lambeth Warp New: DISSENSUS - THE NOVEL - PM me your email address and I'll add you

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Tea View Post
    I think these two should hook up and flound a Nazi-Labia clan. With sexy results.
    The father of an old friend of mine emigrated to New Zealand from somewhere in E Europe. So they Anglicised their name - to Beaver

  14. #14
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    ANIL SHITOLE? LOL, etc!!

    I quite like 'Nitin Shitole' as well. I thought you only got them on your head??

    'Ram Shitole' is a classic too.
    ** pandemonium ad asbo **

  15. #15
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    It is a credit to this board that no one has claimed to have been like, actually, at school with this kid called Wayne King, right?

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