Only Children
- Thread starter sufi
- Start date
the music and media of course makes sense: so much time spent alone growing up. i remembe drawing for hours and hours on end by myself, reading obsessively from age 4 to 7 (wore glasses by then), and just always playing by myself... yes "can" be a good thing...
in addition to the self absorption and sense of entitlement and insularity and emotional detachment and simultaneous neediness and "lack of understanding of how people work" (thanks Luka!)... and some or all of these characteristics is presumby how nomad knows this:
product of the "1 child rule" of 1970s China... and even now. i was reading that the policy is regarded internationally as a huge success, as the population growth rate in China has ONLY been like 10 million annually (i exaggerate but it was some huge number).
would be amazing but i don't think i will have one... 1: terrified of becoming my father and 2: the usual over population and number of unwanted children in the world issues. my girlfriend has a daughter, so it's kind of like adoption like i always wanted to, but without the pain in the ass procedures.
nomadthethird
more issues than Time mag
This reminds me, I was going to say before, when someone asked for "objective" rather than subjective measures of favoritism:
In all countries where they've instituted population controls and two-children limits, "social disequilibrium" in the form of drastic female shortages have soon followed. In countries like China and India, female fetuses are routinely aborted (basically on sight, as soon as ultrasounds confirm that they are female--you can walk into the next room and get it terminated), orphanages are full of female children, etc. etc.
A lot of people think this factor helped usher in a few revolutions. Tense 18-35 men = civil unrest.
nomadthethird
more issues than Time mag
For the record, I'm not saying pop controls or abortions are bad, just that any time they get instituted on a large scale, male children get favored over females, which says something about economics, politics, social dynamics, and whose life/traits humans tend to value more.
"would you like blended or unblended ? "
To reply a bit to Nomado, re: 'blended' families.
Our's never blended -it was like oil and water, familial layers smooshed together on what looked like more a whim then a plan.
We would have been much better off if Dad hadn't wanted to get remarried so quickly -
and the other women we was dating were much nicer, hotter and cooler.
Well, I got three identikit step brothers and younger step sister added to our three brood.
Totally mismatched in almost every way ...
Mother died early , I was 6 or 7 -to the earlier point made by MrSloane - it is quite different having already gone through some of that 'death' stuff.
Now my wife and some friends are dealing with the 'taking care of parent's' thing -
after only dealing with the thought of it and from a distance !
By now all sorted - Step mum passed after 9/11,
Dad has new British girlfriend photog who used to boss transport in Africa.
And so all is peaceful ...
To reply a bit to Nomado, re: 'blended' families.
Our's never blended -it was like oil and water, familial layers smooshed together on what looked like more a whim then a plan.
We would have been much better off if Dad hadn't wanted to get remarried so quickly -
and the other women we was dating were much nicer, hotter and cooler.
Well, I got three identikit step brothers and younger step sister added to our three brood.
Totally mismatched in almost every way ...
Mother died early , I was 6 or 7 -to the earlier point made by MrSloane - it is quite different having already gone through some of that 'death' stuff.
Now my wife and some friends are dealing with the 'taking care of parent's' thing -
after only dealing with the thought of it and from a distance !
By now all sorted - Step mum passed after 9/11,
Dad has new British girlfriend photog who used to boss transport in Africa.
And so all is peaceful ...
4linehaiku
Repetitive
Well if it helps your theory you'll be pleased to hear I'm an only child. Would probably fit into the music obsessed subset as well, I'm just one big walking cliche I suppose.
Never got the sibling jealousy thing though (the fact other people have them, rather than people being jealous of theirs). Possible interactions with siblings seem to range from 'really good friends who you have known forever' which I already have, to 'weird people you don't like or get on with but are stuck with anyway' which I obviously don't want. If it does offer some particularity unique experience then I have no idea what I missing, so I can't really be jealous of that either.
Not sure how well I fit the other usual only-child stereotypes. Self-analysis on this sort of thing doesn't tend to be very revealing does it?
Never got the sibling jealousy thing though (the fact other people have them, rather than people being jealous of theirs). Possible interactions with siblings seem to range from 'really good friends who you have known forever' which I already have, to 'weird people you don't like or get on with but are stuck with anyway' which I obviously don't want. If it does offer some particularity unique experience then I have no idea what I missing, so I can't really be jealous of that either.
Not sure how well I fit the other usual only-child stereotypes. Self-analysis on this sort of thing doesn't tend to be very revealing does it?
nomadthethird
more issues than Time mag
I just realized something. Every roommate I've ever had was an only child, from undergrad on up, including my current one. Even the ones I lived with in the 'real world,' in every apartment I've ever had. (Excluding any cohabitating partners.)
Since some of them were (semi-)randomly assigned, it's partially coincidence. But I'm guessing that I think about 'only children' in a certain light because I have a lot of experience living with them.
Since some of them were (semi-)randomly assigned, it's partially coincidence. But I'm guessing that I think about 'only children' in a certain light because I have a lot of experience living with them.
i'm all for starting with the extermination of male fetuses.
my ex's mom was like 67 years old, and has a lovelife more exciting than ours. at one point she had 2 or 3 boyfriends at the same time, including a japanese doctor man who was married, who she was trying to convince to divorce. between all of them every other month she was going on a cruise or some such.
pretty inspiring really.
CHAOTROPIC
on account
I'm a twin, born on my father's birthday. He couldn't be more different than me. Big, fat, blond, married dyspraxic lawyer with aspergers. If I wasn't a twin I'd swear I was adopted.
nomadthethird
more issues than Time mag
Mono or dizygotic?
With respect to birthdays and school years, my late October birthday made me one of the oldest in my primary school year, but skipping the final year of primary school and going to secondary a year early made me the second-youngest in my year (the youngest had done the same thing). I started university aged 17, had my 18th birthday party a few weeks into my first term...
CHAOTROPIC
on account
Non-identical. Cesarian, but I was pulled out last, so I'm the youngest. Being a twin is weird ... we didn't do the 'secret language' thing but we were close enough to have our own world, etc. Shared everything until we were about 13 & barely spoken since.
empty mirror
remember the jackalope
my grandfather was a twin
he saw his twin brother get hit by a truck
must be close to seeing oneself die
he saw his twin brother get hit by a truck
must be close to seeing oneself die
Mr. Tea
Let's Talk About Ceps
Elder of two. Got a brother 2.5 years younger (2 years below me at school). I think big-ish gaps between kids probably make things easier for the parents - less rivalry as they grow up, and often the older one can help take care of the younger one a bit, or at least not be so much of an attention-drain. With a gap of only a couple of years you've got to suddenly got to look after a newborn as well as a toddler.
nomadthethird
more issues than Time mag
Yeah they're pretty different I've heard, non-identical versus identical...
There are identical twins in my family, which is extra incentive not to have kids, since that raises your chances of having them yourself-- if there's anything scarier than having one kid, it's two at once who are the same age.
3 Body No Problem
Well-known member
Great idea, we should aim to achieve a 1:4 male to female ratio. It would be a feminist's dream: women working in all jobs, including all top jobs. Men could form harems and bang hot girls left right and center without ever having to endure monogamy.
Almost all my friends are eldest children with > 1 sibling. As am I. Why?