how to get out of embarrassing situations.

don_quixote

Trent End
i was on my way home from work tonight and decided to take my fast backroute home. it has been out of action for the past few weeks due to ice and snow, but today the rain had come down and the road was clear. anyway, as i was on a nice straight bit i hit someone going pretty slowly (about 35mph) whilst i wanted to bomb along happily at 60mph. the road was clear on the other side so i decided to overtake.

FUCK, SHIT, BOLLOCKS: IT'S A HEARSE

i got past one car then suddenly two cars ahead i saw it was a hearse.

astounded by how awful this social etiquette was i decided against overtaking the whole lot and suddenly thought... fuck! i'm now in the fucking funeral procession. and they're probably all going "what a tosser!!"... luckily 2 mins later i turned the other way to them.

how should i have got out this situation?
a) overtaken the whole lot, sped up, got out of the situation and ignored that it ever happened.
b) pulled over, let them past and start again.
c) stayed in the middle and pray that they were not majorly majorly pissed off

this was in the middle of nowhere, not in a town, at 4pm on a rainy afternoon.
 

crackerjack

Well-known member
I once stopped at a roundabout for a funeral cortege coming from my left. I waited while the hearse and two more obviously funereal vehicles pulled round 270degrees and passed right by me. I made to pull out, but a car from the left pulled out in front, so i braked, beeped, then realised it was yet another part of the funeral, with what looked very like a weeping widow in the back. So I stopped, waited, while that and 3 more funeral cars pulled round the rondabout and right by my nose, glaring all the way.

Advice? Curl up & die. It's for the best.
 

nochexxx

harco pronting
i always like to refer back to that Assassins line 'nothings true and everything's permitted'. sometimes the perception of being rude is unavoidable. no disrespect intended but i'd like to think i would have steamrolled passed. of course i'd feel bad afterwards.
 

sufi

lala
my standard response for unwanted invites (work drinks, facebook & the like);
"well i'd love to, but, you see, it's my ASBO..."
works a treat :)
 

martin

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I once stopped at a roundabout for a funeral cortege coming from my left. I waited while the hearse and two more obviously funereal vehicles pulled round 270degrees and passed right by me. I made to pull out, but a car from the left pulled out in front, so i braked, beeped, then realised it was yet another part of the funeral, with what looked very like a weeping widow in the back. So I stopped, waited, while that and 3 more funeral cars pulled round the rondabout and right by my nose, glaring all the way.

Advice? Curl up & die. It's for the best.

No, that situation's easily remedied - if you'd just taken your hat off, as a mark of respect, they would've understood.

I remember being round a female friend's house, and an argument about music started. Anyway, she stuck on a tape and asked me what I thought about it. I said I thought it was shit, and it turned out it was the creation of her boyfriend. Who'd had surgery and a shitload of problems at that time - and who was sitting next to me, with a 'why is this happening?' look on his face. I did argue that taste's relative and that I wasn't exactly given the opportunity to be tactful - "hey, Jacko sells millions of records, I don't like him, so who's wrong? What do I know??" - but it still put a downer on that whole 3-4am 'chillout period'.

Especially so when I didn't pay the taxi driver back from hers, and the cab firm then refused to pick her or her boyfriend up, forever.

The best excuse for anything ever is 'The Devil made me do it'. Who can argue against that? It wasn't you, it was the Devil. You had no control and can't be judged on a random act of possession (which wasn't your fault).
 

baboon2004

Darned cockwombles.
the last girl i went on a date with was really into awkward situations (which was lucky, seeing how it ended). i'm getting into that mentality myself - it's highly enjoyable once you let go and see it from the outside.

there was a nightmarish russian guy on the tube this week who was asking everyone random awkward questions (and inexplicably speaking in Russian to me as though I could understand), and greeting someone who had just got on with the immortal non-sequitur, "Woman, have you ever been to Argentina?" Normally I'd only enjoy that if i was pissed, but i found myself really getting into the awkwardness.
 

STN

sou'wester
No, that situation's easily remedied - if you'd just taken your hat off, as a mark of respect, they would've understood.

I remember being round a female friend's house, and an argument about music started. Anyway, she stuck on a tape and asked me what I thought about it. I said I thought it was shit, and it turned out it was the creation of her boyfriend. Who'd had surgery and a shitload of problems at that time - and who was sitting next to me, with a 'why is this happening?' look on his face. I did argue that taste's relative and that I wasn't exactly given the opportunity to be tactful - "hey, Jacko sells millions of records, I don't like him, so who's wrong? What do I know??" - but it still put a downer on that whole 3-4am 'chillout period'.

Especially so when I didn't pay the taxi driver back from hers, and the cab firm then refused to pick her or her boyfriend up, forever.

The best excuse for anything ever is 'The Devil made me do it'. Who can argue against that? It wasn't you, it was the Devil. You had no control and can't be judged on a random act of possession (which wasn't your fault).

I assume this taxi situation ended more satisfactorily than the down-the-side-of-Morrison's escapade?
 

martin

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I assume this taxi situation ended more satisfactorily than the down-the-side-of-Morrison's escapade?

Yeah - well, not for her obviously. She was quite annoyed. That time I just accused the driver of being a liar and aggressively demanded to know if he 'tried this on' with 'young girl' passengers. Which was unfair, as he did tell me it would be a tenner in advance, but I was convinced the drive was only worth a 'five'.

But it wasn't even me in the back of the cab - it was the Devil.
 
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