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  1. #1
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    Default Books with life-changing qualities

    Maybe this should go in AL&F, but I am meaning books both fictional and non-fictional. Indeed, primarily the latter.

    I am almost through Erich Fromm's 'The Art of Loving', and it is extraordinary in its disentanglement of a whole raft of presuppositions and 'feelings' that many of us have about the nature and practice of love. Quite possibly life-changing.

    Although I'm sure it has its detractors, 'The Artist's Way' also fits into this category for me, if only for the innovation of the 'morning pages', quite possibly the best way to spend 20 minutes in the morning short of mind-blowing sex with the partner of one's dreams. Although hopefully that would last longer than 20 minutes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zhao View Post
    I think my friend was telling me about this. Is one of her dictums that forgiving someone (a parent, possibly) for what they've done is not the right way to heal emotional wounds, contrary to so much contemporary Western teaching?

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    Quote Originally Posted by baboon2004 View Post
    I think my friend was telling me about this. Is one of her dictums that forgiving someone (a parent, possibly) for what they've done is not the right way to heal emotional wounds, contrary to so much contemporary Western teaching?
    i've only read 1/3 of it. so don't know the answer to that... big issue with me so i need to finish it and find out what she says about it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zhao View Post
    i've only read 1/3 of it. so don't know the answer to that... big issue with me so i need to finish it and find out what she says about it.
    A book you only read a third of changed your life? You couldn't have liked it that much then!

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    Quote Originally Posted by baboon2004 View Post
    Books with life-changing qualities
    ...are whatever is most relevant to you personally


    for me that was probably this:




    for one of my mates it was this:





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    Quote Originally Posted by subvert47 View Post
    ...are whatever is most relevant to you personally


    for me that was probably this:




    for one of my mates it was this:




    Fair point.

    As for the Strauss, 'negging' has become a key slang-word in conversations with one of my friends (he's read it, I haven't).

    And (sadly?) it is actually quite a workable concept, given most people's shaky sense of self-esteem (especially if covered over with bravado).
    Last edited by baboon2004; 07-04-2009 at 11:13 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by baboon2004 View Post
    Fair point.

    As for the Strauss, 'negging' has become a key slang-word in conversations with one of my friends (he's read it, I haven't).

    And (sadly?) it is actually quite a workable concept, given most people's shaky sense of self-esteem (especially if covered over with bravado).
    Jesus christ, I hate all that pick-up expert bullshit. Every meathead fuckwit I know is into it. If you're good looking/tall/funny/cool you're going to find it easy to sleep around, otherwise forget about it. What a racket.

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    I know it sounds corny, but probably 1984. I read it thinking it was a straight-ahead sci-fi novel when I was 12, and it introduced me to a lot of philosophical and political ideas for the first time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by swears View Post
    Jesus christ, I hate all that pick-up expert bullshit. Every meathead fuckwit I know is into it. If you're good looking/tall/funny/cool you're going to find it easy to sleep around, otherwise forget about it. What a racket.
    It won't work for meathead fuckwits because they're following the game, not staying ahead of it. But it really did change my mate's life for a while: from being a total wuss, to getting off with any girl in the place. Until he got bored of it anyway.

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    Quote Originally Posted by subvert47 View Post
    It won't work for meathead fuckwits because they're following the game, not staying ahead of it. But it really did change my mate's life for a while: from being a total wuss, to getting off with any girl in the place. Until he got bored of it anyway.
    I haven't read the book, only had a look at various web sites that deal with pick up artistry through NLP etc. and I found that it all reeks of a severe lack of dignity and respect for the woman these "artists" want to pick up and (maybe even more) for themselves.

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    So I started re-reading Catch 22 last night. It's still great.
    I'm wondering if reading it at an impressionable age helped contribute to my borderline irrational antagonism towards the military.

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    Spiral Dynamics

    it gives you the tools.

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    Default More Game gubbins

    Quote Originally Posted by subvert47 View Post
    It won't work for meathead fuckwits because they're following the game, not staying ahead of it. But it really did change my mate's life for a while: from being a total wuss, to getting off with any girl in the place. Until he got bored of it anyway.
    It's absoloutely mindblowing finding out how easy it is to actually kiss girls.

    One of my best mates was the sad, speccy git who couldn't get a girlfriend from some C4 documentary about "The Game". He has a girlfriend now, she's pretty cute too. He gots tons of free advice and help from many top guys, before and after the TV show. There are money and status games being played, but it's only 1 part of the community not the whole thing.

    I dabbled in this area myself. Usually leading me to dating foreign girls who needed showing around London and to be fucked by a local. Without that Pester Square Posse, a lot of foreign girls would have shit times in London. As a result, got a couple of free holidays later on and spent New Year 07/08 in one of the poshest sex clubs in Europe. Got my heartbroken and other stuff too, but that's okay.

    Clearly there are respect issues within the community, are they really any different to the ones you find everywhere else? Most relationships are not that healthy and a lot of sex is driven by esteem issues and maniplulation. To the extent there's anything special going on in the 'pick-up community', then surely it's men trying to work out what the hell they're supposed to be doing with their lives in a 'post-feminist' world where the rules are increasingly unclear. It might be nice if that was a dialogue girls could be more actively included in, but like everything else it's a work in progress.

    On another note, was Jarvis Cocker the/a prototype 'Mystery' figure? The lyrics to 'I Spy' from Different Class, in particular, are very interesting in this context. Pulp were supposed to be quite the girlfriend-stealers too.

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