Addiction

P

Pestario

tell your friends
baboon2004 said:
From what I have seen, the problem reaches crazy proportions amongst gay men, presumably due to the easier availability of casual sex - a boyfriend of a close friend of mine had apparently slept with over 1000 people, which blew my head off (no double meaning at all intended) when my friend told me. Now THAT'S self-destructive behaviour...
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1000! A guy at work has confided that he's had over 600 sexual partners in the space of about 6 years. Although he's now happily and monogamously civil partnered for over 8 years (EDIT: obv CPed when it became legal). I guess those sexual encounters were 'healthy' in the way that they didn't affect his ability to love one person.


with the net it's extremely easy to get nookie. Just put in your postcode and you're off...
 
B

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
I'm obviously not trying hard enough!

but, like, a thousand....anyways, I was shocked. More to the point - were so many of them that rubbish that they weren't worth seeing again, or is that not the point,a nd it's just variety after variety after variety until there's no variety at all, just a different face/arse/cunt/cock/whatever (ear, if you're really kinky)?
 
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B

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
mistersloane said:
but it's not really that many people though, is it? It's only kinda one every day for three years.

My favourite story was an old mate who was asked at a new GU how many people he'd slept with and he pointed at the phone book and went 'start at A'.
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I'm rubbish with acronyms...

It's definitely a succinct, show-stopping answer! :)
 
M

mistersloane

heavy heavy monster sound
baboon2004 said:
I'm obviously not trying hard enough!

but, like, a thousand....anyways, I was shocked. More to the point - were so many of them that rubbish that they weren't worth seeing again, or is that not the point,a nd it's just variety after variety after variety until there's no variety at all, just a different face/arse/cunt/cock/whatever (ear, if you're really kinky)?
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I think it's sex as function rather than form. I mean, I think it can - and maybe should - get pathologised quite easily, that form of promiscuity, but another way of looking at it is just having a different fantasy every (day? other day? week?) ...and then acting on that. Plus it's free.

I'm not necessarily advocating, just trying to look at other ways of looking at it rather than the good/bad/fucked up paradigms that seem to occur round the subject. For some people, sex is just their thing, y'know? Hobby almost I guess. I'd think that the burnout rate would be quite high though, people appearing as objects rather than humans, from people I've met that seems to be the case, which ties in with the porn use discussion as well.
 
B

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
mistersloane said:
I think it's sex as function rather than form. I mean, I think it can - and maybe should - get pathologised quite easily, that form of promiscuity, but another way of looking at it is just having a different fantasy every (day? other day? week?) ...and then acting on that. Plus it's free.

I'm not necessarily advocating, just trying to look at other ways of looking at it rather than the good/bad/fucked up paradigms that seem to occur round the subject. For some people, sex is just their thing, y'know? Hobby almost I guess. I'd think that the burnout rate would be quite high though, people appearing as objects rather than humans, from people I've met that seems to be the case, which ties in with the porn use discussion as well.
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Yeah, I'd be interested in reading any studies that have come out on this level of promiscuity, where a large number of people have ben interviewed.

The routine thing is interesting - eg instead of watching an hour of TV in the evenings, I'll go and have sex with someone.

Without wishing to lapse into the typical paradigms you rightly want to avoid, I do think that it would be difficult to see sex as a hobby in this way without some sticky (ahem) consequences. Is it that easy to choose one night/one week NOT to do your hobby in this case? And is it fun any more?

Yeah, definitely ties in with the porn thing, where (virtual) variety can be the attraction too.
 
M

mistersloane

heavy heavy monster sound
baboon2004 said:
Yeah, I'd be interested in reading any studies that have come out on this level of promiscuity, where a large number of people have ben interviewed.

The routine thing is interesting - eg instead of watching an hour of TV in the evenings, I'll go and have sex with someone.

Without wishing to lapse into the typical paradigms you rightly want to avoid, I do think that it would be difficult to see sex as a hobby in this way without some sticky (ahem) consequences. Is it that easy to choose one night/one week NOT to do your hobby in this case? And is it fun any more?

Yeah, definitely ties in with the porn thing, where (virtual) variety can be the attraction too.
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Project Sigma used to be really good on this - I was an interviewee for a while! a long time ago. I should probably get back in touch with them actually

http://www.sigmadiaries.com/

That's for gay men, though not exclusively. Their interviews used to be really interesting.

I think it'd be like any non-physiological (weirdly, lol) addiction, in that, y'know, if you don't have a reliance on weed then you will smoke if it's there, won't if not, but I guess like any habit, it would get harder to break the more you do it. And I guess yeah the fun would still happen, it's just that some orgasms are better than others.

I disagree with people here on the weed thing btw, I know it's not listed as being physiologically addictive but I've seen plenty of people clucking really badly when they don't have it. I think it's just as pernicious as any other drug, personally. And I like drugs, but I think weed is taken too lightly alot of the time, without wanting to get all sunday supplementy.
 
B

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
mistersloane said:
Project Sigma used to be really good on this - I was an interviewee for a while! a long time ago. I should probably get back in touch with them actually

http://www.sigmadiaries.com/

That's for gay men, though not exclusively. Their interviews used to be really interesting.

I think it'd be like any non-physiological (weirdly, lol) addiction, in that, y'know, if you don't have a reliance on weed then you will smoke if it's there, won't if not, but I guess like any habit, it would get harder to break the more you do it. And I guess yeah the fun would still happen, it's just that some orgasms are better than others.

I disagree with people here on the weed thing btw, I know it's not listed as being physiologically addictive but I've seen plenty of people clucking really badly when they don't have it. I think it's just as pernicious as any other drug, personally. And I like drugs, but I think weed is taken too lightly alot of the time, without wanting to get all sunday supplementy.
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The Sigma stuff is very interesting, thanks.

I guess the problem is that i can't relate due to lack of promiscuous experience(!), so everything I'm thinking on this is wild conjecture. But I do know that I do feel morose when I have orgasms on a daily/v regular basis when it's not with a cherished partner (so either sinful masturbation or casual encounters).

Agree about weed, definitely. I'd rather my child took pills or speed every (maybe not every) weekend than smoked skunk. I think I mean that.
 
Mr. Tea

Mr. Tea

Let's Talk About Ceps
Weed can be insidious because some people kid themselves that it's not a 'proper' drug, or not a 'bad' drug like booze, coke, speed, whatever. Or when they decide it can't be harmful because it's, ahaha, 'natural'. It's when something is assumed to be harmless that it actually becomes dangerous. Of course, this applies to all sorts of things.
 
B

BareBones

wheezy
mistersloane said:
I disagree with people here on the weed thing btw, I know it's not listed as being physiologically addictive but I've seen plenty of people clucking really badly when they don't have it. I think it's just as pernicious as any other drug, personally. And I like drugs, but I think weed is taken too lightly alot of the time, without wanting to get all sunday supplementy.
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i wasn't trying to suggest that weed is totally unaddictive or unharmful anything, i've got plenty of friends who are heavy weed smokers and they're always jonesing real bad when they can't get hold of any (though of course it's nothing compared to like heroin withdrawal or whatever), and my girlfriend is a psychiatric nurse so she's full of first-hand knowledge of guys who've turned totally psychotic and paranoiac from years of smoking... i've smoked weed for like maybe 8, 9 years, though never really heavily, but I have my occasional moments of paranoia, crushing apathy, memory loss, an almost explictly-noticeable sort of mental slowing-down, all that stuff.... i still like smoking though. :eek:
 
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